An old soul

Why do you work?

My mom was asked this question- why does your daughter work? Doesn’t you son-in-law earn enough?

First of all, at this day and age this question is beyond ridiculous. Secondly, my husband is more than capable of providing for me. But my parents have supported me to have an education I wanted. That commitment feels validated when I tell them, especially my mother, the continuous learning experiences I have at work. And finally, it is up to every woman to decide whether she wants to work or not. She is the queen of her house and may choose to share the responsibilities with her king as she seems fit. In fact, having a job makes life easier in a lot of ways. You don’t have to explain to asshats what you did the whole day. ( সারাদিন কি করেছ ?)

What should a woman wear?

Women in Denmark who are found wearing niqab and burqa can now expect to be penalized for the ‘illegal act’ - more than £100 for the first offense and up to £1,200 with a potential jail sentence of up to six months. At the other extreme of the spectrum was what I read in ’I am Malala’ where the Taliban could choose to shoot a woman in the face if she refused to wear a hijab.

Fashion has changed over the years, from corsets that constrained the respiratory system so much that women needed fainting couches to bullets bras with circular stitches that made your boobs a weapon for your defense to the realization that women can wear pants to work too.

The western world appears very modern from a distance because it allows its women to wear whatever they want. But modernity is not a function of what you wear. You can wear a pair of jeans, but you might have Paleolithic ideas about gender roles. You might cover yourself from head to toe and still be championing for women’s right to education. Also, a deep cut blouse or a short skirt doesn’t make you sexually promiscuous.

For years, men thought that women dress up to get their attention. And women think it is for competition. That is a very antediluvian way of thinking. They didn’t get the memo that women (and men and pangender people) can wear whatever they want as long as the occasion is appropriate. You won’t wear shorts to a board meeting or a burqa to a beach (if your belief system is not strictly Islamic). In fact, what you wear should be no one’s business but yours.