Memoirs of a Geisha

She paints her face to hide her face. Her eyes are deep water. It is not for Geisha to want. It is not for Geisha to feel. Geisha is an artist of the floating world. She dances, she sings. She entertains you, whatever you want. The rest is shadows, the rest is secret

Watched the movie and I loved it...And one thing is for sure...if I don't get to read the book...I won't rest in peace ...

How does it feel to be the most desired woman of the land..n yet not have the right to desire the man she chooses?
How does it feel to have wanted only one thing in life truly..n try to accept the fact that ur wish can never be fulfilled..??
To know a mere glance can make a wayfarer forget his way...n yet... to know u can never choose ur own path..

U can't decide ur destiny..coz u have no choice...

Ask a nine-year-old named Chiyo from a fishing village who is sold to a geisha house in Kyoto's Gion district ..who grows to be a legendary Giesha named Sayuri..she fetches 15,000 Yen from her patron..the highest bid in Geisha history..

Schooled in the artistic and social skills a geisha must master in order to survive in her society,she is blessed with the beauty of expression which can melt the heart of even the most resistant man ...

(Trivia:The movie has been nominated for 6 Oscars)

The wackiest things

It was not until someone called me “wacky” after a long time that I thought to myself "How whacky am I?”
A few instances popped instantly to my mind and I think I have grown up enough to confess them…..here.
I am not immoral but someone whom I would call amoral coz some restrictions don’t make any sense to me…

Anyways before I plunge into a deep reverie and begin sounding like some criminal..
I’d like to share a few light moments of my not so long life..
Which I think can be categorized as “wacky” or “crazy’

#1 I was in sector 18 ,as usual..freaking out with my friends..fortunately/unfortunately armed with a camera(had come to get a roll washed )
a few shots remaining..I was desperate to make the best use of them

It was when Raddison,Noida was under construction..
Two snake charmers were moving around with a python n I dunno why…but I thought..the only thing I want in life right now(typical me) is to wrap that creepy thing around my neck..like my life depended on it
n a get a pic clicked..

I paid those people handsomely..lest that snake should faint(lol)
N asked them to help me get adorned by that reptile..
The python was strong…
A couple of passer bys stopped and gaped at me..n I thought..”Poor creatures..wish they tried out the same..it’s so thrilling”
After the photo session the snake turned a bit moody n refused to uncoil itself
The more those snake charmers tried to unwind it..the tighter it wound itself around my neck..until I choked myself n felt it’ll wring my neck n probably this is going to be the last snap of my life..
I wondered if my parents would put it in a frame if I died..
N honestly I can say..for once in my life..I was scared
I gestured those idiots to stop pulling the python from both ends n let it have its way..
It soon relaxed and I felt a gush of fresh air filling my lungs again…
Aah..a narrow escape

Mom freaked out when I emailed that pic to my parents…Dad I guess was proud. Coz all he said was”That’s like my gal”

#2 I don't fag for a stupid reason...it darkens lips!!!
But once I shared a bidi with a blue collared woman who worked in my hostel...
She taught me how to cup ur hands to take a kashh
Somehow ..it was the most liberating experience of my life..
I found all social barriers vanish..n her to be just another human being...

#3 This is what I call juvenile deliquescence.
We were a close-knit group of six females..prurient and curious.
Three of us stole an essential commodity from Store 18 which usually comes in a pack of 3 and the rest of us met in my hostel room(yeah u guessed it right-the HeadQuarters)
The first one was blown like a balloon,the 2nd filled with water and pichkao-ed and the 3rd was thrown in front of the warden's room :D
Now that I am safely out of the bounds of campus..I can confess who helped the warden set a world record in Screaming the following morning...

Btw u can pluck my teeth one by one..or pull my nails..or skin me alive (or try any other medieval form of torture...) I am not going to name the other partners in crime...LOL

(continued)

Eerie Replay

The headlines arrested my attention...and I was soon reading a cursory glance by the print media which needed to fill its columns...
It was a tale of a young ,beautiful woman who had committed suicide by hanging herself from the ceiling fan of her Juhu apartment..leaving behind a two-page suicide note,saying she couldn't cope with life's pressures.
All the elements of romance included..she even had a loving boyfriend about whom she wrote
"I'm sorry ,Bhanu.I 'm paying for my sins.You're the most beautiful person in my life.You taught me the true meaning of love"

Yes,I am talking of Kuljeet Randhawa-the female lead in teleserials "Kohinoor' and "Special Squad"..who was awaiting the release of her first Bollywood film.
Having featured in a host of commercials for Whirlpool,Maruti and Reid & Taylor etc...a wannabe might think what could have made her take such a foolish/bold/(n a plethora of other adjectives to suit one's tastes/inclination) move when her career was going great guns.

We read.We muse over for a while..n we forget..

and another story another day...another headline..makes us think for a while


Full many a flower is born to blush unseen and waste it's sweetness on the desert air

What cures me..

I hate doctors..and medications..
My general physician Dr.Meenakshi Jain of Max Noida had given up on me long back..coz she knows I won't show my face until I am really ill..

For the past few days I was taking rather pride in the fact that I am having fever n still fooling about...n giving those viruses a permanent abode

But not for too long..
someone came over to visit me n insisted I get a check up done..
Hospitals n nursing homes have a very depressing ambience..no matter how cheerful the staff is..the other patients always make u gloomy...

Now when Tanu di insisted I go along with her to a doc near by..she said..I needn't bother about it..the uncle is so sweet..unhe dekhtey hi tumhara bukhaar bhaag jayega..
That was promising..

Somehow I relented..
And I will never repent I did so..
He was the sweetest doc I have ever seen in my life..so less a doc n so much more a human..

Obviously the first thing was to check my tempt..which he found to be a little more than 102
..now I felt ill...shittt!!!
n then he asked how long had I been running a tempt..I had to tell him..umm..a couple of days maybe..(maybe more ..fingers crossed..lying)
He suggested an injection wud ensure a quicker recovery..
first I thought he is kidding..but then I realised he is serious..!!

Ouch !! I hate needles!!! Mummy..Piercing is ok..but injections!! NO!

But the kindly man hardly made me realise I am ill...n so did his wife..who kept talking to me all the while

I soon found myself laughing at his jokes n n his theth Punjabi(which I found very endearing)

Fortunately,it was their son's bday n I got an extra treat of my fav laddoos...after those goodies aunties had already stuffed me with..
It was fun..just like visiting ur fav aunt/uncle n getting pampered...n his "Oye puttar..tu jaldi theek ho jayegi .." really worked..
I soon found myself laughing...

Seriously it's not only the medicines that work..Love has a strange healing power...

Musings...

I wish I could weave together the words that could most aptly say what you mean to me.
But I am so inept.Never before have I been so brutally confronted with this paucity of mine..
But then to lament...I can't..
Coz you mean..so much more than words can ever say...

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I stab my heart ..I make it bleed
The pain is all I need
To go on

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My paper,pen,inspiration,
I owe u these and more..

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I grope for words in the darkness
And weave a dream
To wake up again to ur silence
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The cutest things...

I hope I never grow too old or too tired to appreciate an infant's toothless grin..

I am crazy about kids and some of my fondest memories are associated with them..

I remember on my birthday last year when I was in Pizza Hut,Sector 18 ,Noida with my friends..
I was dancing on a chair ( abiding by the traditions of Pizza Hut)
a little boy tugged at my jeans when I had undergone the torture..
when I got down-he kissed me on my cheeks and gave me a red rose..
That was probably one of the best birthday gifts I ever had... :)

And another time ..at Mc Donald's ,Sector 15..I had gone for a quick grub after class with a friend..
a little girl dressed in a yellow frilly frock came with her mother..with her hair tied in two ponies..in yellow ribbons.. falling in soft curls..somehow she reminded of me when I was a kid..

She looked so adorable..I couldn't resist her..I asked her mother if I could touch her
Sitting next to her.. as gently as I could ran my fingers on her soft cheeks..
She did the same!!
With her little hands ..
That felt like Heaven!

Another cute kid I saw in a sweet shop..hardly able to walk by herself..she ambled ...out of the shop..to explore the world on her own
Thank God I was looking ..coz her parents lost track where she was ..busy purchasing something..I showed them the way she went..
They thanked me..but I wanted to thank them for having begotted such an angel..
When outside ...I found her showing her Dad..another kid abt her age..or maybe older
She pointed at him and said
Babby!
I just wanted to take her home with me..well..I did ..clicked a pic of hers..N I still have it..

But the best one was probably the time when I was in a party n had just finished singing a song..
Barely 3 years old..he clapped...
The best applause I ever had..

Being "me"

It's like waking up to a new dawn after a beautiful dream..No regrets.No complaints.
Just a feel good feeling after it's over...& the golden rays of sun kissing your eyes-reluctant to wake up..

I knew it was too good to last too long...
I always knew I 'm too independent to be in a relation...& I loved him to much to be myself...

If you are being rational and being in love-you are not in love at all...

I could have become amorphous in his hands & let him mould me..
I could have been somebody else..

But never before have I felt a stronger urge to be "me"

What life holds ahead-I do not know.
Somewhere while treading on untreaded path -somehow while trying to invent my destiny I might come across him again-waiting for me..

But until then I can't afford the luxury of romance-this is my relation-& I'm not going to disgrace it by being a nobody.

I'll wait...till I"ve become "ME"