Words

"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said, in a rather scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less."

"The question is," said Alice, "whether you can make words mean so many different things."

--- from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland [1865] by Lewis Carroll (Charles Lutwidge Dodgson)

T-shirt slogan contest:

Design 1: Aparna Kar©
Even before I am born, I will be killed....
Even before my mother hears me cry, it will be quietened
Maybe because I am too tiny to be significant. Or maybe because I am more of a daughter to them than a child.

Stop sex determination and female foeticide
Save the girl child

Design 2 by Saikat Bose

Script your own slogans and post as comments. While you are allowed to post your fav slogans on more general topics, the contest is only for the ones with a social message.

After a considerable number of entries, the winner will be decided by a poll .

Subho Naboborsho

Uthchhe prabhat-robi, 

Ankche sonar chhobi 

Tumi keno felo tate chhaya! 

Barek je chole jay, 

Tare to keho na chay 

Tabu tar keno eto maya! 

উঠছে প্রভাত রবি,

আঁকছে সোনার ছবি 

তুমি কেন ফেলো তাতে ছায়া!

বারেক যে চলে যায় 

তারে তো কেহ না চায় 

তবু তার কেন এত মায়া!

 ( which, when grossly put, means: "The rising sun is painting golden pictures, why are you casting a shadow on it? That which is bygone, no one wants - but why is then the pining for it?" The Bengali New Year commences. 

Bangabdo 1414. 

When was the last time I saw a Bengali date and year? 

 My diary entry reads... 

 Sei Pujabarshiki Anondomelay dekheychilam sheshbaar Bangla shon o tarikh; 

erpor jeno Bangaliana ta kothay hariye gelo.. 

Onno desh, onno bhaasha, onno sonskriti- ba hoyto ekhaane-e khujey peyechii niye k- ae hariye jaoar modhye.... 

সেই পূজাবার্ষিকী আনন্দমেলা দেখেছিলাম শেষবার বাংলা সন ও তারিখ I

এরপর যেন  বাঙালিয়ানা কোথায় হারিয়ে গেছে I

অন্য দেশ অন্য ভাষা অন্য সংস্কৃতি বা হয়তো এখানেই খুজে পেয়েছি নিজেকে - এই হারিয়ে যাওয়ার মধ্যে I

 ( I last saw a Bengali date and year in the annual Puja edition of Anondomela.. then the Bangalitvo was lost somewhere... Another land, another language, another culture- or maybe- I found myself here- in this getting lost...)

A suitable girl

Khushwant Singh once said: When you want to see the worst examples of urban prejudices- where do you turn to? The matrimonial ads columns!

A friend of mine recently voiced the same concern and said that he was unlike the prejudiced Indian males and had very few expectations from his life partner. He even helped me script a matrimonial ad which I promised to put up in my blog, which , according to him has viewers from all over the world. (I could have denied it but ..unfortunately he knows the many uses of site meter)
So here it is:

Wanted Bride.
Young, slim, fair and extremely beautiful. Highly educated. Should earn in six figures but should not mind giving away her salary to husband on the day of pay. Should have good mix of Eastern and Western values. Must enjoy cooking Indian food. Must have a great sense of humor (read:be amused by my poor jokes). But should not laugh too loudly. We will measure the length of her smile with a tape and tell her the perfect fits for respective occasions- so don't worry about it.
Should have impeccable social etiquette.Should have an ear for Indian Classical music. Should be an exponent in Bhajan-kirtaan.
Should be back before 8 pm everyday. Should not complain when asked to do domestic work after long office hours because we plan to get rid of the maid after I get married. Should not mind if the decision to have a child is unilateral, i.e, mine. Should not make it a ground to file for divorce.
...And if at all we settle for an innocent divorce, should not ask for alimony.

Here's a pic of my friend while heading for office.

Don't mind the hooves and horns. Despite the misleading appearance, he's a very gentle soul.
For close ups please mail to mrtaurus@hotbull.com

(LINK: Case of Samar Ghosh vs Jaya Ghosh,Mental cruelty to spouse, Supreme Court )

The Pursuit of HappYness

Ever wondered why happiness is spelled with an "I" and not a "Y"? I guess it's when a "WHY" comes in and you begin to doubt yourself and others that it gets diluted, adulterated. And that which could be perfect bliss grows unhealthily in the shadows of your uncertainty.
What is perfect happiness then? And how can it be achieved? ( Those who think it can NOT be achieved may stop reading here. Throw your WHYs out of the window before proceeding further )

I'd like to refer what the noted author and the CEO of ASI Consulting Group, Subir Chowdhury said in an interview to Marshall Goldsmith ( the author of What Got You Here Won't Get You There- recently listed as America's best-selling business book in The Wall Street Journal. ): " ...We should all begin our day with the understanding that "quality is my business. We should all ask the question, "What can I do to improve the quality of my work?" We shouldn't only look at the present. We should look to our future and challenge ourselves by asking, "What can I do to improve the quality of my career?"

The obvious question that follows is: What are the factors that usually effect our quality of life?
Health, wealth and love are the most highly voted ones.
Which is the most important to you and why? The answers may vary. But my take is- you need all the three to have a balanced life.

Now let us try and analyze why some people who have the potential to be "perfectly happy" are yet not; for some apparently invisible reasons. Maybe eliminating the cause of their unhappiness could make them happy. Maybe not. But we can give it a shot.

A is a woman in her early twenties. She has a pleasant disposition and bright career prospects. She is impassioned about her work and her secondary career which has given her public recognition as well. She should have nothing to complain. But...

B is a Masters student in an elite US University. He has been offered an internship with a wage of 70$ per-hour for 10 weeks. He is not happy . He wants to negotiate with the concerned firm to increase the hourly wage.

C is an MBA graduate from one of the IIMs. He switched jobs to join a company with a better market presence. But he's finding it difficult to carve a niche for himself like he could in his previous company or do something substantial-according to his standard of skills-in his view. Result: frustration.

We acquire skills to add values to our careers, cultivate hobbies to utilize our leisure, try to choose the perfect mate to provide us with an emotional anchor. But in our pursuit to earn a living, are we forgetting to live?

Tell me what you think are the possible solutions for A, B and C to improve their quality of lives.
I had enough of acting the agony aunt myself.

Trivia: the federal minimum wage rate is currently $5.15 per-hour. Many states enact higher minimum wages than that established by the government and hourly wage could be as high as $9 per-hour, depending upon the skill requirement of the job

The Namesake

I am yet to read the novel by Jhumpa Lahiri, but I am sure Mira Nair has done all the justice she could. The array of emotions one experiences while watching the movie can be evinced by the gasps of laughter and stifled cries in the hall. I don't know if first novels can be made into movies this great ( The Namesake was written after Jhumpa's Pulitzer Prize-winning short story collection Interpreter of Maladies). But Mira Nair has done it.

>>> Spoiler warning <<<
The opening shot is of Ashoke Ganguli (Irrfan Khan) , then a student of Calcutta University, traveling in a train destined for Jamshedpur, India. He was reading the collected short stories by his favorite Russian author Nikolai Gogol. A certain Mr. Ghosh makes acquaintance with him during the journey and urges him to "Go, See the world" when the train meets with an accident.
Scene II depicts Ashoke lying in a hospital bed, looking out of the window dreamily, with his mother attending upon him. This could as well be flagged as the turning point of Ashoke's life.
The story follows to a few years later where he is doing his Ph.D in Fiber Optics in the US. He comes to India and is arranged to meet Ashima (Tabu) and their wedding is fixed. The would be father-in-law asks her if she 'd be able to manage living in the US- it's going to be cold and lonely. Ashima replies quite simply- Uni thaakben na? ( Won't he be there ?). As if it were enough for her to leave her family behind to begin a new life in a strange country.
They begin their life in a small apartment where they try to adjust to each other and the world around them.

When their first child- a son is born and the issuing of a birth certificate requires a name to be given to the child, the Gangulis decide to give him the daak naam (=pet name) Gogol ( after Ashok' s favorite author) until his bhalo naam (=good/official name) is decided upon by his grandmother who lives in India,
thus planting the seeds of conflicts that arises in the protagonist's mind later. When he is 4 and goes to school, he wishes to be known as "Gogol" and not Nikhil Ganguli.
When Ashima complains, Ashoke reasons- America is a free country. Here the kids decide. Even if he decides to be called "Jimmy", there's nothing much we can do.

On his graduation day, Gogol (Kal Penn)shares an anecdote with his friends how his name "Gogol Ganguli" has become an impediment to the materialization of his desires.

Here's the namokoroner sarthokota (significance of the title). A person's name is his identity. His connection with his roots- his past and the very foundation of his future. It tells us who he is and where he comes from. And maybe to some extent- where he is going to be.

Gogol faces difficulties in accepting his pet name and now sees his good name Nikhil as a better alternative which can be compressed to "Nick".
A visit to the Taj Mahal and the witnessing of its splendor inspires him to become an architect. While he is studying for it, he befriends Maxine whom he invites over to meet his parents. His parents reservations about holding hands or even sharing a kiss keeps him guarded while they are visiting them. Maxine greets Ashima warmly, kissing her on the cheeks and calling her by her first name. (not really acceptable in Bengali culture). The subtle change on Tabu's crestfallen face is the mark of a mature actress.
On their way to purchase ice-cream, Ashoke recounts how he had survived the train accident by clutching at the pages of Nikolai's book, a shocked Gogol asks his father-: "Do I remind you of that night?!"
Ashoke replies- No! No! Everyday after that has been a gift.
And he understands- at least a bit of the sentiment his father had when naming their son.

Ashoke dies in Cleveland hospital after a massive heart-attack when Gogol is spending the weekend with his girlfriend. When he gets to Ohio to identify his father's body, he gets his head shaved( customary after bereavement). Ashima sees his son at the airport, caresses his bald head while she holds him in an embrace and says - Er dorkar chhilo na Baba.(It was not necessary Son ) Gogol replies - Aamar iccha korlo Ma ( I wanted to, Mother)
Thus begins a new chapter in his life. His journey towards finding himself. The differences between him and Maxine makes them separate out. When Ashima's suggestion to make up with her doesn't seem to work, she tries to make him meet a Bengali girl, Moushumi Majumber ( Zuliekha Robinson) who lives in New York. Going on a blind date, engineered by their mothers is a queer idea for both but they seem to have an instant liking for each other, despite the small hiccups Gogol had while trying to converse with her when they were kids. All he remembered about her was her saying in a heavily accented British tone - I detest American television.

They get married but not for long.
She has a French lover whom he discovers and she reasons- " I felt stuck like my Mom"
Her initial reflection:"Maybe it's not enough that we both are Bengalis. We are too different"- was probably a premonition.

Ashima decides to sell their house in the suburbia and return to India to continue her pursuit of Indian Classical Music (Vocal). But gets to know about Gogol's estrangement with his wife and wants to stay back but he says he can manage. He comes across the book his father had gifted him on his graduation day- The collected stories by Nikolai Gogol.
On its first page are written the words- "The man who gave you his name , from the man who gave you your name"

>>> Spoiler Warning Ends here <<<

Our generation has its own set of difficulties and frustrations- the Ivy League B-school that we want to make through or the 120k package that has just slipped by or the perfect mate who could have been but did not. Our parents had a world entirely different. Their responsibilities, their aspirations, their trying to come to terms with reality. How much of it do we understand? Or even acknowledge the efforts they had to put in to make us what we are today.
The closing statement -"To our parents- who gave us everything" totally did me in.

When a movie or a book or even a piece of music composition touches me, I make it a point to spread the word. I believe if I tell 10 people about it, at least 3 will bother to have a look and at least 1 will feel the way I felt. And the experience can be enriching... and sometimes enlightening.

Shoehorning a novel that spans across three decades into a 2 hour movie is hardly an enviable job. The time changes might not appear smooth sometimes. But show me a better adaptation and I'll believe that it could have been possibly done.

You have to watch "The Namesake" to know why it deserves raving reviews. Period.

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