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Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Thoughts after watching the Hindi movie Pink

We watched Pink last night. I asked SG what was his takeaway from the movie. He thinks it tries to convey that we should treat everyone equally-man or woman. He was referring to the double-standards of society when it comes to judging 'character' from habits. For example, drinking, smoking, partying are indications of loose morals for girls, while boys are just having fun. Pre-marital sex is a mark of a whore but when boys do it -it is the mark of a man.

What enrages me most is the sense of entitlement some of these bastards have. I have always held the opinion that if you need to force yourself upon a woman/man, you are worse than an animal. Even they have courtship and mating rituals.

The movie also dug up some memories of my time in NCR. During undergrads, a stalker used to bother me by calling up on my phone asking me to meet him, threatening to kidnap me if I didn't agree. When I discussed the matter with one of my father's colleagues- a well-respected senior police officer- he advised me to keep a low profile. Kya zaroorat hai (dance) program karne ki?

That day I realized the degree of bias people have when it comes to women who seek help. That man had two daughters himself. I kept wondering if he would have said the same to his daughters. I am sad to say that he probably would have.

So, the best thing to do is keep a low profile, keep your head down, eyes glued to the street. Become invisible. Because God forbid, if someone notices you, they might think they are entitled to your body, your dignity, your consent.

Consent. This is another thing that people need to be educated about. Even a street walker or your wife can withdraw her consent for physical intimacy. If a girl agrees first, then changes her mind- it is still a 'No'. If a girl is intoxicated and can not verbally give consent, you should stop. Saying 'No' is not a game. She is NOT playing hard to get.

That brings me to the Code of Behavior for Girls: Don't laugh. Don't be yourself. Don't blink. If some twisted pervert sees this as an invitation and something untoward happens, you will get to hear: Aisi ladkiyon ke saath aisa hi hota hai.