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Friday, May 23, 2008

To woo or not to woo

Ok, a quick update from my side. I was done with my Economics exam last evening and with the semester. (Aah! So liberating I could dance again) Got soaked in the rain while walking home from campus(Yuppie !!) And I will be away for this weekend and the next before I join my Summer in June. Now, there’s something about job offers/internships and guys/girls- you never have them around when you have none; and when you have one, others will crowd in.

I always believed that real life facts have more potential for drama than any kind of fabrication. And probably that is why you will see me posting this. ( with permission of PK, of course )

PK: hey
me: hi
PK: I need confirmation
me: abt?
PK: agony alert
me: ok ( back stretched) Attention
PK: this one will be quick
would you even think about getting married to someone who you met 2 months ago, met just once
me: depends
PK: and in the mean time not talk to any other prospects in an arranged marriage
me: agn depends
PK: depends on?
me: what happened in tht just one meeting
PK: talks have been okay but off late the frequency has decreased
the one meeting was at home with parents sitting outside
so what could it be? apart from awkwardness
me: * sigh * dunno
PK: tell me your answer. yes or no
me: No
PK: I just want to make sure. ok I am normal
me: I'd say no. I will definitely need more time cm on!
PK: if I talk to some other prospects in the mean time while I have not had communication with the earlier one, am I wrong?
me: no (if )u dint commit anything, u were just exploring ur possibilities
PK: if I say 2 months are not enough and one needs to spend more time together before getting to know them, am I wrong?
me: nt at all. nt frm whr I see it
PK: then why am I being portrayed as one who will talk to 100 ppl before he decides and called a liar
me: ???
PK: and someone who deceived
etc etc ?
me: I guess tht person needs a life.
n u'd be wise enough nt to indulge in any kind of alliance
Matrimonial or otherwise wth a family like tht
PK: ok now that i have told you the gist can I vent out the petty details ?
me: yes I'm interested (now)
PK: my dad puts a profile of me online on a matrimonial website inspite of me warning them not to. I go to India, I am asked to meet a girl, lets say girl1. I meet her once at out home in **** for 2hrs on March 19th And I come back here. We talk on the phone often but I have not committed anything yet, I can not.
me: understood
PK: then on the profile girl2's dad expresses interest
My dad shows me the profile, I get intrigued
1. Because I find the pics cute
2. The profile is interesting
So I ask dad, ok I agree to talk to her
Dad gives my email address to the girl
The girl asks me how many I have met
I tell her exactly how many
And who all, is her next question
Without taking names I say who all and where
Apparently, girl2 is a friend of girl1
me: grt !!
PK: and wants to prove a point to girl1 with an example that she should keeps her options open and I am that example
me: ???
PK: that I have my options open and am talking to others
so she should too, yada yada
me: now?
PK: and what coincidence it was girl2's dad who takes care of her profile and does not know about all this. Girl2 recognizes my pic from the one that girl1 shows her
now? I find myself in between, I find girl2 cute but it too weird to continue
me: n..? u want girl2. But dunno how to go abt it?
PK: nothing, i am being called a liar
yes, i dont know
me: ouch.. tht hurts too
PK: me: I met you mid march, it is mid may now
5:58 PM 2 months, you think thats enough to committ oneself to someone ?
S: how many times r ya gna keep stressing on da same thing dat u dont knw me enough?
i'm sorry i dont believe in putting in 20 yrs
i mean who is asking for 20 years
but 2 months and 1 meetup is just not enough
me: hmm
this is girl 1?
PK: yes
me: wht hv u decided?
PK: lol to cut the BS and tell dad to let me live but am sure I can not tell that
me: hmm coz sooner or later u got to marry
PK: yes. Girl2 thinks that I have commitment issues
I don’t, I just can’t commit without knowing the person
I could go back for 3 weeks and meet her 3-4times per week and I could have a much better idea but in just 1 week and over the phone, no chance in hell that I agree

... and this goes on. I really don't like to give my opinion before I have heard both sides of the story. But from where I can see it- there are only three strategic options:
1.PK tries to woo and marry Girl1 and they both forget about Girl2.
2. PK forgets both of them and tries to find Girl3 for himself.
3. PK tries to get back to Girl1 (Worst case)

Doing nothing is an option too. But I am a non-believer in that.


ILA said...

I prefer to Girl3.
1. Girls are always too possesive and guys are too transitive. Cant assure this guy with turn up to Girl1 after marriage(from Men's perspective)
2. There is always a doubt on this guy from Girl2 if he chose her. (women's perspective)
3. If he chose Girl1, it is bullshit.(my perspective).

arnab said...

this is hilarious! i see some folks have watched too much chick flicks and "saas bhi kbahi bahu thi" types melodramas. or, as you said, may just need to get a life.

1,3 are non-options for any sane person, and i am assuming pk to be one ;-)

Aparna Kar said...

The definition of sanity, until a clinical one, is very subjective my dear friend :P What might be sane in your or my perspective might not be so in his. From what I could sense, he really likes Girl2. Makes that even tougher on him. The usual hazards of an arranged marriage I believe. God save me if I have to resort to that some day.

Aparna Kar said...

Lol. Liked your perspective :D

Bubbles of FireWhiskey said...

i cant believe i am saying this, but i think girl 3 is the right option. girl 1 will never let him live down the fact that there was eve a girl 2... trust me... she will never forgive and forget...

ILA said...

look at Bubbles of FireWhiskey's comment. Similar to me?
Same pinch bubbly

Ranjan said...

too dramatic.
@PK move ur ass, do wht u wanna do! options are never limited. it could be talkin' to all 'f em once more to clarify wht u want. get it done.

sweet lucks.

intelligent_bacteria said...

I hope girl3 does not turn out to be a sister of girl1/girl2 ;)

Apugonnab said...

My take on it is - girl2 is more interested in proving a point, and not in him.. while girl1 liked him and feels led on, and thats probably why he is being called a liar!

I suggest he explain the situation to his folks, and work something out from there!!

This online system of marriage is so crappy..

Roy said...


Thanks for leaving that thoughtful words on my space.

I find it can b a good source for a great screenplay ..


Sam said...

find a third girla nd of your own free will thats what i'd tell him.... no judgement whatsoever.. start with a clean slate.. completely fresh...
though god save him if girl3 turns out be a frnd of girl1 adn girl2 or worst case, one fo their cousins!!! or may be their in-law (assuming the prev ones get married in teh meanwhile!!!)

alrite shoot me.. am thinking to much!! :D

Aparna Kar said...

And I thought Ekta Kapoor was crazy !

Sam said...

oh!! i cud sustain my bouts of insanity wud have sure given her a run for her money!! :P

Aparna Kar said...

Look at the brighter side- you could create a chart-topping soap opera filled with kitchen politics, unwanted pregnancies, confused heroes and know-it-all sisters-in-law.

Aparna Kar said...


The whole idea of marriage is creepy ! It's like a gamble where you bet on someone to be your companion for your life. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't. And the worst is- when it is not working out and yet you have to pretend that it is.

I had this debate in my mind for long- someday I'm going to post something on Love vs Arranged Marriage.

Aparna Kar said...

Lol.. the whole world is a stage.. Shakespeare didn't say anything original. And sometimes I'm surprised to find the drama that unfurls in every day life. No Greek classic, no Indian epic, no Western opera can completely contain what we can experience in a lifetime.

Aparna Kar said...

I wouldn't be surprised. Even if he decides to increase the periphery of his searchlight beyond his hometown.

Aparna Kar said...

Yeah- he needs lucks. Loads of it. But I'm a believer. I trust that everyone finds his/her own happy ending. :) Nahi to.. picture abhi baaki hai mere dost :D

Aparna Kar said...

@Bubbles of FireWhiskey
"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned. Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned." ?

You know what bubbles? I think it's as easy to live with someone and be happy as it is with the other person- it's what you believe that makes you more or less happy.

Eventually -it's you who creates happiness for yourself- loving someone else is just an excuse to live life. It can never be a reason.

Ranjan said...

So am I.
He'll make it, Even if he doesnt' may be there is somebody who needs the place more than him. Whatsoever, keep on writin' :p