Learn to enjoy your own company

I have been traveling on my own since I was 18. Across states, countries, and continents. And I have never faced any major issues. In fact, most of the times, strangers have been kind to me.

I remember a particular incident when I was flying to US for the first time. I had a stopover at Newark Airport where I had to take a tram line to another terminal for my flight to Boston. The tram started with a jolt and I almost fell over. I caught the shoulder of an elderly African American man standing next to me. He was about my father’s age and he smiled kindly as he helped me find my feet. Most of the other folks in the crowd laughed in good humor too.

I was a little embarrassed because this was new to me and I was not prepared for it. Life has offered so many novel experiences. Some pleasant and some not so pleasant. But I almost always had help. Even when I was not looking for it. Sometimes, all you have to do is ask before you tumble.

Another thing I want to mention in my rambling today (and I can not stress it enough). Our spouses can not give attention to us 24/7. They have their jobs and other commitments. We have to find ways to enjoy our own company. I like to read, write, or attend Lit events when I can. Occasionally, I go to a cafe or my favorite bar. Sometimes, to a library or for shopping. There is no reason why you should stop going out if your husband can’t accompany you. My husband definitely doesn’t put that imposition on me. He actually likes it when I go out with my friends and enjoy myself.

He will always ask when I get back,’Did my baby have fun?’

I will mostly say,’ Yes’ with a big smile. Or crib about something I didn’t like. But there will always be a story to share at the end of the day. I think that the communication is the key to the trust he has in me. When we start hiding things from each other, it will be the day when I will start to worry. And that will be the day when I will start feeling really lonely.

Black/Kuro

Kuro means 'black' in Japanese

Us, Together

There are a thousand ways we fit perfectly 

Like the way your lips feel on my lips,

When you hold my hands,

When I rest my head on your chest.

When you can tell what is going on in my mind;

When I know exactly what you are talking about 

Even before you say it.

You intertwined with me -

And the fireworks that happen.

Even after a thousand times

It feels new every single time.

You waking up to feel my side of the bed 

With your hand to see if I am still beside you.

We walked through hellfire, my love,

And came out unscathed.

It has made us fearless.

We are so clear of the path ahead-

We are meant to be together.

The symphony we create is divine!

Everything else is just background noise.

In love with the sea

The sea is a big tease
It sends out its waves to touch me

I think it wants to play
But it is just its nature to reach out

It wants to embrace the land
I am just in the way.

Nevertheless, I stay on.
Welcoming the rushing waves to my bosom.

Letting it hit me as hard as it wants.
I stay on till I start smelling of the sea.

Exhausted,
Fearing that another embrace could drown me-

Slowly, with unsure steps
I head back to where I sleep.

Someone else takes my place.
And she plays with the same belief.

‘You are mine,’ she chants like me.
I smile as I walk away.

The sea is like a promiscuous lover-
Who gifts you with only heartbreaks.

The beauty of some relationships is that
they do not last.
Because if they did,
They would have killed you.

Ad lucem

Exfoliate your identity.
It is not set in stone.
You can wear it or tear it out into a crumpled mess
Along with other identities that didn’t quite fit you.

Your body, gender, set of beliefs and disbeliefs,
Your most characteristic dogma-
Nothing is truly you.

You die a different person
Than who you were born as.
From helpless to capable.
From darkness to eternal light.

A fish tank

(Dedicated to all those who are looking for a fresh start)

We are all living in our self-constructed echo chambers.
Where our opinions reinforce our prejudices.
Step back for a moment.
Look at the vivarium.
On a sunny day, the edges glisten.

Break free from this fish tank reality
Of skewed perceptions and semi natural existence.
Free yourself from all pre-existing notions.
Things that define you-
Adjectives earned and awarded.

Let the universe come to you.
Wash you to a different shore of unbound reality. Sans glass boundaries.
Give up the false anchors that tie you down.
Swim in the ocean
Not in a glass tank.

A book of scars - 1

Freewriting about pain and betrayal

Don’t make me say it out loud
Because I know
You won’t hear it through the noise.

Read my lips, hear my heartbeat
Across a room full of strangers.
Does it sound familiar?
Do you remember the promises you made?

A mind is a tricky place.
You remember the things you want to.
And conveniently forget the rest.

But I remember-
Every lie you have ever told me.
Every lie I ever believed in
With every inch of my body.

Like a python coils
And squeezes its prey to death,
You drove the life out of me.

How do you live devoid of faith?
Stripped of the ability
To ever trust another human being?

People call me heartbroken
But my friends know better-
There was nothing left to be broken.

Inch by inch,
It decayed beneath my ribs-
One lie at a time.