The art of receiving

We always hear how unconditionally we should give. But we seldom dwell on the art of receiving. Here is a story for you...

A long time ago, a very talented mathematician and navigator decided that he wanted to go on an expedition to discover new trade routes via the ocean. He picked the best men he knew, asked for the blessings of his King and started out with a fleet of four ships towards the southern seas. They braved storms and diseases to reach land.

Now, the king of new land was a greedy one. As soon as he heard about the arrival of a foreign fleet, he decided to welcome them with great fanfare in the hopes that they bore gold and precious stones as gifts.

The expedition had very little resources left.  But the captain offered the king four cloaks of the finest velvet, a barrel full of honey, and twelve branches of the most beautiful coral. The meagre offering displeased the king, and he asked the men to pay customs duties in gold and silver like other traders or to leave the land by dawn.

Disappointed, the ships returned to sea. They were too tired to travel all the way back home, so they stopped by a nearby port. Here, the people were gracious. They fed the sailors and offered them fresh water.

On the first night of their stay, the captain discovered that the land was fertile, and the people grew spices in their fields. They had a surplus of salt and labor. He recruited 12 men from the nearest village and started his voyage back home. Their king received the news with great delight and ordered new fleets to embark on the newly discovered trade route for spices,  which until then, was  the monopoly of the Republic of Venice.

Business in the guest town flourished as they exported their spices and learned new skills from their visitors. The explorer took out his charts to travel to new territories again.

1. Not every gift needs to be gold and silver. It can be new ties, sharing of knowledge etc.
2. We should always receive gracefully. The giver might have been through a lot to get it.
3. Instead of immediate gains, we should open ourselves to the  bigger picture.

Bigg Boss 8

First, let us observe a minute of silence for our dearly departed discernment that has left us for good. Why else would we watch this sadism in the name of entertainment? Those who don't watch Bigg Boss, good for you. You save more than 100 hours of your life every season which you can use to complete a course, read good books, watch quality movies or do some community work.

The appeal in reality shows like BB is probably because humans are natural voyeurs. When they are bored, they will take a pair of binoculars and peek into the houses of neighbors like James Stewart of Rear Window. In the absence of that opportunity, we will gratify ourselves by watching strangers living in a house. A housemate brushing teeth on the live feed is entertainment after all.

I don't blame the contestants for the fights. The conditions are stressful. Very little comfort, restrictions on sleep after physical strain, limited rations and the simulated prison environment is enough to drive anyone crazy. It is a miracle that they don't turn cannibals to eliminate competition. Because the way they behave on the show makes you wonder why are they so desperate for footage. What good has Bigg Boss done to any of the previous winners, anyways? Shouldn't the platform be used to showcase your real talent and act like normal human beings? Oh wait, the channel can not profit from 'normal' people. So they incentivize arguments, no matter how unnecessary. How do you solve your problems in real life? By threatening people, fighting and pushing others away, of course! What else would civilized people do?

The past seasons had their share of negative characters, but this season has a particularly despicable lot. I don't understand why would someone waste their money on votes if they don't like anyone. The channel should focus on making the characters likable instead of goading them to dogfights. Then there is the cliche of contrived romance. We know Katniss and Peeta of Hunger Games, we know how it works. Even it is not scripted, it is a desperate attempt to survive in the show.

Now, there is a new wave in the house. ' Don't touch me' during tasks. How the hell are tasks supposed to happen?  Maybe they should have separate tasks for men and women. Real women don't use the woman card for unfair advantage.

So far, Preetam seems like the only sane person in the house, but he gives up on tasks too easily. And the ones who 'think' they are doing the task get unnecessarily aggressive so much so that you wish you could fast forward to where real conversations happen. Some humor, something creative, even tips on work out or fashion. Who am I kidding? I am not even the target audience of that show. However, the lower TRPs (compared to previous seasons) suggest that my response is representative of a larger pool of audience.

My appeal to the channel and contestants: Get creative, not aggressive. Make the luxury budget tasks more interesting. Make captaincy a challenge with a task between the nominees. Punish the rule breakers severely.  As a viewer, I demand more value for my time. 

How are you?

When I first came to US, and the employees at the local supermarket  (Shaw's) checkout asked me, 'Hey! How are you?', I thought they meant it. I was lonely during my first semester in Boston, didn't have many friends and even the practiced greetings at a business transaction made me feel grateful for the chance at human interaction. Hence, I always replied with a smile, said I am fine (no matter how dog-tired) and asked how the other person was.

Then I saw them do it to other customers and felt jealous. I wasn't a special case. They asked it out of habit. Some of the customers did not even respond. However, I had my favorites at the checkout, like Rosie, whose aisle would be the one I preferred to check out from even if it meant waiting in a longer queue. When I  didn't see her for some days, I got worried. After a few weeks, she was back and I enquired about her well being. She said that she had been ill. She looked tired and her usual cheerfulness was missing. On my next visit, I bought her some flowers, chocolates and a thank-you card. She was pleasantly surprised and thanked me profusely. The store manager saw what happened and told the others about it. The other employers smiled at me as I walked away. I wondered if she would miss me if one fine day I did not show up anymore. 

A few days later, I fell sick and I kept to my room. When I finally recovered, I went out to get some salmon at the same store. The guy at the seafood counter remembered me: 'Haven't seen you in a while, were you away?', he asked.

My takeaway:

1. Not everybody who asks you 'How are you' wants to know.

2. If you want to do something impulsive for someone, do it. Show your affection.

3. Someone will always miss you. 

Marketers : What we really do

শারদ শুভেচ্ছা ও অভিনন্দন

                                                             

Autumn greetings to you and your family.


Compering for Prabasi Durga Puja 2014

The P word

I am grateful that I grew up in a house where it wasn't a taboo to talk about periods. I wasn't allowed into the prayer room by my mother as it is customary in most Hindu homes. But I didn't have to sleep on the floor or do other crazy things that some people say they had to do when Aunt Flo came for a visit.

However, my first educational crash course about preparing for the changes in my body was not from my mother. It was from the girl I sat next to in Class VI. I was 13 and of age, and she told me not to be scared when 'it' happened to me. We had a chapter on human reproductive system in 'We are the World' in Class VII Moral Science. A year too late.

A couple of months ago, I saw a girl getting death threats on social media because she wrote about her 'feelings' during that time of the month. Her post was not what I would consider 'tasteful', the language more provocative than was necessary, but death threats? A whole nation was obsessed with examining her character, propositioning her, and lashing out at people who supported her freedom to express anyway she chose to on her timeline.

The evasion around a mundane body function might seem illogical to some, but even I made sure that I let SG read this post first before publishing it. Why am I writing this then?

Last Tuesday, my father told me that my mother had some spotting even after her menopause. SG looked up the internet and we saw possibilities from polyps to endometrial cancer. I was hysterical and we insisted that they visited the doctor at once. One of my paternal aunts, whom we always turn to for medical advice, had the same suggestion. It was 17th September, Viswakarma Puja. Most doctors were not practicing from home. Even though, Lord Viswakarma is the Principal Architect of the Universe and the divine engineer, his blessings are sought by medical equipment as well. A family friend made some jugad and requested a doctor to check on her nevertheless.

The doctor diagnosed a tumor in her uterus and recommended immediate surgery. He wanted it done on Friday. But my mom said that she had some work to take care of at her school first. She was admitted on Monday morning, operated  upon on Tuesday and will be going home today (Friday in India). The support of friends and family has been overwhelming.

Things could have been worse, had we not talked about it. It could have been malignant. My MIL told me about a woman whose tumor grew to 9 pounds before she was diagnosed. Uterine fibroids and endometriosis are quite prevalent gynecological disorders and the most common reasons for hysterectomy. A lot of women don't talk about it, not among themselves, not even to their daughters. I don't advocate status updates about premenstrual cramps every month, but let us have the freedom to talk about our bodies, at least, in clinical terms.

Hagiography by the illogical Indian

I had great respect for a certain Indian website until it associated the concept of patriotism with denouncement of U.S. citizenship. The post informed us of a certain individual who had allegedly said that his Indian citizenship is more important than anything else (his junior scientist job offer at NASA). The site almost conferred sainthood upon him for a personal decision (if true) that can be driven by several factors. By all means, promote nationalism because we need to feel an extreme sense of superiority over other nations to feel proud of our country. Like a spoiled brat who needs to be constantly told how wonderful he is or else he throws a tantrum.

Firstly, you don't need to have a U.S. citizenship to work for NASA. More than 50% of employees at NASA are contractors who work on other visas, and that include non-U.S citizens like Europeans, Japanese, etc. You will need a citizenship only if you have to serve as a civil servant (which also comes with a lot of restrictions).

Furthermore, the site seemed to imply that anyone who leaves India to pursue science or other careers is unpatriotic. Strive to be a global citizen and don't be a victim of jingoism.  Personally, I know a lot of NASA employees of Indian origin collaborating with India. Those collaborations open new frontiers to students in virtual classrooms, researcher in labs, and even farmers in the fields.

Also, there is a common misconception that NASA is all about space. NASA has programs that monitor global warming, forest cover, etc. Google 'NASA earth science ' for examples.

Update: The post has been taken down following several protests, including one which rightly asked,  'why doesn't he work for ISRO if he is so patriotic?' Especially when it is on the verge of making space history with Magalyaan.

Seems like the whole thing was a big scam. Read here.