আমার নি:সঙ্গ নীল রুকস্যাক

This is one of my favorite poems by my father. It is about a blue rucksack that travels the world. But then there is more- in the end it says how humans are crueler than animals.

I traveled the world with those words, I imagined the red, blue, yellow, green prayer flags of Tawang monastery. I saw the eyes of a mother zebra, caught by a predator, imploring its child with silent screams to run away to safety. I see the room transform into a Sun temple of Peru with the narrative. It shall remain one of my favorite poems ever.

আমার নি:সঙ্গ নীল বাউন্ডুলে রুকস্যাক 

ভ্রমনে নিবেদিত প্রাণ। এই বুঝি লাফাবে পিঠে, 

মনে হয়, ঠেলা দিয়ে বাসাড়ে আমাকে

নিয়ে যাবে ভূপযর্টনে। বস্তুত প্রায়শই হাওয়া 

হয় সে, ইচ্ছেমত, ফিরেও আসে

অদ্ভুত সফর শেষে, ধূলোবালি মেখে। 

রুকস্যাককে ঝেড়েপুঁছে সাফসুতরো বানালে,

শোনায় সে শীঘ্রগামী বিবাগী কাহিনী

ভালোবাসে সে যেতে এমন মুলুকে

যেখানে যায় শুধু স্থিরমতি যাযাবর অপ্রচুর। 

কখনো সে চলে যায় মাছুপিছু , ইনকা সভ্যতার

হারানো শহর, ধ্বংস করেছিল যাকে লুটেরা

স্প্যানিশ। নীল রুকস্যাক কখনো যায় নাতিদূরে

তাওয়াং গূম্ফায় বা দেখে কঙ্গোর রক্তাত নদীতে,

কুমিরের গ্রাসে, মা জেব্রা পালাতে বলে স্তম্ভিত 

শিশুকে, চোখের ইশারায়, বোবা আর্তনাদে। 

মেকং নদীতে মাছেরা কেন পরিযায়ী হয়,

হরিণেরা নিশ্চিন্তে বেড়ায় তৃপ্ত সিংহিনীর পাশে,

প্রণয়াধিকার নিয়ে পশুর লড়াই - সবই দেখে

আমার নীল রুকস্যাক। তার কাহিনীর সাথে 

আমার ঘর বদলে যায় সবুজ বৃক্ষময় চাতালে,

ঝিঁঝিঁ ডাকে, বৃষ্টির মত বজ্র  ঝরে অবিরাম;

কখনো প্রাচীন মমি বা দিব্যমূর্তি নেমে আসে

প্রখর উজ্বল পাহাড়ী আলোতে, এই দীনহীন ঘরে। 

গভীর সবুজ উপত্যকা, পাহাড়, গ্লেসিয়ার ও নদী

জেগে উঠে ঘরে, কোকো পাতা ও পেরুর ডুমুরে

সূর্য মন্দিরে পরিবর্তিত  এ ঘর যায় ভরে। 

কখনো হাওয়ায় দোলে লাল, নীল, সবুজ, হলুদ

শান্তিকেতন; সোনালী, লাল ও সাদা গুম্ফার পথে

বুদ্ধ অভয় মুদ্রায় তাপিতকে বিলান শান্তিবারি। 

রুকস্যাকের গল্প শেষ হলে ঘর ফেরে স্বস্থানে। 

অলৌকিক নীল রুকস্যাক বলে, 'পশুরা প্রায়শই

মানুষ তবে নরপুঙ্গবের চেয়ে নিয়তই ভালো;

হত্যা অকারণে বা ধষর্ণ নেই তাদের শব্দকোষে,

মাদি ঝিঁঝিঁ বা সিংহিনী প্রণয়াধিকার ঠিক করে, 

সুভোজ্যেও খায় না ভরপেট শিকারী শ্বাপদ।'

I made an attempt to translate it into English:

My solitary blue vagrant rucksack

Is dedicated to traveling.

It jumps to my back

Pushes the couch potato in me

and transforms me into a global wanderer.

Sometimes, it vanishes on its own

Then returns when it wants

After the end of a myriad of adventures

Dusty and tired

I clean it up
While it narrates to me
Fervent fugitive stories.
It loves to visit countries
where amicable Nomads reside.

Sometimes, it visits Machu Picchu , 

The lost city of the Incas

Before it was plundered
By the Spanish conquistadors

Sometimes, it goes to Tawang monastery

Or visits the bloody river of Congo

Where caught in the grip of a crocodile,

A mother zebra implores her shocked cub 

To escape with silent screams.

Why the fish in the Mekong river migrate,

How a doe grazes fearlessly in the Savannah
Beside a satisfied lioness,

The fight for the right to love-

My blue rucksack witnesses it all.

With every story,
My home turns into a verdant woodland

Where crickets chirp

Thunders come down with the rain, incessantly

Sometimes,  an ancient mummy or a deity ascends

With the glow of supernatural light

In my humble abode.

Deep green valleys, mountains, glaciers, and rivers

Wake up in my room

Fill it with cocoa leaves and Peruvian figs

As it transfigures into a Sun temple.

The wind blows the red, blue, yellow, and green prayer flags

In the red, golden, and white path to the cave
Where Buddha postures peace to the tired traveller.

The stories end and my home returns to its original state

My other worldly rucksack says

' Animals often behave like humans

but they are better in most regards

They don't murder, rape, or maim without reason

The female cricket or the lioness has the right to choose her mate

And a predator doesn't attack if it is not hungry.

Warbler

Dear Me,

Transcript

If I had to advice my younger self I would say:
Don’t seek approval from anyone- you don’t need validation for your actions.
Be kind to yourself, it is okay to make mistakes.
Love your parents and keep them happy. They sacrificed a lot to raise you right.
There is no need to blend in.
People who bully or make fun of others are deeply insecure about themselves.
 Pity them.

In a few years’ time, love will come to you, so stop looking in the wrong places.
Don’t be afraid to be alone. You can create beautiful things in solitude.
Write another book.
Make plans to travel.
You will learn to cook, eventually. So, you won’t starve to death.

Most sincerely,
Your future self.

A few good men

My bet is that you will not read about this in the newspapers tomorrow because the pages will be filled with more important news about the cleavage of actresses and the lavish wedding of corrupt politicians’ spawns.

A friend from school is a Flight Lieutenant in Indian Air Force (IAF). He is based in Rajasthan currently, but his previous unit was in Kashmir. He volunteered for his previous unit for an Area Domination Patrol (ADP) at Mendhar, Kashmir, based on the input of IB, RAW and local intelligence.  They were a group of 7 on a joint counter-insurgency operation, with men from both the Indian Army and the IAF.  Terrorists (he estimates about 200 men) were trying to infiltrate from three sides at around 4 in the morning. The terrorists opened fire, and the unit changed positions for a counter-attack making them believe they were greater in number.  They killed five terrorists and lost one Junior Commissioned Officer (JCO), who was due for promotion. The terrorists raised a white flag, which our men respected and ceased fire. My friend was shot in the shoulder when he was trying to retrieve the dead body of the JCO.

The unit returned to base with their wounded and the fallen by walking back 8 km. A little dizzy from the loss of blood, my friend had a surgery around 5 pm that lasted for an hour. Media called during his surgery to ask about the nature of the ops and the infiltration. They asked how many terrorists were killed. Not a single question about how many were martyred.

The widow of the martyr talked to my friend and said, ‘Sab aap samhal lena’ (Please take care of us). My friends doesn’t believe that she will get a government job reserved for the family of  martyrs anytime soon because the officials in her resident state have already started demanding bribe in lakhs. Nevertheless, he promised that he will make sure she gets her dues.

I called up my friend when I received the news, concerned for his health. He was still cracking jokes, claiming it was normal in the line of duty and that duty came first.  And if anything happened ever to him, I should take care of his family.

What does our system give back to our heroes who risk their lives to protect us? They have to fight the enemy from outside as well from inside. The outside enemy is still better. At least they are known.  

An afternoon at the Rosicrucian Egyptian Museum

The curse of the Pharaoh
As a kid, I read about the alleged curse of the Pharaoh that affected the members of the Howard Carter expedition, after the discovery of the tomb of the boy king Tutankhamun in 1925. Mysterious deaths caused by elements (or Tutankhamun's priests to guard the royal tomb) have spiked the interest of media for years.

Made of solid gold, precious colored glass and jewels, King Tut's innermost coffin is one of the most ornate and rare examples of burial regalia.  The museum houses a replica of the same.

A brief history of ancient Egypt:
The Old Kingdom (2663 BCE -2195 BCE), also known as the Pyramid Age, because virtually all of Egypt's population was mobilized to construct the pyramids. At this time, only the king was thought to deserve a proper burial. However, private tombs called mastabas were sometimes donated by the king to worthy individuals.

Families were expected to care for their dead ancestors by leaving them offerings. It was believed that ka, or the spirit of the deceased, would consume the spirit of the food.

The eastern side of a coffin, easy to identify because the eyes are meant to witness the rising sun each morning.

The First Intermediate Period (2195 BCE - 2066 BCE)
The glory of the Old Kingdom waned when Egypt was severely affected by a drought. The yearly flooding of the River Nile failed leading to famine and warfare, The pharaoh as the 'provider'  lost control of the situation, and the formerly dominant central government collapsed into warring provinces called nomes. The royal workshops could no longer exert control over local artisans; thus, they were free to express regional tastes at the behest  of their patrons.

The Middle Kingdom (2066 BCE-1650 BCE)
A warrior king named Mentuhotep II reunified Egypt. This period is best known for its literary classics like Story of Sinuhe and the Admonition of Ipuwer.

The New Kingdom(1550 BCE-1064 BCE)
The Middle Kingdom ended with the peaceful invasion by the Hyksos. A family of Theban warriors drove the Hyksos out of Egypt. The New Kingdom is famous for kings like Akhenaten, Tutankhamun, Rameses and queens like Hatshepsut, Tiyi, Nefertiti. During this time, the science of preservation reached its technological peak.

Women in Ancient Egypt could marry, divorce, and own property. They enjoyed equal rights and responsibilities as men. Many girls were trained as musicians and chantresses. Goddesses were not mere reflections of their male counterparts. They had their own aspects of nature and acted independently from their mates.

Statue of Queen Cleopatra VII,  the last pharaoh of Egypt, was born into the Macedonian family called the Ptolemies, who were infamous for their vicious infighting. Matricide, patricide, and fratricide were common in many generations.

The Romans coveted Egypt as a bountiful source of grain they could use to feed their army. They used the infighting in the Ptolemy family as an excuse to send an envoy to Egypt: Julius Caesar. But Caesar fell in love with Cleopatra, and brought her back to Rome. However, when Caesar was murdered on the Senate steps, she fled back to Egypt.

The next envoy to Egypt was Mark Antony, a friend of Caesar, who fell in love Cleopatra too and together they fought against Rome until they were defeated. She committed suicide from an asp bite so she would not be dragged through the Roman streets.

Model of the temple of Abu Simbel 

Built by Ramesses II
(Note the scale of grandeur with respect to the model people standing at the entrance)

The temples were not merely places of worship; they fueled the Egyptian economy. Donations arriving at the temple for the resident deity were recycled back into the economy. The kings granted land to the temples, as well as prisoners of war, thus providing a workforce of linen weaving women. Linen was a form of currency and considered a worthy gift at any temple. The king was also responsible in keeping the temples stocked with incense to pacify the gods.

A fragment from The book of the Dead, a guide to the afterlife

Animals in Ancient Egypt
Many Egyptian deities were associated with specific animals. Baboons were believed to personify the Egyptian deity Djehuti, god of record-keeping, writing, and wisdom. Crocodiles represented Sobek, the crocodile god of the Nile. Uraeus or a rearing cobra was the image of the snake goddess, Wadjet, and was often worn on a king's brow. She was believed to protect the pharaoh. Cats were sacred to Bastet, goddess of music and household. Ancient Egyptians who wanted to honor a deity would pay for an animal to be mummified and donate it to the god or goddess's temple.

Amun Ram associated with the sun god Amun

Amuletic jewelry

In ancient Egypt, people wore amulets emblematic of a particular deity to be protected or be endowed with certain special abilities. For example, the amulet of goddess Hathor (mistress of music and  beauty) was thought to make a man or woman more attractive or more skilled at making music.

If these notes interest you, please take some time to visit the museum.

Address:1660 Park Avenue, San Jose, CA 95191
General admission: $9
Recommended duration: 2-3 hours

A broken verse

Every day I read news about gender violence and sexual assault. It is easy to feel empathetic towards the victims and equally difficult. Sometimes, I wonder what it is like to be a survivor. 

***

Memories. Memories. Bad memories. Horrible memories. They leave me raw with pain. I wish I could show you how wounded I was, but I don't want you to go through what I have survived. I am not even sure if I was a victim.

I say to myself it doesn't matter now. Maybe it doesn't. The putrid stench of their lust can't touch me. The scars from their bites have faded. It was a long night. Of violation and humiliation. Of my naked body lying in the cold by the road before someone found me and covered what was left of me and my dignity. Like a diseased animal, I was left to die. 'Why didn't they kill me?', I kept asking.

I tried to, so they kept me on a suicide watch. 'She has lost her mind', they said. No, I was sane. I was just trying to make a rational choice to end the struggle. Then I thought to myself: I am stronger than this. An accident will not define me. I will not end my life with such a miserable turn. My body is battered, but it will heal. I will have to help my mind. A bunch of drunk savages won't decide my fate. This is my story. I will write it.

The art of receiving

We always hear how unconditionally we should give. But we seldom dwell on the art of receiving. Here is a story for you...

A long time ago, a very talented mathematician and navigator decided that he wanted to go on an expedition to discover new trade routes via the ocean. He picked the best men he knew, asked for the blessings of his King and started out with a fleet of four ships towards the southern seas. They braved storms and diseases to reach land.

Now, the king of new land was a greedy one. As soon as he heard about the arrival of a foreign fleet, he decided to welcome them with great fanfare in the hopes that they bore gold and precious stones as gifts.

The expedition had very little resources left.  But the captain offered the king four cloaks of the finest velvet, a barrel full of honey, and twelve branches of the most beautiful coral. The meagre offering displeased the king, and he asked the men to pay customs duties in gold and silver like other traders or to leave the land by dawn.

Disappointed, the ships returned to sea. They were too tired to travel all the way back home, so they stopped by a nearby port. Here, the people were gracious. They fed the sailors and offered them fresh water.

On the first night of their stay, the captain discovered that the land was fertile, and the people grew spices in their fields. They had a surplus of salt and labor. He recruited 12 men from the nearest village and started his voyage back home. Their king received the news with great delight and ordered new fleets to embark on the newly discovered trade route for spices,  which until then, was  the monopoly of the Republic of Venice.

Business in the guest town flourished as they exported their spices and learned new skills from their visitors. The explorer took out his charts to travel to new territories again.

1. Not every gift needs to be gold and silver. It can be new ties, sharing of knowledge etc.
2. We should always receive gracefully. The giver might have been through a lot to get it.
3. Instead of immediate gains, we should open ourselves to the  bigger picture.