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Saturday, August 26, 2006

Light and Shade

Me at Agra Fort,2006. Courtesy:Bro

This is a testimonial I recently got from an old school buddy-

"When you are all alone with ur back stuck against the dark wall of lonliness,when nothing seems right and monsters run in ur head, when life seems a never ending sea of misery and you have no shore of hope,when you are lost in a jungle and have no way to get out, when you believe death is better than life..... one moment that makes you pull urself up, the moment where you want to fight for a cause, the moment which makes u feel you are not a loser, and the moment you find that life is precious and misery is too little compared to the happiness that you've ever felt....yes... that lil moment which is far bigger and greater than your entire life....
.... is my dear " APU "

I had almost forgotten the happiness I was capable of giving myself and to others..
I can confess..I had forgotten to smile...

I had a junior named Anchal in college, who called on me just before I was about to leave after the completion of my course. She sat face to face in my hostel room and said -
"Lara* Ma'm...there is something I need to say..
You might have often wondered why I am so fiercely devoted to you.
I want to say that you had saved my life unknowingly.
One day I was very very depressed, and was contemplating suicide when I just happened to cross the canteen where I saw you laughing with your friends.
The ring of your laughter, and the smile on your face appeared so divine, so magical that I stopped for a while and wondered if this isn't what life is all about?
But what was I doing to myself?
The following day I came over to you to fetch a book..but that was just an excuse to know you better..and I haven't regretted it.
You have taught me to live...
Promise me matter what..
you will never let that smile of yours fade away...
If not for yourself, for thousands like me
who learnt to smile again after seeing you"

Needless to say, I was touched and I had promised her that day, I'd try my best.

For the past few months, my life has been one roller-coaster ride..and I am referring ONLY to my personal domain.

It has been a long chain of crests and troughs of alternate ecstasy and depression..until I reached a moment where I thought I'd go mad!!!

But there was this li'l moment which happenned..which made me feel..there was no yesterday..
And tomorrow is a vision of hope
Of wondrous joy,
Of happiness more than I thought I was capable of..

And I want to thank the person who brought it unto me

Thank you :)

(* I was nicked "Lara" by my father because I was an ace in figuring out secret passages in Tomb Raider..
and Ma'am coz our juniors had to address us as SIR or MADAM in college..)


candid diary said...

You at Agra Fort?
I thought it was Lara Croft in the opera house in Venice.
It's a good cheerful post. So, in the same postive tone - may I say -don't lose your smile & spread the smile.

Tapan said...

Nice one.. quite positive and touching...

Shashi Rajasekaran said...

never frown..cos u never know who is falling in love with ur smile

sangram said...

wow...always reminds of robin patch was an eye opener fr me :)..thr are so many keep sorrow at bay. ..nice post..keep smiling...

anandable said...

finally I am regular at your blog!!!
Keep writing.

saikat said...

hmmmm cant comment anything to this post...would rather reflect upon soltitude...i would have given everything i have just to get ur attitude...keep it up..n share the smile :)

PythoRoshan said...

its true..what goes around comes around..when we're down, its often a friends words from the past that shows us that "yes, WE HAVE MADE A POSITIVE IMAPCT ON SOMEONE'S life". Been going thru hell for awhile now, and its actually some of the oldest friends who've been reminding me that I've 'WORTH IT'..

PythoRoshan said...

P.S. Not related..but how do I get a jukebox :) loved the idea..wanted one for my blog..cant find the usual "CLICK here to get ur own" switch!!

Aparna Kar said...

Btw, a lil pep link
You are Mighty Aparna

Thanks Sangy :)

Aparna Kar said...


try this site for help in HTML tags
HTML Code for Embedding Windows Media Content

Aparna Kar said...

Incidentally, I was nicked "Lara" by my father because I was an ace in figuring out secret passages in Tomb Raider..

That reminds me, the Opera House in Venice was one of the toughest levels..where Lara Croft kept falling through the roof..until she astonished us with some amazing stunts and we found a way out..

P.S. Hope to lay my hands on TR-7..soon

One of my frnds is getting it for me

Needless to say..once I get the game..I will definately write a post about it..
Heard that the graphics are awesome :D

I am drooling already :P

Aparna Kar said...

Thanks :)
Keep visiting
Have u tried the new jukebox yet?

Aparna Kar said...

Yes, I have heard it often:)

But u know what?
I'd rather like someone who loves me even when I am sick and looking absolutely disgusting..and he would have the same warmth in his eyes and same conviction in his voice when he holds my face in his hands and says "I love you"
Did I hear someone say "Love Actually"? :D

Aparna Kar said...

Aha! Patch Adams
That's surely one of my all time favourites.
I particularly like the scene where the following conversation takes place, in the asylum where he is put:

Arthur Mendelson: How many fingers do you see?
Hunter Patch Adams: Four.
Arthur Mendelson: No no! Look beyond the fingers! Now tell me how many you see.
Arthur Mendelson: You're focusing on the problem. If you focus on the problem, you can't see the solution. Never focus on the problem!
See what no one else sees. See what everyone chooses not to see... out of fear, conformity or laziness. See the whole world anew each day!

:) Those who have watched the movie know the answer Arthur wanted to hear was "eight"..the reflection of his fingers in his eyes- four in each:)

And also the definition of Home By Patch Adams

Home. The dictionary defines it as both a place of origin and a goal or destination. And the storm? The storm was all in my mind. Or as the poet Dante put it: In the middle of the journey of my life, I found myself in a dark wood, for I had lost the right path. Eventually I would find the right path, but in the most unlikely place.

Aparna Kar said...

will keep writing:)
u make sure u keep visiting Sir :)

Aparna Kar said...

"i would have given everything i have just to get ur attitude..."

U don't need to :)
u have an attitude which is worth catching too :)

I have seen very few people in this world who give out positive vibes like u

Be what u r Saiki
Misery is little, too little for the happiness that lies ahead...

Just wanted to share a few lines from a Celine Dion's song I just happened to watched again..

When you want it the most there's no easy way out
When you're ready to go and your heart's left in doubt
Don't give up on your faith
Love comes to those who believe it
And that's the way it is

Hope u will remember it :)

rohitsahib said...

hey aparna,

lovely songs! ;- )

much love, rohit
P.S. these days i write it a lot. So, don't get me wrong. ;- ) not fallen in love.

Ruchika said...

Its a blessing to have someone in your life who can turn things around for you just by being there! You are really lucky to have someone to thank for having taught you to smile again, and who has brought the 'life' back in life! :-)

diabolic preacher said...

one little suggestion...probably benefitting those that stay long on your page just to hear the jukebox (not a bad bahana... :D ):

make the comments come in a new window coz i was listening to the bsb number that i liked and when i clicked the link to view comments music went pfft. again on reloading the page...afreen afreen...see what i mean...consistent flow of good music brokens down ;)

i suppose just me suggesting is an insignificant thing, but probably u'd care for ppl gettin bothered by popups n all, but don't worry good music'll be playing.

saikat said...

@ appu: yeah..thats the way it is :)

Aparna Kar said...


What a pity!!
That you are not in love with my blogspace yet :P
I am almost addicted to it :)

Aparna Kar said...


Yes, I feel blessed.
It's moment u r living life like never before...and the next moment u r did u ever manage w/o them?
It's wonderful..that's all I can say :)

Aparna Kar said...

@diabolic preacher
Wish granted..
2 more wishes left before the genie vanishes

Kidding! :D

Even I was thinking of it...thanks for reminding
But don't ask me to do the same for other links..
U either stay at my page and listen..or navigate away:P

saurabh said...

last 10 days has been a ride for me a never ending journey, with countless trows n no highs in sight, however i hope that i change my future cos i can take care of my present.

For the kid in you, I say "Keep Smiling"
For the Woman in you I say" Well Done"
For the Sage in you I say " Life is an ever changing journey, full of happiness and sorrows, you can't pick and choose anything but you need to live life with both pain and ecstacy"


diabolic preacher said...

naah re other links can be opened in new tabs...thanks for granting the wish.

3 wishes per post eh? :P

Arkus Caesar said...

sorry for not commenting on an earlier occasion...:)

Light and shade has always been a fave theme for me..i've even waxed poetic on this theme on my blog..
BTW that's an extremely well taken pic..

Arkus Caesar said...

i guess the only thing i have to add is this life is a roller coaster.. enjoy the downs, and take the ups in your stride..
this quote is copyright stuff!:)

Aparna Kar said...


about the pic..u know whom to thank :)

about ur quote..No plagiarism intended :P

Arkus Caesar said...

the warning was intended for less scrupulous members of your audience..:)

Arkus Caesar said...

aparna, how do i compile a play list??

rohitsahib said...

arre aparna! I was talking about the girl & not the blog. ; - )

Cheers, Rohit

phoenix said...

Whenever u feel low, just remember-
Shit does happen.

Saurav said...

u saved a person's life! thats a really amazing thing to do!!
And who's Lara ma'am? and why is a junior calling u ma'am? was that the norm in ur college or did u teach anything there? And why Lara?
and oh a little suggestion: that pic u've put up, 'light and shade', its very artistic, but try changing the contrast, (in photoshop or picassa).. it'll look great... on second thought, i just did it & it looks gr8, will send it to u :)

Aparna Kar said...

1. I didn'y save her life was probably only a direction she needed in her life..and if a small thing like a smile can tell her what she wants.. I think it's grt..
about "Lara"..see the 11th comment on this reply to candid
I was nicked "Lara" by my father because I was an ace in figuring out secret passages in Tomb Raider..

Got ur mail..will upload the pic in a while..
and thanks :)

Aparna Kar said...

oh ..and yes..our juniors had to address us as SIR or MADAM in college..
The first day of our intro session in first year we were warned against calling anyone Bhaiya or Bhabhi..LOL

saurabh said...


Aparna Kar said...


Aparna Kar said...

yeah..that's what I say...
Shit does happen..but then life is too short to muse over miseries and forget to count the blessings

anand said...

nice blog !!!!!!just kidding, actually beautiful testimonial by your junior.

Aparna Kar said...

that testimonial was from my old school mate...rather my classmate
and the later part of the italized stuff was said by a junior in my college...
next time around, read the post before commenting...
and dnt comment just for the heck of it...