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Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Elephants can remember

Maybe they do.. But I believe happiness consists in having a selective memory.
They say " Honsho jotha Ombu modhhat"... just like the Swan manages to pick its food from muddy water... we should derive the essence of an event and remember only what is pleasant. You might argue - "But what about the lessons?"
I'd say..forgive those who have wronged you, but don't forget their names...

Never ...forget your lessons...though you will be pleasantly surprised to know that there are exceptions.

My theory of selective remembrance may well be equated to having your own version of truth. Yes. But you are not lying to yourself. Reality , is very relative. My perception differs from you. Your perception differs from your best friend's. But you guys have sticked together for years...haven't you?

A difference of perception -> different line of reasoning -> difference in opinion

will always exist. Some think logically. They stress upon existing facts and figures. Some depend on prior experience. Like the way my Dad predicts the outcome of an event is ..well...eerie!! He is nearly always right...experience taught him I guess.

Women are attributed to have more intuition... and sometimes they are equally correct in prophesizing a result. (Yeah Mom , I was thinking about you)

Youth is naive and they probably do what they want to..
The "want to " can be a direct consequence of peer pressure, the urge to get noticed or to remain invisible (it works either way).Could be nothing at all.. a mere absence of the knowledge that it is better to streamline your efforts to achieve desirable results.

At 23, I can hardly be categorized anywhere. I want to grow up..but I know I should learn how to .
Someone observed "You are quite wise"
I replied" Not as much as I would like to be"
But I don't have any compunction about it. By the time I am 100, and the reporters interview me to list the most memorable experiences of my life, I am sure I will have plenty to share including :
1. My visit to a Buddhist monastery nestled in the mountains.
2. Learning to play piano from someone I know.
3. Seeing my first snowfall, and catching flakes with my tongue.
4. Getting my first book published.
...
and of course those little things that have happened already :)
(will list later when I find time )

23 comments:

Aparna Kar said...

Dedicated to the absurdist who
said...said I have not been as original as I could have been in my last posts.
His special unwillingness to embrace the Youtube video of "If you are not the one " stimulated me to wait until I had something running in my mind.
A thought which actually comes and disappears in an instant if you don't pen it down.
so here it is..oven fresh :P
"Taakta" as you would say in Bengali ...lolz
Happy reading to my readers..
Until the next one
So long

candid diary said...

You probably meant 'taatka'. Right?
I will like to see your list growing to know you better.
Happy century & interview, in advance :D

Aparna Kar said...

yeah..TAATKA...that's what I meant..sorry abt the typo..
and news travels fast I see :)
and spreads too...Lolz..thanks for the wishes... I am a bit tensed rt now...

Anonymous said...

i did not understand three things:
1) interview??
2) taatka?
3) aparna kar is committed?

Aparna Kar said...

@anonymous
Could have replied if I knew who u are..

Vinay said...

You are becoming so philo day by day, that I already think of you as some 100 yr old, wise old nani.
But then, its the pic on your profile which remeinds me that you are only 43.....sorry, I mean 23 :-)

Aparna Kar said...

@Vinay
Oh how I wish I were 43!
I'd be the deadliest by then.. A woman who is sure of herself is so intimidating for men!!!

saikat said...

well one of the most memorable moments..playing latha lathi with u in pvr spice...still remember the horrified expression in the face of u knw who...really miss those days re... :(

abt my life rt now...dunno...hav no clue of where n y am i heading somewhere/anywhere/nowhere

havin a pathetic day...dunno y it has to happen to me only...neeways committed aha...news news...call up n explain :P ...till then keep smiliN

saurabh said...

43 and intimidating.. Really !!!
Even the most intimidating woman melts in a man's arms.
And I bet that man is BOND .. JAMES BOND.. Wish I could have said K , Saurabh K.. but naaa thats a far fetched dream.. ;)

saurabh said...

But coming back to your post.... I will just say 2 words " YOU'RE BACK "

:)

Anonymous said...

Nice posts ... U cannot guess who is writing this ...

Aparna Kar said...

@anonymous
Why this guessing game?
Y don't u use the "OTHER" option?

anandable said...

u are simply amazing....i love your philosophy about happiness...sometimes i wonder whether we are seeking happiness or just materialistic pleasure in this "Mayavi" world.

Aparna Kar said...

@anandable
"Happiness", for me, is an attitude. It is different from ecstasy or pleasure..both of which are temporal and the result of certain chemicals triggered in the body.
Biochemically, it is nothing magical.
But happiness is something u need to cultivate your capacity
for.
Material success does contribute to a sense of security and an overall feeling of well-being but it is not enough.
We are like the pearl oysters, each with a gem hidden inside. Oysters produce pearls by covering an invading piece of grit with nacre (a naturally-occurring organic-inorganic composite.) It might takes years for a pearl oyster to form a perfect pearl...And we might take years before we realise our true selves. For us, the grit could be the several experiences we go through our journey called life. ( personally, I believe there has to be a state of existence beyond that..but it's out of the scope this discussion right now)
It could be the knowledge that we are valued, treasured for what we are or for what we can contribute... the mere acknowledgement of our efforts goes a long way to bestow peace of mind.
But even these make happiness a dependent variable.
Real happiness should be free like a bird and it takes considerable strength of will and years of introspection to know the true "ME". Hindu philosophy calls it "Brahma-gyan".. the absolute knowledge.
When we are seeking "materialistic pleasure in this "Mayavi" world" (to quote you).. we are actually trying to find meaning to our existence.
An attempt to satisfy the eternal question -"what is the meaning of life?"
Our constant effort to leave a mark, to make a difference is our quest to find that meaning ...
So here I go, posting another post in my comment box.. those who have not fallen asllep while readin gthis, I 'd like to have a feedback from u...

PS. I am committed to an ideology, why does everybody think it has to involve a guy ?
TAATKA= "fresh or newly grown" in Bengali

Aparna Kar said...

@saikat
Hey, I miss the kick-boxing days too
My Van-Damme ishytle flying-kick will deteriorate without practice :(
And yeah.. the way she used to feel scandalized at our kicking each other in public..:P
Bro was quite neutral about it though..Lolz..he'd just say "Ae!"
I really miss those days Saiki...
Friends make it worth it...

Prasoon said...

Few People move by intuition while others move by facts as you rightly stated.
Only a few go by whats realistic n others stick to just plain facts overlooking the obvious - thats what irks and sometimes drives the hell outta me but then, those people never listen - never agree because their pov is quite different n at those moments, i chose to keep quiet n make an exit.

nothing more perfect than this - A difference of perception -> different line of reasoning -> difference in opinion

saikat said...

hehehe u can practise it over my pics :P...i bet it wont lose all the power :D

ya bro was quite neutral...neeways he was always yipppe in his own world :) .... n yeah she would have ran out of that place given the first opportunity but we were determined 'hum nahii sudhrenge' n u dunno abt the scoldings i used to get when left alone :D ...but needay 'll trade all my DNA strands for goin back to those days :)

Aparna Kar said...

@saikat!!
dnt tell me ! You poor poor soul..lolz
Btw DNA STRANDS?? what a queer idea !!! :P
I had almost forgotten how important they are to me!
Count on Saikat Bose to remind u of some precious, long-forgotten things :D

Aparna Kar said...

@prasoon
Glad u agree..
We holler our lungs out pointing out the differences between two people, while if we concentrated on the similarities, we'd have been happier.

I hardly argue with people, even with my closest ones. When I see the conversation is not making sense, I simply choose to keep quiet.

At least, not until either of us begin to see the other's point of view.

Sometimes this "silent treatment" can extend to months..
and I have found it to be more effective than any verbal opposition.

Anonymous said...

Though you listed the post under the label : rambling, I found the thoughts to be quite organized.
Any great work has a superstructure, and even apparently incoherent scribblings can have a pattern.
I have been trying to find one in your posts.
A psychology, a philosophy- something, anything.

saikat said...

ya u can always rely on saikat bose for reminding you of some precious long forgotten things...coz thats where he lives, in the maze of past

Aparna Kar said...

@saiki
If it is a pleasant indulgence once in a while, it 's aw-right..but when it impedes the vision of ur future, it is best left to oblivion.
I was a perpetrator of the formidable crime too..until I realised..my tomorrow can be a lot better than my yesterday, coz today the world is a little more my own.
I am not giving u tongue-in-cheek advice, it is a realization I want to share, but I am aware that no matter what I say...it'll be some time before you realize, it's so much wondeful to dream about a better tomorrow than dwell in a past that is gone and lost.

Aah! The charms of Nostalgia!
But spare me lady! I have a lot more to do ...I'll court you some other time

saikat said...

hmmmm even i was a firm believer in the theory of keep dreaming.....but then its those dreams of yesterdays which haunts now....therefore no more have the courage to dream new dreams....at least not at this present moment...