Commencement 2010

Day 2

At 7 AM, Dad called me up to make sure I got up, even before my alarm set off. It is good to know that you can always count on some people. I buried my face in the pillow, trying to pull myself up, lying to my body clock about the confusion. A cold shower woke me completely and I dabbed some sunscreen on my face and other exposed areas, worked on my eyes with a liner and spread some light gloss on my lips.

I wore a brown, cotton, tube dress and black leggings, but I forgot the shoes. I had to come back for the brown pumps and toss the flip flops just in time to reach the ice rink at 8 AM. I met some graduate students already dressed in robes, but since I had the wrong one, I kept it neatly in the packet. Once I changed the hood from blue (College of Education) to brown (College of Management), I wore it inside the restroom. Every other girl was fussing or was getting fussed about with the cap and gown. I walked into the denoted area and met some former classmates and professors.

I was beginning to feel it in first person already. I was glad I had come over. It was worth it - every bit of it. We greeted each other and queued up behind the flag bearers of CM. The university took care to provide fresh water bottles to the students, and I felt it was very important not to get dehydrated. Last year, I had attended the graduation of a friend and it had rained. I was hoping it wouldn’t during the main ceremony as it took place in the open lawn, by the sea. But it was very warm and the hot sun dried up the insides of us. We kept taking as many pictures as we could.

Chancellor Motley introduced the commencement speaker- Victoria Reggie Kennedy, wife of late Senator Ted Kennedy. She is an attorney and the cofounder and trustee of the Edward M. Kennedy Institute for the United States Senate at UMB. She delivered the principal address to 3,366 graduates at the University of Massachusetts Boston's 42nd commencement ceremony, near the site where the institute will break ground this fall.

The John F Kennedy Presidential Library & Museum is right across the campus. The public wake of Edward Kennedy had taken place from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. on Friday, August 28, 2009 at the library's Smith Center, a maple-paneled room with a striking view of the Boston skyline. I remember watching the live broadcast of the eulogy delivered by President Obama on Saturday at The Basilica of Our Lady of Perpetual Help in Boston's Mission Hill section, while working out at the HP fitness center.

Senator John McCain shared his thoughts on his late colleague. I particularly remember the incident he recalled about two freshmen Senators getting personal over a political debate. The heat of the argument attracted the attention of senior members like Ted and John. ‘ A fight not joined was a fight not enjoyed’ had me in splits. It was enlightening to see politicians gathering at the funeral by putting aside their ideological differences. I recognized Senator John Kerry from Massachusetts, who had delivered the inaugural speech at Commencement 2009, UMB and 'Governator' Arnold Schwarzenegger of California, where I was planning to head soon.

Chancellor Motley acknowledged the contribution of the Kennedys to UMB, and Victoria insisted that the institute was not going to be a shrine to Ted or to the senate, but a seat of learning, a living, breathing, constantly growing and evolving center.

The 2010 John F. Kennedy Award for Academic Excellence recipient, the university’s highest honor for an undergraduate, was Thao Do, a Vietnamese immigrant whose goal is to devote her life to fight against the HIV/AIDS epidemic. The content of her speech drove me to tears as I envisioned her struggle and the scope education offered to many like her. ‘My name can be mispronounced but as people call my name, they have to acknowledge and accept me as who I am’ struck a chord.

Divorce in India

Irretrievable breakdown of marriage made ground for divorce

NEW DELHI: The cabinet Thursday approved an amendment to the Hindu Marriage Act to make irretrievable breakdown of marriage an additional ground for divorce.

"This would provide safeguards to parties who file petitions for grant of divorce by mutual consent but who wilfully avoid coming to court thus causing harassment to the other party," Information and Broadcasting Minister Ambika Soni told reporters after a cabinet meeting chaired by Prime Minister Manmohan Singh.

She said the amendment would be effected through the Marriage Laws (Amendment) Bill, 2010 which would be tabled in parliament.

-The Economic Times

Historic data suggests that India had the lowest divorce rates in the world 1.1% (11 in every 1,000), significantly lower than countries with 50% divorce rates. (Sadly, the CIA Worldbook also cited the infant mortality rate of India as 64.9 deaths/1,000 live births as opposed to 6.76 deaths/1,000 live births in US.)

Years ago, I saw two donkeys tied at their feet. I couldn't imagine how they grazed and how the waywardness of one couldn't effect the other. I was young, but resolute enough to pledge that I'll never let myself be in a relation like that.

Commencement 2010

Day 1, Thurs, June 3, 2010, Boston, Massachusetts
The cab driver was very enthusiastic to learn that I had flown from CA for my Graduation, and wished me luck with my life ahead. “You are young, you are smart. You might be a VP in 5 years.” ‘I hope so’ I said fondly. A professional degree is not the end; it is the beginning of a life-long commitment to learn. There will be things that I couldn’t have learned in a classroom. My teachers will not always be kind to me like my professors, but I hope I never stop. I long to stay hungry. Always.

It was around 5: 30 AM when I rang the bell of my former apartment, hoping my friends remembered my estimated time of arrival. A very sleepy DJ opened the doors for me and stood straight long enough for me to give him a bear hug. The apartment looked pretty much the same, a little messier, but I knew I had left it in good hands.

I hardly had any sleep on my red-eye flight, so I took out my snooze kit with eye mask and ear plugs, stuffed them on and went to bed in the warm, humid morning. Couple of hours later, I woke up and had some fruit salad for breakfast. One of my seniors was staying home to study for CFA Level 2 exam on Saturday. He offered to lend the apartment keys if I needed to go out.

Commencement 2010

I was not sure I'd take the walk this year for a number of reasons. But then Shweta lent me some of her enthusiasm and I saw the email for my nomination to the valedictorian speech, albeit past the deadline to apply. I called up the Graduate Studies and emailed the Dean, but to no avail. The student was already selected and they couldn't possibly accommodate two speakers. Later, I discovered that by the time the College of Management sub-ceremony started, every one was so hungry and tired, no one really cared what the student speaker was delivering. Yet, I believe I could have done a better job, and it was the best platform I could have voiced my acknowledgments. However, it is only fair, people who don't know what they want shouldn't get it.

Day 0, Wed, June 2, 2010, San Jose, California

SG came over to drop me to San Jose airport. My land lord was at home, so he couldn't say an elaborate goodbye like he had planned. My flight was at 9 PM PT. We started early to avoid the outgoing traffic from offices. When I picked my boarding pass from the kiosk, it was 7 :15 PM. We had some time to kill before I walked through the check-in counter, so we hung around in front of the queuing space. He wanted a coffee, and I wanted something to munch on. Unfortunately, Terminal A, where my Jet Blue was stationed, did not have any options. We kept hugging and kissing each other. He was sad that he wouldn't be there for the ceremony. Suddenly, I didn't feel like leaving him behind. Oh, how I wished I had decided earlier to travel to Boston ! We could have made our plans. His parents are visiting, I could have RSVPed with some guests. It was cheerless to write '0' guests on the invite. But like I believe, uncertainty shouldn't go unpunished.

Road Trip: California Route 1

'Big Sur is the California that men dreamed of years ago ... this is the face of the earth as the Creator intended it to look'

-Henry Miller

It is very hard to resist the lure of open roads once you have tasted the joy in marveling at Nature's creation and felt like a child again- wanting to live only for the present- when no promise, no land, no reward seems more alluring than what you have right in your hand. What a beautiful state of mind!

I had fallen in love with the glorious Pacific coastline the first time I flew over California. I could see the blue ocean juxtaposed with mountains from my flight window and I heard myself think: Someday, I will see it up close.

We started around 9 am,May 1, 2010, Saturday, knowing it would take only 2 hours to reach our destination. This time we drove south. We saw several private airplanes docked at South County Airport and a couple in the air. SG revowed to get his flying license someday, teasing that I should insist upon it by saying: 'It is time you got one', strangely similar to something I had said before he got his driving license. When we saw fruit stalls selling farm-grown cherries and garlic along the highway, a sense of deja vu filled us.

We stopped at the city of Gilroy to get a SD card for my camera; crossed Marina and Carmel-by-the-Sea. SG said he was reminded of Europe. I haven't seen Europe yet, except for connecting flights and the insides of airports at Brussels and Heathrow, so our reference points differed. I imagined Europe in the likeness of what I was seeing.

Big Sur

The treacherous road to Yosemite had established my faith in SG as an able driver on a previous trip. Hence, the precariously-perched cliff-top roads with their several twists and turns did not intimidate me. Driving a convertible top-down at high elevation, holding onto my favorite hat felt like I was in a Hollywood movie from the 60s. The warmth of the young summer sun and the cool sea breeze titillating my skin made me more alive than I had felt in years. I am home.

Our weekend trip to Yosemite National Park

'The world is a lot more than it appears from an open window.'

- A friend

On Wed, April 21, SG got his California State driving license, and last weekend he suggested: 'Let's go to Yosemite.' We checked Google maps, it showed 3 hrs 33 mins drive from our starting point. By Thursday, we confirmed the hotel bookings. It was at short notice. 'The Ahwahnee', 'Yosemite View Lodge' had no rooms available in Expedia. We finally narrowed it to 'Wawona Hotel'. It promised us the relaxing experience of a bygone era, with no Internet and telephone (or cellphone signal as we later discovered).

Early morning, on Sat, May 1, we set out with our 'Navigon: And the world is yours.' She can be a little silly at times, but helpful for a journey like this. I wondered aloud -' How did people travel before GPS was invented?' referring to the ease it provides. SG reminded, 'They had maps' and opined that GPS kills the joy of driving if you just blindly follow the directions.

We drove north towards the verdant mountains we can see from home. In an hour, we caught sight of some gigantic windmills along I-680 N. I thought of Don Quixote de la Mancha.

The exit onto I-580 E towards Stockton brought us to the valley of San Joaquin, greeting us with green orchards and farms. We made a mental note of getting some farm fresh strawberries on our way back. We clicked some pictures in an almond orchard and the friendly farmers waved and smiled at us every time we moved. Moving along CA-120 E/Yosemite Ave, we came across a vintage car rally.

Before long, we discovered the pleasant indulgence of several vista points offering amnesia-rendering scenic views. You know when nothing before or after the moment seems important, and your whole existence is sucked into the beauty of the surrounding elements, and you cease to be yourself, a separate entity and blend in with what you are sensing.. or something like that.

We entered the Yosemite National Park from the west gate. They charge $20 for private family autos for a 7 day permit. You can obtain a Yosemite pass for 12 months for $40. Soon, we saw snow on the ground, with bursts of sunshine between giant Sequoia trees. We stopped at a gas station to fill and stretch our legs when a mama bear with her two cubs decided to come out for a stroll.

I had never seen uncaged wild bears so close, so all I could do was scream : 'Sangy.. dekho bhalook' repeatedly to my companion. Some nearby tourists noticed my animation and pointed towards the woods where my gaze and camera lens were fixed. A lady told me that it was very unusual for them to walk down so low. I wondered if they had difficulty finding food above. There are very strict rules about feeding the wildlife.. and for a reason.

Each year bears are killed in Yosemite as a direct result of human carelessness and improper food storage. Driven by their powerful sense of smell, bears are drawn by odors of human food. Once they eat this food, they continue to seek it out from backpacks, picnic tables, ice chests and cars. Bears recognize grocery bags and scented articles such as soap, sunscreen, hair spray, perfume, even toothpaste.

You are required by federal regulations to store all your "food" properly throughout Yosemite National Park. You must have your food stored unless it's within arm's reach (so, don't go for a swim or take a nap while leaving food out).(nps.gov)Bear canisters and food lockers are available for use.

The vignette changed into a large area of forest fire remnants with some sad beauty. A very scary, winding Old Priest Grade tests the skills of a driver with sign boards cautioning against falling rocks. A couple of tunnels, a dancing brook with ice cold water and waterfalls punctuated our journey.

The first view of the majestic El Capitan and the Yosemite falls charmed us. The road led us to the valley where campers were cycling and rock climbers were practicing. The vertical granite monolith is a mecca for rock climbers all over the world. With over 800 trails, the mountains offer numerous opportunities for hikers. We pledged to backpack the next time we visit.

The Housekeeping camp with showers and laundromat facilities appeared on our left and we decided to visit The Village Store. Parking was more than impossible, I got down and browsed through the aisles for some dry food and a souvenir fridge magnet. Starving, I took a bite of a bear claw I had bought and made a delectable discovery. We had our lunch at Curry Village where squirrels and birds abound.

We hit the road again towards Wawona to reach our hotel -a picturesque assembly of white cottages. We checked in and the receptionist reminded us to take our food out of the car. I had hardly slept the night before, and the cozy bed of Moore's cottage seemed very inviting. The last thought on my mind was- I should be wearing a Victorian bustle dress to match the decor.

I woke up around 8 pm, took a shower and headed for dinner. The chef's special soup of the day was a savory melange of broccoli and cheese. I ordered a medium-rare flat iron steak with mashed potatoes and vegetables. SG ordered Turkey ravioli. The fresh baked bread and homemade butter made me close my eyes in palatable delight. I shut all other senses and focused on my taste buds, while the gustatory cells titillated my brain with gratifying impulses.

Satisfied, we walked out on to the lawn. I couldn't remember the last time I had seen so many stars all at once. I saw a shooting star, and the cool air of the night flirted with my hair while I lounged on a garden chair.

Emosanal Attyachaar

I have always been a very 'attached' person. This has caused me more unhappiness than I should have allowed.

Guess there is a reason why life happens in phases. You need to molt your past life like a snake skin and make room for new experiences. I should be grateful that I have what matters to me the most. It is time to grow up and beyond.

P.S. Thank God, there is more beauty in this world to heal you, than there is injury to infect you.