Win some, lose some

So much to write..and so little time now:(
Now that I have already started working 10 hrs a day..I think I will set targets for my blogging too..

I would like to write about:
#1 My favourite book
#2 My greatest asset

Coming soon..on a computer screen(or a mobile screen..if u have GPRS activated) near u... :D

Dilli ki garmi...

Aaaaaaaaaaghh!!

The happy days are gone..
Silopher Kabir might dance to the tunes of "Dilli ki saardi"and awe an audience with her moves on a winter night in Mumbai..or Dubai..(or even Jhumri talaiya for all I care)

I want her to try that out on a hot sunny day in Delhi..and the alternate form of it...
She will see all love sublimate in the heat..

Suddenly all ACs in GK M-Block Market conspire to stop being effective... it's an added onus to go shopping..even when u know it's a grave situation... your best friend is going to meet his parents..and she can't decide what to wear...

After hours of R&D and giggling fits and depressions in the trial rooms and otherwise ..you decide unanimously what she can/might/will (dunno yet) wear...

Aah..it's so nice to see someone smile...

Coming back to the @#$%*&!! heat ( my vocab falls short)

U wonder why there isn't even a small little cloud in the sky... when it is raining cats and dogs somewhere ..in India

It's like that poem...where the poet asks if u could lend a piece of cloud from Cherrapunji to the heart of Gobi and Sahara desert...

(refer: Premendra Mitra:
"Cherrapunji theke ek tukro meghh dhaar ditey paro ..Gobi Saharar bukey?" )


I have always seen life in extremes...
Ecstasy or Despair
Extreme popularity or gnawing solitude...

I guess I always believed in the duality of existence...

But then- everything isn't just black or white...there is a certain shade called grey..there something called fuzzy logic..

And life is so much more than what is apparent.
We , as human beings are so short sighted..that we can't see beyond the obvious...

There I go again...giving all gyaan..enough to make a patient of Insomnia yawn in 10 secs (quite an achievement! )

But this is my curse..this is my boon...

I think tooooooooo much..

And while I saw that street urchin...playing with a rope his mom uses to dry clothes...his sitting on it and using it as a swing while the dirty clothes dangled and kissed the dusty road..
He was blissfully unaware of what tomorrow might hold for him..

Least bothered if he should take CAT next year coz the way things are going is hardly encouraging for a general candidate..or he should gather work- ex before he can take GMAT...

I wondered what it takes to be happy...

But for the time being...I am happy venting my frustration on the summer heat...

@#$%&*!?!*&%$#@

A new page in my diary...

It has been some time since I last scribbled in this space...
As a matter of fact, I had even considered giving up blogging for good..

But old habits die hard..and thank God for that!

Well... a few things have changed during this short while..and a few things haven't...
I landed myself with a job when I was least expecting it...(there were people with Masters in Mass Comm with 5 years of experience- and I am only a fresher with a graduate degree in Biotech)

I guess the subjective paper where I had to write an essay got me through..
But let me get back to my new office...my work basically consists of indexing and abstracting text...the work is interesting, with the icing on the cake that I get to read some research papers which are totally awesome...

Life is more disciplined now.I try to sleep before 2 AM..coz my log in time is 9:30 AM...

I am yet to decide if I want to apply to my old school for my MBA degree coz I couldn't convert the calls I wanted to..and didn't fill the forms of a few outstation B-schools( Stupid? Yeah I know...but I have no regrets in life..)

The day inevitably begins with my trying to hold on to my pillow a little longer..
I never hated my cell so much before..I put the alarm the previous night and I repent it every following morning

A hurried bath( no time for the usual 1-hr long ablutions in the morning)..a quick breakfast and I am on my way to office with my eyes half closed and face still puffy...
I manage to register at 9:28 AM and by the time I take my seat in front of my system I wonder if I am still dreaming or actually at office..but when I open my batch files and see the work that has been allocated to me I realise..aaah ..no..I am a grown up lady now.. and this is reality

Rest of the day is pure bliss....

When it is work..it is work..with nothing else in my mind..

Except for the occasional distraction from a funny colleague who has a habit of making faces at everyone..
He is a real chatterbox and gives me a headache except at lunch time when his mouth is full.

There is a surprisingly quiet lady in my project( polarly opposite to what he is) and I can count and say the number of times I actually heard her voice..everytime only to reply when I had asked her something..

There is a typical mechanical guy ( I nicked him "Bullet" for his efficiency) who works like a maniac and takes more sutta breaks than anyone else on the floor..

I am the youngest in my project and I don't know if it works against or for me..

One thing I was totally ecstasic about yesterday ..I got to abstract a file for the first time and it was live!
Let me explain..it's my training period and I am supposed to get dummy files..live ones are those which go to the client..
A senior guy observed "I haven't got one yet...how come u got them?..U must have been really good at it in the test!"

I smiled and thought..how come someone who's as good at abstracting texts is equally poor in getting the essence of life..

I guess everyone else played by the rules of the game..Only I made assumptions..

But then..there are no regrets in life..only lessons...
:)

P.S
An update ( 23rd April.2006)

Got a new project beginning from tomorrow..and I am really excited about it..
It's tougher than what we have been doing till now..with a much more expanded thesaurus and complicated system tools..
Four people have been selected for it...
(needless to mention..I am the only trainee in it)

I am loving it...

The pressure is immense..
But I am getting paid for what I love doing best..reading and comphrehending...
Aah..!!

I had no idea office could be so much fun!!
The TM is really helpful ..and the ambience conducive for work..

and yeah..there was this incident when for the second time some female walked up to my desk and asked how I maintain my coiffure..
Had to give her a long list to of "to do"

-Use L'oreal Absolute repair shampoo and conditioner..
-Alternate it with Ultra Doux Olive oil and lemon shampoo + conditioner..
-Get a head massage done at least once a week
-and use a serum if u have straight hair..for extra sheen

LOL..

Hope I didn't scare her.. :D

Life is..

Life is like a cartoon network..more like a TOM n JERRY show..u r the stupid Tom chasing happiness(Jerry)..and everytime u think u have got it..it eludes u..

(For heaven's sake..this isn't a quote!! It's my own realisation..n don't u dare plagiarise it..copyrights reserved by Aparna Kar :X)

A Stranger in the town

How does it feel to be in a place you have been years ago?
It's like meeting an acquaintance u knew long back..it's like..u have to re-introduce urself to that person/place again...
Sense the sights, smell, temperature..in a new way...
It's like adjusting urself to a place u called home years ago

An hour's drive in the early morning of 9th March from Dum Dum airport to Pretoria street gave me an eerie feeling..

The smell was so unfamiliar..the humidity so foreign that I had to ask myself.....Did I really ever belong to this place?
Born a Bengali,brought up in North East ..and having spent my growing years in Delhi & NCR..I often wondered...Where's my home?

To that ..once my Dad had replied..."The whole world is your abode...where u can make ur home..that's where u belong to..."

Beating the blues...

Life sucks when u wait the whole day to meet someone - and he says he can't make it..coz he has other commitments...

After a series of emotional crests and troughs u decide u had enough ..when ur Dad enacts how u were shown dancing on the TV (Aaj Tak Video footage of Kritva-IMI(International Management Institute) fest)

Ur Bro drags u for an outing..
U go to Shoppers' Stop and make good use of ur membership card and bad use of ur Dad's hard earned money..
But fortunately retail therapy always works..
Suddenly ur Debit/Credit card refuses to get processed..and u wonder aloud.."How wrong can a day go???..One single day?"

And then the guy at the counter asks u how/where u got ur nail art done..u explain to him..
IMPULSE..GK M-Block Market..n u feel the day isn't so bad...after all

and then u see a baby gal in a pink frock
and an infant in his peram..
and a li'l old lady thanks u coz u helped open a door for her..
and a T-shirt with the slogan
"Life becomes a lot more interesting when u make MISTAKES"
And u smile to urself...

What the F***!!
I don't need anyone else to be happy..my happiness is an independent variable.
An intrinsic factor..it comes from within...

I wonder, how can someone who is as practial and mature most of the times
(at least most of my friends think so..otherwise I wouldn't have to play an agony aunt ...a thankless job anyways..) can make a complete jack ass of myself on certain occasions...!!!???


Maybe...I need to stop watching those stupid romantic comedies
(What the hell I watched Serendipity on Zee studio today!! And wept..Shit! Shittt!! SHITTT!!!)

It's my life!!

Someone recently remarked I appear to be a character from some novel..living in a far-off castle...who loves to play with puppies and wants only flowers as gifts..
Maybe I am not grounded..but surely I am not that fantastic!!
I wouldn't have existed in real life then!!!

But what the hell !
Who cares!!
And even if I do...who cares that I care?

Here I am ..having the time of my life -playing Movie Crosswords and Dumb Charades @ Kritva..

And pronouncing my fav F word a no.of times enough to make my Mom wash my mouth if she heard it..

I am happy..I am being myself..wild..crazy..fun..


I have never tried to be someone else in my life...
not only coz I think it's cowardly..but also coz I think it's much more convenient to be myself...


Love me or hate me...but only coz I am ME...

And if u think U want to change me... only to suit ur whim..then..I am terribly sorry..I can change for NO ONE.

It's not vanity..just simple logic
If I cease to be me...I will cease to exist..

and u wud actually be liking someone else...not ME


So next time u think something is not right ..or something needs to be rectified..just let me know..don't try to dictate..coz it's my LIFE!!!