How does it feel to be in a place you have been years ago?
It's like meeting an acquaintance u knew long back..it's like..u have to re-introduce urself to that person/place again...
Sense the sights, smell, temperature..in a new way...
It's like adjusting urself to a place u called home years ago
An hour's drive in the early morning of 9th March from Dum Dum airport to Pretoria street gave me an eerie feeling..
The smell was so unfamiliar..the humidity so foreign that I had to ask myself.....Did I really ever belong to this place?
Born a Bengali,brought up in North East ..and having spent my growing years in Delhi & NCR..I often wondered...Where's my home?
To that ..once my Dad had replied..."The whole world is your abode...where u can make ur home..that's where u belong to..."
Bits and pieces is what I have. I have never tried to comprehend the whole of myself at once.I know it will take time. In my journey towards self realization- be a witness and share your thoughts. This has been more than just my web log since May 2005. Some posts are copyright of Genesis Publishers.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Monday, March 06, 2006
Beating the blues...
Life sucks when u wait the whole day to meet someone - and he says he can't make it..coz he has other commitments...
After a series of emotional crests and troughs u decide u had enough ..when ur Dad enacts how u were shown dancing on the TV (Aaj Tak Video footage of Kritva-IMI(International Management Institute) fest)
Ur Bro drags u for an outing..
U go to Shoppers' Stop and make good use of ur membership card and bad use of ur Dad's hard earned money..
But fortunately retail therapy always works..
Suddenly ur Debit/Credit card refuses to get processed..and u wonder aloud.."How wrong can a day go???..One single day?"
And then the guy at the counter asks u how/where u got ur nail art done..u explain to him..
IMPULSE..GK M-Block Market..n u feel the day isn't so bad...after all
and then u see a baby gal in a pink frock
and an infant in his peram..
and a li'l old lady thanks u coz u helped open a door for her..
and a T-shirt with the slogan
"Life becomes a lot more interesting when u make MISTAKES"
And u smile to urself...
What the F***!!
I don't need anyone else to be happy..my happiness is an independent variable.
An intrinsic factor..it comes from within...
I wonder, how can someone who is as practial and mature most of the times
(at least most of my friends think so..otherwise I wouldn't have to play an agony aunt ...a thankless job anyways..) can make a complete jack ass of myself on certain occasions...!!!???
Maybe...I need to stop watching those stupid romantic comedies
(What the hell I watched Serendipity on Zee studio today!! And wept..Shit! Shittt!! SHITTT!!!)
After a series of emotional crests and troughs u decide u had enough ..when ur Dad enacts how u were shown dancing on the TV (Aaj Tak Video footage of Kritva-IMI(International Management Institute) fest)
Ur Bro drags u for an outing..
U go to Shoppers' Stop and make good use of ur membership card and bad use of ur Dad's hard earned money..
But fortunately retail therapy always works..
Suddenly ur Debit/Credit card refuses to get processed..and u wonder aloud.."How wrong can a day go???..One single day?"
And then the guy at the counter asks u how/where u got ur nail art done..u explain to him..
IMPULSE..GK M-Block Market..n u feel the day isn't so bad...after all
and then u see a baby gal in a pink frock
and an infant in his peram..
and a li'l old lady thanks u coz u helped open a door for her..
and a T-shirt with the slogan
"Life becomes a lot more interesting when u make MISTAKES"
And u smile to urself...
What the F***!!
I don't need anyone else to be happy..my happiness is an independent variable.
An intrinsic factor..it comes from within...
I wonder, how can someone who is as practial and mature most of the times
(at least most of my friends think so..otherwise I wouldn't have to play an agony aunt ...a thankless job anyways..) can make a complete jack ass of myself on certain occasions...!!!???
Maybe...I need to stop watching those stupid romantic comedies
(What the hell I watched Serendipity on Zee studio today!! And wept..Shit! Shittt!! SHITTT!!!)
Sunday, March 05, 2006
It's my life!!
Someone recently remarked I appear to be a character from some novel..living in a far-off castle...who loves to play with puppies and wants only flowers as gifts..
Maybe I am not grounded..but surely I am not that fantastic!!
I wouldn't have existed in real life then!!!
But what the hell !
Who cares!!
And even if I do...who cares that I care?
Here I am ..having the time of my life -playing Movie Crosswords and Dumb Charades @ Kritva..
And pronouncing my fav F word a no.of times enough to make my Mom wash my mouth if she heard it..
I am happy..I am being myself..wild..crazy..fun..
I have never tried to be someone else in my life...
not only coz I think it's cowardly..but also coz I think it's much more convenient to be myself...
Love me or hate me...but only coz I am ME...
And if u think U want to change me... only to suit ur whim..then..I am terribly sorry..I can change for NO ONE.
It's not vanity..just simple logic
If I cease to be me...I will cease to exist..
and u wud actually be liking someone else...not ME
So next time u think something is not right ..or something needs to be rectified..just let me know..don't try to dictate..coz it's my LIFE!!!
Maybe I am not grounded..but surely I am not that fantastic!!
I wouldn't have existed in real life then!!!
But what the hell !
Who cares!!
And even if I do...who cares that I care?
Here I am ..having the time of my life -playing Movie Crosswords and Dumb Charades @ Kritva..
And pronouncing my fav F word a no.of times enough to make my Mom wash my mouth if she heard it..
I am happy..I am being myself..wild..crazy..fun..
I have never tried to be someone else in my life...
not only coz I think it's cowardly..but also coz I think it's much more convenient to be myself...
Love me or hate me...but only coz I am ME...
And if u think U want to change me... only to suit ur whim..then..I am terribly sorry..I can change for NO ONE.
It's not vanity..just simple logic
If I cease to be me...I will cease to exist..
and u wud actually be liking someone else...not ME
So next time u think something is not right ..or something needs to be rectified..just let me know..don't try to dictate..coz it's my LIFE!!!
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