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Saturday, October 01, 2005

Later

After having argued with him for the nth time on a subject which made no sense to me... I decided to call it quits.He wouldn't understand coz he just wouldn't listen.Well,then I had nothing to say...anymore.It was over.
I was determined to go for a walk.It always makes me feel better. To divert my attention to something other than myself .

It has always been me ,isn't it? My happiness,my griefs..my idea of having a perfect world for myself...
I wonder how long it had been since I had genuinely cared for someone else..other than me...

Even my showering of affection was because it gave me happiness. I felt frustrated at having narrowed down my existence to such a minuscule level...just me..me..me
I walked with dreamy eyes..lost in thoughts when I felt someone tug at my jeans.. it was a dirty child clinging to my left leg...
oh hell..what is she(or is it a he?) doing here...
where are its parents?
Surely it is too young to beg!
I fumbled in my wallet..it had all 100s..there was no way I could help it
It wouldn't let go off me..and kept clinging...I looked around helplessly....soon some people came to my aid and released me of my plight.
I had looked away to hide my tears and after a long time I wasn't crying for myself...

It dawned upon me that I am unduely priviledged..and I don't deserve to be happy because I forget the fact-more often than not,how truly blessed I am.

There are people around the globe who are leaving their homes and possesions behind and taking refuge somewhere else to save themselves from the annihilating clutches of a cruel hurricane..some don't even get the chance.
Innocent ones are getting their heads blown in wars because a few power hungry nations wouldn't believe peace is financially beneficial. Some are crippled for life,some die before they have begun to live.
Those who survive the horrors live in a world which has no meaning .

And it is not like a stupid computer game where u can get life bonuses and health packs and magic potions in the right places

At least I have the power of choice..to live and be happy..

3 comments:

Samik said...

Even my showering of affection was because it gave me happiness.

I thought that was the right thing to do.

ME-MOI-MYSELF said...

I agree with samik. The world would be such a better place if everybody acknowledged that it is about "ME" and not actually about "ME" crouched as about "THEM" and "THE REST OF THE WORLD". If we stopped pretending that we do things for others i guess we'd all be at peace with ourselves.

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