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Thursday, November 30, 2006

Decode the female lingo

A friend of mine is presently the victim of "Adam-teasing" in his office. The female who is victimising him, owing to the most unfortunate device of the Devil himself , sits right behind him.
His plight, I find difficult to describe..and sometimes even more difficult to comprehend. And though he is terrified most of the times, I find the whole situation quite comical..much to the increment of his agony.
Sorry yaar! Can't help it.
Lolz..anyways, as one conversation leads to another, I discovered that no matter how different females are, they share a common vocab most of the times. So keep your dictionaries aside, and refer to this rather short word-list to know that what the girls are speaking is not Greek...but very much English.

Tweety : any fav soft toy. Typically the yellow canary in the Warner Bros- Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies series of animated cartoons. Be careful if a girl calls u Tweety..she might be hinting that she wants u as her soft toy.

Ghonchu: Any stupid guy whose gawkiness is rather cute. VERY special title. Be happy if the girl you like addresses u by that name. You need to qualify for this..oh trust me!

Stone-hearted: If she calls u this, it only means that she wants more attention from u. Now, if she's an ugly customer like that guy is facing, or rather has his back to's a pretty difficult job! (Sigh! I have my sympathies with you. May you escape unscathed )

Guy pal:
Typically the sexless, rather harmless creatures girls prefer hanging out with. Mostly for the comfort level they are eager to provide.

Boy friend: Rather confusing term and may have as many as 101 meanings and implications. Some girls mean they are simply dating him, some claim that they are romantically inclined, while others may say " He is just one step away from being ' my guy' "

My Guy: Refers to the guy she is ready to commit to or is already committed to. Even if he looks like a dry twig, don't wonder "What does this chap have that I don't???"..coz the female brain works in a mystical way..and the thought processes are very very very complex.

and finally

Any female who's interested in "My Guy" or " My Guy" is tendentious towards..hence a threat.

("Bitch" is an interesting word.. See comment box )


Nirek said...

thats interesting explanation for women world's lingos! :)

Anonymous said...

and you have one more friend who had requested you to post on a particular topic :)

Prasoon said...

He he ...

Interesting collection seriously.

Can u tell me this - where does "buddhu" stand - same as the ghonchu category but u are necessarily 'stupid' right?:P

n yeah - what do u call ur guy by? ;-)

saikat said...

rofl amazing post....well i can relate to some of those words :P as u might know :P ...n better if u dunno :D

n yeah some more lingos plz :D

wut abt sleeping beauty :D:D:D:D

Girl said...

Thanks ..will try to add more to the list as they occur to me

@ anonymous
Only if u cared to remind me agn..
I am terribly forgetful..have a very short-term memory :P

sorry..can't embarrass him in public..pretty ridiculous names I come up with sometimes.. :D

"sleeping beauty"
I guess someone who sleeps more than 8 hrs a day or at least when the girl wants to talk to the guy.
AFAIK, Saikat Bose was called so by someone I know..and for evident reasons.. As a matter of fact,it was ur status msg in Gtalk for a while..hai na? :)LOlz..

saikat said...

what evident reasons :P :P

n btw if someone stays awake the whole night its his sleeping rights to sleep during the day :P

also it wasn't my status id but it was by what someone both of us know had saved my name.

saikat said...

if u r interested in marketing and branding take a peep sure u'll like it...

Aparna Kar said...

@ saiki
hey thanks a ton..It is a treasure house !

zoxcleb said...

uhavent even mentioned the half of them!

your guy pal.. said...

bitch is a babe In total Control Of Herself..

Girl said...

@ zoxcleb
Would gladly mention them if they are mentionable..just remind me...

Aparna Kar said...

The Urban dictionary gives you an array of definitions. Some of which are..

A woman that doesn't give a flying f*ck anymore and that can and will be cruel to men.

A control freak that always thinks she is right, and constantly corrects everyone.

Word used to describe the act of whining excessively.

Term used to exclaim hardship.
X tells story to other cellmate, depicting how they came to be there, cellmate says* "Ain't that a Bitch!"

Oh yes, also the ancient meaning- a female dog ,
-"What a cute doggie! Boy or girl?"
-"She's a bitch."

If enunciated properly, the word bitch can be demeaning to the point of devastation. The key to success when using this form of slander lies within several factors of deliverance.

In ascending order of importance, these factors of execution include:

5. Audience
4. Voice Quality
3. Setup
2. Volume

"Bitch" (spiteful woman) in other languages:

Bosnian: kucka
Breton: louskenn , liboudenn
Finnish: narttu
French: chienne, salope, garce , chipie , rosse , putain
German: Schlampe , hure
Hungarian: kurva, ribanc
Interlingua: puta, putana
Italian: stronza , troia
Lithuanian: kale;
Norwegian: tispe
Polish: suka , dziwka
Portuguese: puta , vagabunda
Russian: cyka
Scottish Gaelic: galla , siùrsach
Slovak: kurva
Spanish: puta , culeda
Swedish: slyna , subba

As you can see, I am quite obsessed with this word.

BTW, my guy pal reminds me of the first ever definition I learnt at school as a kid, BITCH= Beautiful Indian Teenager Causing Heartthrob. pretty flattering :P

Aah! and one my fav T-shirt slogans read:
" 100% BITCH
Got a problem with that?"

Some attitude!!

Vinay Bhatia said...

You missed out on the Hindi term for a bitch

Hindi : Kutti, Kamini, Chalu

Was a nice blog to read!

Aparna Kar said...

Was a nice could I have forgotten!
But I was trying to make it sound glamorous rather than making it sound derogatory..

aashish_from_orkut said...

alright.. here is my deepest appreciation for ur jukebox collection.. as it turns out, barring 2 or 3, i like all of 'em!!! i donno whether it is ironic or wat, but finding a person wid almost the same music taste is serendipitous for me..

i m trying to download all!!! thank u so much! :)

Puru said...

Thanks a tonne for the appreciation. :)
Liked this entry..pretty creative. Will be here more often now...


saikat said...

well re read the post..n found the word ghonchu somewhere...if ur decoding was perfect :P ...thn guess i was lucky n maybe honoured in the past :)

Aparna Kar said...

Lolz..thn she must have liked u... anyways it's my patented name for someone with exclusive rights :P
U know who :)

p.s. oh btw, thr's somethng u dnt know too :D
Gotta tell u soon...

saikat said...

@ appu: waiting for the me up...'ll mail u the pics of bro.. asap....

u wont beleive it met someone today with that same name...n rt nw am sloshed out beyong imagination...dn thnk can take it nee longer...the point of no return is approaching fast...

arnab said...

It's about time that people (read women) start talking about such things, for the benefit of half of humanity! Though terms mentioned here are kinda obvious, even to guys, believe me. Now, women don't really talk about the cues (sometimes even non-verbal) that are actually hard to understand for those on the other side of "the great divide" :-)

BTW, why do you think the French have such a rich vocabulary for "bitch"? The immediate parallel that comes to mind is that of Eskimos and snow :P

candid diary said...

You have already found interesting pieces from urban DICTIONARY.
In uD ‘tweety’ is defined as an annoyingly chirpy bimbo who goes out with all your ex's.
‘Guy pal’ is not there in uD. A ‘gal pal’ is defined as a guy who hangs around with all the girls. This particular species befriends all the girls around him in hopes that his sensitive charms will somehow get him laid. Unfortunately for the gal pal, he shall never get laid for all the girls he hangs with shall never see him as anything past a good friend.
‘Boy friend’ is defined as someone that you love to hang out with and someone who you think you need. A guy who you come to depend on but someone that you always have at least one secret from, a wary feeling is always there. Is he for real? Is he gonna hurt me? Am I with the right guy?
‘My guy’ is used in a different connotation for greeting someone you know or someone you dont know.
There are 56 definitions of ‘bitch’ in uD : D
‘Ghonchu’ and ‘stone-hearted’ are not defined yet in uD – probably because Yankee lingo does not have them. Want to contribute these two words to uD?

candid diary said...

You have mentioned about verbal communication only.
If a guy is real ‘buddhu’ he will always miss out meaningful glances and other types of non-verbal communications between two gals : )))

Aparna Kar said...

@ candid
Lolz.. wud be so frustrating for a girl... but amusing "for girls"
But then, sometimes the dimmer ones become endearing.
Psychoanalysis will probably point towards some women wanting to "mother" their partners.

Thanks for the uD references ..made a pleasant read...

@ Arnab
will try and post about some non-verbal cues. ..before someone gets hired to kill me for betraying my half of the species

Hmmm..need to talk ... n mail me the pics whn u can..

Saurav said...

That was a fun blog! maybe I should write one on male vocab - but its bound to become X-rated!!!

SURJEET said...

Could you please deactivate this juke box. Its very irritating. And try to listen ain't no sunshine by bill withers... The 'Ain't No Sunshine' in your juke box sucks..

Aparna Kar said...

U must be opening from Internet Explorer.. coz I am using Firefox for browsing and it doesn't start automatically..
or else u cud use the stop button in the simple as that..

rohit said...

Pretty informative! And the list goes on and on to understand female/woman.But i`ve a question..girls would like the one sincere/Mr. perfect from the bunch of Ppl who throng her...wat abt the guy who don`t join that crowd,butis equally good or even more?