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Thursday, May 24, 2007

A suitable girl-II

I imagined Mom saying to Dad, “ I told you we should get him married off before he leaves for the States to study. At least we should have gotten him engaged to a nice Bengali girl”. And Dad giving his characteristic what-will-be-will-be look and turning the pages of the newspaper as if nothing happened.

I got rid of the idea and glanced again at the picture that bro had mailed me. He was holding his girlfriend in it. They looked so happy together that I almost forgot about the impending disaster- namely, what if my parents found out that their only son is dating a Chinese girl. Or as a matter of fact, any girl of Non-Indian origin.

I debated whether to be a dutiful daughter and let my parents know about it immediately or to be a devoted sister and wait for bro to tell it himself. Then, I saw the mail addressee. It had Dad’s email id too. I considered it safe to call home and ask how they felt about it.

Tring-tring. Mom picked. There is no necessity of any sort of preamble with this person at least. “Hey Ma, did you know about Dada’s girlfriend?” She was pretty cool about it. And she said that he had told her about it. Now it was my turn to feel hurt. And he did not tell me! Hmmph.

I thought Mom was the more prejudiced among the two, but I found Dad to be more conservative. “Is he serious?” Honestly, I did not know. And how did it matter even if he is? Mom opined that she is happy as long as her kids are happy. And she believes that they know what they want for their happiness. I smiled to myself.

Later, when bro got online, I asked him : What is her name? What does she do?
The usual stuff. He asked if Dad had seen the picture as well. I replied in negative. But I made the weather forecast above the abode of the Kars presently. Cloudy. Windy. Expected turbulence from an unexpected quarter. He laughed.

Then obviously, my very younger sisterly attitude: Tui amaay agey bolish ni! (You didn’t tell me before!). And he laughed again. I was trying to get the details of the relationship when he suggested I should get a Russian boyfriend for myself.

Me: Russian? I can manage to speak some German but Russian?
Bro: Ok. French then? They are passionate lovers. I will support you in your decision. Don’t worry. I giggled at the serious concern of my sibling over the abilities of my better half. Then I said- Thank you for your generous offer. But I am very happy with my present state of things.
He must have felt disheartened by my lack of ambition and adventure in case of personal affairs. But I think my parents have enough to worry about already. :D


passer by said...

lolz...china is invading the NE yet again..lemme see the mention it finds in the other blog..

Saurabh said...

I agree .. Le gayi Le Gayi , Dil Le Gayi Le Gayi :)

candid diary said...

This personal news comes at a time when a Chinese delegation, led by Vice Premier Madam Wu Yi, is trying to woo the U.S. about Chinese policy to develop economic and trade relations of both the countries. The U.S.A. is not impressed. Prejudice, Ha?

Aparna Kar said...

I don't quite see the connection but I can assure you my parents are far more liberal than the average Indian parents and this post was not meant to show them as being "prejudiced" about anything. In fact, I don't think they even believe that we need to share the same culture for a successful relation.
Decisions such as these are extremely personal and they are kind enough to give us the space we need. As long it is a biped and preferably of the opposite gender, I don't think they'll be worried.

Aparna Kar said...

I don"t think so. He doesn't write posts on his personal life. But I was expecting some kind of protest on my post. Let's see what qualifies as a protest :D

saikat said...


my browser does not show it properly but hope my efforts worked :D

i still remember last year when we used to hangout together with bro always with us..u always used to tease him abt a chinese/japanese gf :D ...we used to laugh our hearts out then...and yesterday when u broke the news to me..that was mah first reaction...'wow thats what we or rather u..used to tease dada about' :)

i do pray dada has a wonderful time with her and they enjoy each others company...let the party begin...say congrats to him from my side..hopefully with touch base with him on GT sometime for teasing him :P

neeways have enquired about her insanitY levels...well it's just for the insane club's sake :D ..we need to increase our head count u see ;P

Aparna Kar said...

Yeah, I remember teasing him about it and in Saket I almost got overboard. Transamerica effect I guess :P
Somehow I always pictured bro with an ultra-feminine female. If he came across a kick-boxer tomboy like me - I don't know what he'd have done :D
Btw, I am yet to discover how she is. Would love to meet personally anyone bro likes to spend time with. In fact, we have a knack of stealing each others' friends :P

P.S Remember the tag line of the movie? Life is more than the sum of its parts Makes more sense to me now

Aparna Kar said...

Any guesses?
How many tonnes of bronzer were sacrificed to give Kareena the tanned look in this video?

Arindam said...

I think there might be some commonality between the attitude of your and my parents in matters as this. I remember my mom (and dad) telling me not to have a "foreign" girlfriend (now that's a different story that I dont have one!), before I left India. And in a way they may even be right until we really can prove to them that a foreign girlfriend, and wife later on, is not necessarily unsuitable for us. Afterall, in love there are no chinese or american or indians...its only people who love each other.
In my opinion, this is a very pleasant challenge for us and we must rise to the occasion.
So, on one hand I do respect the feelings of your parents. On the other I do appreciate your brother's decision to have a "chinese" girldfriend. I only hope that this becomes a truly multinational family!
PS: I also think ur just fine with your 'present state' and should go strong...!

ats said...

happy for you!!

Aparna Kar said...

For me? :O
Or for my bro???

Aparna Kar said...

I feel it a bit queer though. Our parents send us across the seas to study or work but they expect us to marry someone from "back home". Though I'm not complaining. They might have their reasons. And quite reasonable ones too.
Dunno if we'll be a "multinational " family. Depends on bro's discretion. I leave it to him instead of making any predictions.
About your postscript, I believe it will.

Saurav said...

Yes your parents are very liberal. But I must say, nowadays parents, especially bongs have become kindof liberal. I'm hearing of a lottt of mix marriages lately, ya not too many Non-Indian ones though.
My parents were very (pleasantly) surprised when they found out I had fallen for a bengali girl. (My dad was reeeally surprised it wasnt a Punjabi, considering all my female friends were Punjus)
But I think they would have accepted as long as she was Indian. Non-Indian, I'm not sure though..

Aparna Kar said...

Hee hee. I can understand. My mom's greatest nightmare was probably having to talk to her son-in-law in any language other than Bangla or not being able to cook maachh for him. And my being perpetually surrounded by Punjabi mundas while in college didn't do much to allay her worries :D

I wouldn't say that our parents are prejudiced. It's just that they have certain expectations from us and our better halves. They don't seem to be certain whether an outlandish attempt will give them the same happiness.

But definitely their first priority is always the happiness of their kids. I don't think my parents will protest if I think I'll be happy with a Non-Bong, or even a Non-Indian. Though the later might take longer time for me to convince them.

Priya Ranjan Singh said...

dramatic family ;)
its interesting for sure.