A Suitable Girl- III : Attributes and Decision-making

Last evening, Peter was explaining attributes of a product to the MGT 670(Marketing Management) class and how it can influence the decisions of consumers. He cited the example of himself some twenty years ago when he was "a young, wild chap from Indiana", fresh out of college who had just arrived in Boston to work as a professor. He came across another young professor named HK who was American-Chinese and they decided to share an apartment.

Being the "young, wild chaps" they were, they dated around quite a lot. Sometimes they went by themselves, and sometimes they double-dated. However, every Friday or Saturday evening, they would meet in the apartment after their respective dates and compare notes. Peter would ask "So HK, how was the girl A?" And the answer could be: "Oh man, she was a real stunner!" Now 'stunner' meant someone who walks into a pub and turns the heads of men to obtuse angles.

The following week, HK dated some other girl named B say, Peter would ask the same question to HK when he got back, and he would probably say: "She was not that good looking, but boy was she fun !" Peter might then ask, "What about the girl last week? Wasn't she fun?" HK: "Oh no- she looked good all right, but she was a real dodo!"

The week after that HK might have gone out with girl C who was decently good looking, was fun and highly intelligent. Then somehow HK discovered that the good looking dodo had a father who owned like half of Massachusetts.

Now, HK had to decide which girl to get committed to. Given the weightage he attached to each of the attributes, it is needless to say who the bride was in the wedding a year later where Peter was the best man.



Now, if A was into attributes marketing, she could have articulated the fact that she was gorgeous and her father was a wealthy man who could have helped HK with his career ahead or something like that. A's attributes of "gorgeous looks" and "wealth" would forever hold true ,id est, HK would remember her for that. Nevertheless, you or I or he would focus on the attributes that appeal to the individual taste/requirement the most. It's like Volvo advertising its "safety" when you are out there to buy a car or BMW emphasizing on the style quotient even though its mileage is Subhan-allah.

In a separate incident, a previous student of Peter had issues trying to decide which systems to buy for her firm where there were three RFPs. The accounting department obviously wanted something with good capacity to deal with realms of data, the Finance Department stressed on the price, the Engineers wanted speed and Operations wanted reliability. And when it was time to decide what weightage to give to what attribute- all hell broke loose. Finally, it was resolved by sticking to a well known brand name, even though it was not the optimum decision in every way. But her rationale was: "Hell, no one ever got fired for choosing to buy IBM !"

Now, all the guys and gals out there, still wondering what/whom to choose, get your pen and paper out and good luck !

A suitable girl-II

I imagined Mom saying to Dad, “ I told you we should get him married off before he leaves for the States to study. At least we should have gotten him engaged to a nice Bengali girl”. And Dad giving his characteristic what-will-be-will-be look and turning the pages of the newspaper as if nothing happened.

I got rid of the idea and glanced again at the picture that bro had mailed me. He was holding his girlfriend in it. They looked so happy together that I almost forgot about the impending disaster- namely, what if my parents found out that their only son is dating a Chinese girl. Or as a matter of fact, any girl of Non-Indian origin.

I debated whether to be a dutiful daughter and let my parents know about it immediately or to be a devoted sister and wait for bro to tell it himself. Then, I saw the mail addressee. It had Dad’s email id too. I considered it safe to call home and ask how they felt about it.

Tring-tring. Mom picked. There is no necessity of any sort of preamble with this person at least. “Hey Ma, did you know about Dada’s girlfriend?” She was pretty cool about it. And she said that he had told her about it. Now it was my turn to feel hurt. And he did not tell me! Hmmph.

I thought Mom was the more prejudiced among the two, but I found Dad to be more conservative. “Is he serious?” Honestly, I did not know. And how did it matter even if he is? Mom opined that she is happy as long as her kids are happy. And she believes that they know what they want for their happiness. I smiled to myself.

Later, when bro got online, I asked him : What is her name? What does she do?
The usual stuff. He asked if Dad had seen the picture as well. I replied in negative. But I made the weather forecast above the abode of the Kars presently. Cloudy. Windy. Expected turbulence from an unexpected quarter. He laughed.

Then obviously, my very younger sisterly attitude: Tui amaay agey bolish ni! (You didn’t tell me before!). And he laughed again. I was trying to get the details of the relationship when he suggested I should get a Russian boyfriend for myself.

Me: Russian? I can manage to speak some German but Russian?
Bro: Ok. French then? They are passionate lovers. I will support you in your decision. Don’t worry. I giggled at the serious concern of my sibling over the abilities of my better half. Then I said- Thank you for your generous offer. But I am very happy with my present state of things.
He must have felt disheartened by my lack of ambition and adventure in case of personal affairs. But I think my parents have enough to worry about already. :D

A suitable girl

Khushwant Singh once said: When you want to see the worst examples of urban prejudices- where do you turn to? The matrimonial ads columns!

A friend of mine recently voiced the same concern and said that he was unlike the prejudiced Indian males and had very few expectations from his life partner. He even helped me script a matrimonial ad which I promised to put up in my blog, which , according to him has viewers from all over the world. (I could have denied it but ..unfortunately he knows the many uses of site meter)
So here it is:

Wanted Bride.
Young, slim, fair and extremely beautiful. Highly educated. Should earn in six figures but should not mind giving away her salary to husband on the day of pay. Should have good mix of Eastern and Western values. Must enjoy cooking Indian food. Must have a great sense of humor (read:be amused by my poor jokes). But should not laugh too loudly. We will measure the length of her smile with a tape and tell her the perfect fits for respective occasions- so don't worry about it.
Should have impeccable social etiquette.Should have an ear for Indian Classical music. Should be an exponent in Bhajan-kirtaan.
Should be back before 8 pm everyday. Should not complain when asked to do domestic work after long office hours because we plan to get rid of the maid after I get married. Should not mind if the decision to have a child is unilateral, i.e, mine. Should not make it a ground to file for divorce.
...And if at all we settle for an innocent divorce, should not ask for alimony.

Here's a pic of my friend while heading for office.

Don't mind the hooves and horns. Despite the misleading appearance, he's a very gentle soul.
For close ups please mail to mrtaurus@hotbull.com

(LINK: Case of Samar Ghosh vs Jaya Ghosh,Mental cruelty to spouse, Supreme Court )