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Saturday, June 02, 2007

Some dumb questions and I need even dumber answers

1. Why do men play computer games meant for kids?
2. How can you learn the ABC of web marketing?
3. Why does your boss arrive early when you are late but is late when you are early?
4. What is the probability of a university accepting you when you really want to get through it?
5. What do you do when you go out on weekends and see witchy looking creatures with caked faces snogging up with gorgeous guys and you, who is apparently desirable, is dateless?

Will give the replies later. Want you to answer first.

And yeah- the bonanza question:
What do you when you are tired of being Miss Goody-two-shoes and want to do something really wicked?

This is an emergency question for a friend of mine: How to find a girlfriend in just two weeks' time?
More on this later.

27 comments:

rkgautam said...

1. Men like to do a lot of things that kids do. Wanna know some examples? well, that counts for another question and the time permits only five + bonanza

2. As far as how is concerned, its a million dollar question. How can one do it or how can one do it? :) For where, please refer to www.abc.edu/webmarketing

3. The events (you coming to office, your boss coming to office) are MECE (mutually exclusive collectively exhaustive) in terms of time recorded. There are no exceptions.

4. Getting through has various meanings: making it, passing out, getting an admission offer etc. You wanting to be be accepted by someone other than your beau may offend him. If you desperately want it, the probability may be 0.5, but its very difficult to precisely answer the question considering the unavailability of historical data.

5. Call up your beau, and ask him to note the event in his logbook. Make sure you have your desires fulfilled when you meet.

And here is the Bonanza:

Tired? Sleep :)

Disclaimer: There is no warranty or guarantee that above will meet your requirements. Please verify the veracity of all information on your own before undertaking any reliance. Your use of the above is at your sole risk.

candid diary said...

I can not call my own answers ‘dumber than your dumb questions’ but here are my reactions:
1. Men < kids.
2. Whatever you do, don’t take a course on e-commerce.
3. When your boss quarrels at home and your spouse is very chweeet he arrives early and you are late. And vice versa. Bribe boss’ Baai to gather intelligence.
4. 50.50%
5. Were you not aware that gigolos are abundant in India?
6. When you are tired of being Miss Goody-two-shoes and want to do something really wicked play some prank.

zoxcleb said...

1. Coz they have to behave like adults when they are with girls.

2. You cant.

3. Murphy's law! But why should it matter? Just do ur work, and let that speak for itself.

4. 0.

5. Write. You know u are much better than them. (thats what keeps me going)

6. Throw caution to the winds, and do it!

7. I wish i knew too!

passer by said...

1. Why do men play computer games meant for kids?
1.the kids perhaps hindered their night games.

2. How can you learn the ABC of web marketing?
2.you can't cos there is only a WWW.

3. Why does your boss arrive early when you are late but is late when you are early?
3.because he leaves early when i stay late..and stays longer when i leave early.

4. What is the probability of a university accepting you when you really want to get through it?
4. >1.thats how good i am in maths.

5. What do you do when you go out on weekends and see witchy looking creatures with caked faces snogging up with gorgeous guys and you, who is apparently desirable, is dateless?
5.i being I would pity the gorgeous guys and thank Lucifer for being blissfully single.

Q.What do you when you are tired of being Miss Goody-two-shoes and want to do something really wicked?
A.steal neighbor's slippers and run away.

How to find a girlfriend in just two weeks' time?
Dude..you should have asked the apparently desirable dateless girl something else..
मोको कहॉ ढूंढे रे बन्दे
मैं तो तेरे पास में

Saurabh said...

How 2 find a GF in just two weeks' time ?

Umm.. Search Orkut, Search Myspace get a gullible soul and make them yours...

But beware such kind of fratenizing is not going to work in long term and will have serious repurcussion in your life, but worth a try :)

BulletRip said...

I guess the questions asked are not dumb questions as they can make u think twice. And some of the answers given above are not dumber either as they really mean something, they really point to the answer.

1. This is a good question actually. First let me ans y it is so.

Like some ppl ask dumb questions and some even think hard to give dumber answers, there are others who think y not go for the dumbest? simple. but relative.

Another ans would be to think otherwise (as i said earlier - relativity). Kids play computer games, those who grow up to become men continue playing it. And those who don't (girls) start pondering abt it. who is then the dumbest?

dumb ans - becoz they are paedophile

2. I guess first u need to learn WEB.

3. Ask the boss yaar... how do i know. If i knew, will that happen?

4. IF i knew probability that well, i'll certainly get through it. probability - 1.

PS: probability is not measured in percentage.

5. You will tell yourself - "I am smart & single."

Here, lemme tell u my philosophy abt "Confidence". How much confident you are depends on how well u can lie to urself.

You have to tell urself that u r the best even if u know that u r not. You have to tell urself u can jump off the cliff even if u know u'll faint in the middle or even pee in ur pants. You need to convince urself that u can do it when u have no idea at all what is it they want u to do. That's confidence.... n that's abt lying to ur self.

ans to bonanza question.

It's time to change ur shoes.

And for that emergency question - I'd like to remain silent on questions not pointed directly to me.

Thanks,
DRM.

Abhishek said...

1) Because they will have to become PAPA soon.
2) Start with A.
3) Nature fits you in complementary roles. Nature rules.
4) 1.
5) Sit with a mirror in front of you and contemplate.

Bonanza Answer:
Pull another Miss Goody's legs and break them.

tusnin said...

1. Why do men play computer games meant for kids?

To keep the system busy so that their kids don't waste time playing computer games.

2. How can you learn the ABC of web marketing?

It's a bit tricky...Start with 'W' ..go through 'E', 'B', 'M', 'A', 'R', 'K', 'E', 'T', 'I', 'N'.....and end up in 'G'

3. Why does your boss arrive early when you are late but is late when you are early?
The probability of your wife wanting to do 'IT' in the morning and your boss's wife wanting the same is mutually exclusive.

4. What is the probability of a university accepting you when you really want to get through it?

follow the equation

p(n) = 1 - 1/YOUR_FATHER'S_BANK_BALANCE


5. What do you do when you go out on weekends and see witchy looking creatures with caked faces snogging up with gorgeous guys and you, who is apparently desirable, is dateless?

I call up my dentist and ask for a date

6.What do you when you are tired of being Miss Goody-two-shoes and want to do something really wicked?

I change my shoes

7.How to find a girlfriend in just two weeks' time?

just follow the rules in the movie "How to lose a girl in 10 days"

Arun Srinivasan said...

First of all...i hav to accept...i dont hav to think too hard to answer u with dumbest...i feel, for this my normal answers will be so! :-P

1. Why do men play computer games meant for kids?

For the same reason why women want to sleep cuddling a teddy bear!

2. How can you learn the ABC of web marketing?

well...if question is for me...no thnx...

3. Why does your boss arrive early when you are late but is late when you are early?

Think yourself as the manager, u will hav the answer!!! Anyway my manager also hav the same feel with his manager!!! so he stopped yelling at me once i saw his manager yelling at him!

4. What is the probability of a university accepting you when you really want to get through it?

Probability is another way of calculating luck mathematically. If its bad time...even if u r on a camel's back i bet u will get bitten by a dog...cant help

5. What do you do when you go out on weekends and see witchy looking creatures with caked faces snogging up with gorgeous guys and you, who is apparently desirable, is dateless?

I do whts answered for 6th...then i wont feel so!

6. What do you when you are tired of being Miss Goody-two-shoes and want to do something really wicked?

Go for 3 shots of vodka, 3 shots of Salmiakki, 1 shot of Absinthe ( 7 is my lucky number :-))...Get on to the dance floor!

7. How to find a girlfriend in just two weeks' time?

I do whts answered for 6th...then i wont feel so! :-P

Arun Srinivasan said...

hey i better advice u to open a new blog which is more interactive...u know i feel bit left out in wild after giving my view and jus seeing none from ur point of view

Aparna Kar said...

@arun
Oops. Someone is not happy that I am not getting to reply nowadays. Solly :P
Btw, I have already created two new blogs. How many more do you want me to manage? :D

The comments in this post can hardly have counter comments. Each one had a point to make and could make you contemplate for a while. Nevertheless, I will try to extract the hot spots asap.

moid said...

1. Why do men play computer games meant for kids?
Because men need to play n test if itz appropriate for kids

2. How can you learn the ABC of web marketing?
Search for "web marketing" on www.google.com

3. Why does your boss arrive early when you are late but is late when you are early?
Simple, he has put that GPS chip inside ya... to track ya!

4. What is the probability of a university accepting you when you really want to get through it?
0.00 and perhaps if dat becomes just "you want to get..." then it might be 0.10

5. What do you do when you go out on weekends and see witchy looking creatures with caked faces snogging up with gorgeous guys and you, who is apparently desirable, is dateless?
pat urself on the back for not being a loser's date!

For the answer to your bonus question, u need to offer some more bait... than the one u'd last nite! >:D<

Ruchika said...

3rd question I've thought about a lot many times myself! And I used only one tactic.. used to send an email to my boss giving some update or the other, so that he knows I've been in office for some time.. Or find a way to mention somehow in conversation that I took a call at 8 this morning, or something inane like that! Ofcourse, if and only if I arrived before him.. which was seldom! :)

Aparna Kar said...

@ruchika
Very practical solution indeed :D It's about letting him know that you were early. Though he might see through your sudden enthusiasm for mailing updates. He must have done the same at your level :P
Thanks for the tip :)

Aparna Kar said...

@Moid
Bait? :O What bait???
You give the imagery of my having gone fishing last night.:)) Settle things in India first, before you leave again. My best wishes. And yes, your will be done :D

Arun Srinivasan said...

@ruchika...

I follow a better way..this is one gud thing abt outlook....i usually come by 10:30 ( hope my manager dont read this )...and usually will in the office killing time till 8 or so...usually at EOD i hav something to report to him...but i congiure a auto mail to be sent by 9:30...one more adv is me and manager sit in diff floor and i know he is never gonna come to y place and check me...so even i he assume tht i was in office by 9:30 i hav excuse of saying i had been to coffee hall ;-)

you know who said...

just realized this...if the countdown begun on 2nd june itself, your friend has only 10 days left!! Wow...this is interesting. Now, the question is, "How to find a girl in 10 days"

Naresh said...

1. cos Kids get kissd by lovely ladies, they want to b kids all over agn n start wid games... ;)

2. Thrz A, but no B n C in Web Marketing.

3. Murphy's Law!

4. -1

5. Thankfully, am a guy n not a gay!

6. Flirt wid a married man! ;)

7. Do let me know when u know that!

Anonymous said...

@you know who said.....

Even i know who it could be :P:P

Aparna Kar said...

@anonymous
Wow! You seem to be omniscient. Aur kya kya jaantey hai aap :D

you know who said...

@anonymous
what exactly do you mean?

@aparna
we r waiting for ur response

Aparna Kar said...

I was waiting for some more responses and specially Saikat's but it seems my blog got blocked in his office owing to apparent unaccounted number of clicks :D
Ok.. Here's what I initially thought of (as told to GP ):
1. Men are kids who refuse to grow up
2. Web marketing for Dummies you dummy!
3. Murphy's law
4. 0.5
5. Your beau lives somewhere else
OR u r really not as attractive as u think OR that gorgeous guy staring at you is actually thinking "Why am I stuck with this witch, instead of that girl?"
6. A. Take a pet snake to office and lose it in the ladies' restroom.
B. Travel all by yourself on a weekend.
C. Kiss your girl friend in a crowded place if u r a girl.

7. I need to know that. I'm looking for a girl friend too:D

you know who said...

I might be biased...but will have to admit that yours are the best!

Aparna Kar said...

@ you know who
Wow! Thanks! * gets emotional, sighs, sniffs and starts sobbing * :D

sirpy said...

Lol.. Found "Passerby's" replies the best.. too witty for words..

Aparna Kar said...

@sirpy
Yeah he has a way with words :D

But I also giggled at:Candid's - 3. When your boss quarrels at home and your spouse is very chweeet he arrives early and you are late. And vice versa. Bribe boss’ Baai to gather intelligence, zoxcleb's- 1. Coz they have to behave like adults when they are with girls, and almost all answers by tusnin

pdey said...

1. Deep deep inside.. there's an eternal kid in every man.

2. simply by having a look at this page http://www.milliondollarhomepage.com/
... its real, this chap earned a million dollar.

3. Coz we both got a common girlfriend :P

4. Same as Jessica Alba gives you a call once she find you in her orkut fan-list.. :P .. lol, i guess u stand a chance better than this.

5. Heck, prolly those guys learnt a lesson from A Beautiful Mind and are not opting for the hot blonde at all..alas!!