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Friday, May 23, 2008

To woo or not to woo

Ok, a quick update from my side. I was done with my Economics exam last evening and with the semester. (Aah! So liberating I could dance again) Got soaked in the rain while walking home from campus(Yuppie !!) And I will be away for this weekend and the next before I join my Summer in June. Now, there’s something about job offers/internships and guys/girls- you never have them around when you have none; and when you have one, others will crowd in.

I always believed that real life facts have more potential for drama than any kind of fabrication. And probably that is why you will see me posting this. ( with permission of PK, of course )

PK: hey
me: hi
PK: I need confirmation
me: abt?
PK: agony alert
me: ok ( back stretched) Attention
PK: this one will be quick
would you even think about getting married to someone who you met 2 months ago, met just once
me: depends
PK: and in the mean time not talk to any other prospects in an arranged marriage
me: agn depends
PK: depends on?
me: what happened in tht just one meeting
PK: talks have been okay but off late the frequency has decreased
the one meeting was at home with parents sitting outside
so what could it be? apart from awkwardness
me: * sigh * dunno
PK: tell me your answer. yes or no
me: No
PK: I just want to make sure. ok I am normal
me: I'd say no. I will definitely need more time cm on!
PK: if I talk to some other prospects in the mean time while I have not had communication with the earlier one, am I wrong?
me: no (if )u dint commit anything, u were just exploring ur possibilities
PK: if I say 2 months are not enough and one needs to spend more time together before getting to know them, am I wrong?
me: nt at all. nt frm whr I see it
PK: then why am I being portrayed as one who will talk to 100 ppl before he decides and called a liar
me: ???
PK: and someone who deceived
etc etc ?
me: I guess tht person needs a life.
n u'd be wise enough nt to indulge in any kind of alliance
Matrimonial or otherwise wth a family like tht
PK: ok now that i have told you the gist can I vent out the petty details ?
me: yes I'm interested (now)
PK: my dad puts a profile of me online on a matrimonial website inspite of me warning them not to. I go to India, I am asked to meet a girl, lets say girl1. I meet her once at out home in **** for 2hrs on March 19th And I come back here. We talk on the phone often but I have not committed anything yet, I can not.
me: understood
PK: then on the profile girl2's dad expresses interest
My dad shows me the profile, I get intrigued
1. Because I find the pics cute
2. The profile is interesting
So I ask dad, ok I agree to talk to her
Dad gives my email address to the girl
The girl asks me how many I have met
I tell her exactly how many
And who all, is her next question
Without taking names I say who all and where
Apparently, girl2 is a friend of girl1
me: grt !!
PK: and wants to prove a point to girl1 with an example that she should keeps her options open and I am that example
me: ???
PK: that I have my options open and am talking to others
so she should too, yada yada
me: now?
PK: and what coincidence it was girl2's dad who takes care of her profile and does not know about all this. Girl2 recognizes my pic from the one that girl1 shows her
now? I find myself in between, I find girl2 cute but it too weird to continue
me: n..? u want girl2. But dunno how to go abt it?
PK: nothing, i am being called a liar
yes, i dont know
me: ouch.. tht hurts too
PK: me: I met you mid march, it is mid may now
5:58 PM 2 months, you think thats enough to committ oneself to someone ?
S: how many times r ya gna keep stressing on da same thing dat u dont knw me enough?
i'm sorry i dont believe in putting in 20 yrs
i mean who is asking for 20 years
but 2 months and 1 meetup is just not enough
me: hmm
this is girl 1?
PK: yes
me: wht hv u decided?
PK: lol to cut the BS and tell dad to let me live but am sure I can not tell that
me: hmm coz sooner or later u got to marry
PK: yes. Girl2 thinks that I have commitment issues
I don’t, I just can’t commit without knowing the person
I could go back for 3 weeks and meet her 3-4times per week and I could have a much better idea but in just 1 week and over the phone, no chance in hell that I agree

... and this goes on. I really don't like to give my opinion before I have heard both sides of the story. But from where I can see it- there are only three strategic options:
1.PK tries to woo and marry Girl1 and they both forget about Girl2.
2. PK forgets both of them and tries to find Girl3 for himself.
3. PK tries to get back to Girl1 (Worst case)

Doing nothing is an option too. But I am a non-believer in that.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

The last revelation

The happiness I seek is within me.
In my work.
In my passion for life.
And the ones who had faith in me in spite of everything.

Friday, May 09, 2008

In her shoes

Image courtesy: Ashley Bell

I have a cousin sister (the daughter of my paternal aunt), elder to me by nine months. She was called Sejhdibhai, a title typical for the third eldest girl in an extended Bengali family.

When we were growing up, we were inseparable. So much so that my Grandpa called us twins and gave us the names Jaya-Bijaya, other than our own assortments of already earned sobriquets.

I don't know how it happened, maybe it was a secret I told her not to share with anyone. Maybe it was the differences in perceptions we began to develop around puberty. We got busy with our own lives- me primarily with my school grades.

I wasn't her partner in dancing school anymore 'cause I stuck to taking private tuitions for my Hindustani Classical Vocal instead. And so the weekend meetings at Kalatirtho, the dancing school, became infrequent too. Though I made it a point to watch her perform on stage even if I weren't participating during cultural fests and Ponchisey Baisakh (Gurudev's birthday) celebrations. My favorite was dancing to the Tagore song "Aaj dhaaner khete rodro-chhayay luko churir khela" with her.

After my ICSE, we went out together to one of her very close pal's pad, and she declared proudly about me: The lowest she has scored in an subject is 80%. I remember meeting her next during two family tragedies- when her father died and our grandfather passed away. Her strength during both occasions were exemplary.

I met her once in Bangalore during her undergraduate days. I was in North India, while she was in the South. And it was rare that we went home on vacations concurrently. Over the years, we only grew apart and out of touch. Often I missed her active presence in my life. The secrets we shared, the jokes we made, we had even got my favorite doll married to her favorite teddy bear !

Sometimes, I wonder how it would be to meet her after all these years. I heard she is going to get married this November. And, as usual, I won't be able to attend it. I'd be busy wrapping up a semester then.

I guess my greatest strengths and my greatest weaknesses are people. They say life is all about the connections we make. It's also about the ones we lose on our way.

Saturday, May 03, 2008

You don't need to say it

It's strange how two people can communicate without understanding each other's spoken language. KM's mother had been visiting us for a while and she is not functional in any language other than Telugu. And my knowledge in Telugu encompasses Manchi= good and Banti = ball, that too, after interacting with her.

Last weekend, KM's maternal aunt and her family came over. They had a beautiful kid who was a real smartypants. I told his Mom that he'll be one lady-killer someday." He speaks with his eyes !" She laughed and said, "People often say he'll grow to be a big flirt." Dunno what the kid understood, but he gave me a shy smile, hid his face behind a chair and peeked at me from there.

I love kids. It felt so good watching him while I took a tea break. I had hardly come out of my room in two days, busy with some end-sem submissions. Though I have this temptation too and I admit it often, I never resort to pulling the cheeks of children because I think they deserve to be treated like adults and with some respect. Also, I believe I never liked my cheeks getting pulled when I was a kid. It was humiliating.

When they were gone, I hugged aunt saying that "I'm so glad to have you here. This house feels like home now." She comprehended the essence and she hugged me back with affection.

On Wednesdays, I don't have classes this semester. So, when she asked "U.. me.. sea" I understood she wanted to go by the bay for a walk. She even suggested I take my beach ball with us. Though, when she said "Baal" I thought something is wrong with my hair (which I am usually fussy about) and touched my hair and looked at the mirror. Then, I realized that she probably wanted to take the ball I had bought the other day when we had gone shopping.

We went out to the bay, chit chatted for a while. She told me how she had been married after her 10th Standard and was pregnant in a year's time. She began reading again after her kids started going to school. It was nice trying to figure out what she said, and I felt - everyone has a story; it's so fascinating to listen!

She had mentioned it to KM that I am very good at expressing without even speaking. Probably one of the best of the better kind ( read : Chemical properties vs physical properties) of compliments I ever received. I opined- "It's not enough to be able to express. You need someone to understand you too." It wouldn't have been effective if she didn't make an equal effort.

Sometimes, we don't wish to speak. Sometimes, we can not. But each time we hope that someone will understand us. Humans are strange creatures, eh?

Thursday, May 01, 2008

The two Ms in my life

First, a little game. Read this story and list your favorite characters in descending order of liking (the one you like most at first and so on and so forth) and I'll predict your behavioral patterns/priorities of life. I will state my preference later, when I discuss the results in one of my comments, to save biases.

Excuse my kiddish indulgence with MS Paint and typical fairy tale type narration.

There lived a princess, S, in a kingdom far, far away. The neighboring kingdom had a prince named A. Both were in love. But their parents were sworn enemies and when they decided to tell their parents about their secret affair, their respective fathers asked them to choose either the family or the prospective spouse. They even threatened to disinherit them if they went ahead to solemnize a wedding. S decided to leave her father and go to A to marry him.

There was a river she had to cross, where she found a boatman to help her. Mid way through the stream, she told him her story and revealed that she had no money with her and no means to pay him for his services, until of course he wanted the jewels she had on her. M refused to take any payment and wished her luck in her endeavor.

When S met A in his kingdom, he said that he understood that she had undertaken great difficulty to come over, but he couldn't marry her. He was the only heir to the throne and he could not let it fall in wrong hands. He had duty towards his subjects as well. And even if he never married , he couldn't possibly marry her.

Heart-broken S went to one of A's friends H and asked him to marry her. H remarked that he had always seen her as the beau of his friend and thought that she rightly belonged to him. There was no way he could marry her.

S went to another friend named L , and told him everything that had transpired. He felt bad for the poor girl, got married and now they are bickering somewhere out there..


"Those who say money can't buy happiness, don't know where to shop." Do you agree? A for yes, B for no. Right now, I feel it is A in bold.