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Tuesday, September 05, 2006

"Aur Batao" Syndrome


Is this happening to many of us…? All of us who are caught up too much with our work etc… Is there no time for personal life?

A recent forward cited the following conversation between two professionals.
P1--hello
P2--hi
P1--hey h r u???
P2--m fine!!! Wht abt u???
P1--m fine too.
P2--cool
P1--so howz life???
P2--gud
P1--hmmmm
P2--aur batao? ( passing the ball to the other side)
P2--hmmm everything as usual...
P2--so wht else???
P1--nothing much
P2--ok
P1--aur batao? (Passing the ball to the other side)

And it goes on like this ..

It's true ..the world has grown smaller..
but somehow we seem to have grown farther apart..

It's like you might be sitting just next to a person and yet feel some light years away from each other... (like that song from Mohiner Ghoraguli.. )

79 comments:

anandable said...

so true... how do you manage to write about such amazing...fine things of life...your blog rocks Madam!!!
Aur batao?

Vinay said...

Ur 3rd blog this week. Good that you are able to find time for what u like doing the most.
Aur batao....

Vinay said...

I was feeling happy that I am the first one to write a comment on this post.
But it seems that by the time I clicked on Login & Publish, someone else snatched that honour :-)
Well, maybe next time!!!

sushant said...

so very true..

kya bataye said...

aur batao.... wat else?

sangram said...

aar bol ki cholche :D...barite sab bhalo to...kaaj kormo bhalo cholche nischoi..life e o kono tension nei aasha kori...wht else..aar to kichu roilo i na...so lets start our conversation yet again...how r u ...i hope everyone is doing great on ur home front...work front must be great...nd i m sure..u have no worries related to life...life is smooth and beautiful.....wht else :D....nd the story goes on and on ...in an infinite loop...in a never ending saga...:D....nice small post...u wanted to say something...and its transparent in ur 10 liners.. :D.

Aparna Kar said...

@sangram

Lolzzzz

Aabol-tabol

Aparna Kar said...

@aur bataye

Gawd!! I didn't know it's so contagious!!

Aparna Kar said...

@vinay
Yes.. the stress at workplace has waned a bit..
so am taking time to scribble something..

Lara croft had to be there..was thinking of scripting something about her since long

Though I wish I didn't have to write that post about Steve...the news came as a shock..

Btw, this post has been inspired by many..
and specially by a phone conversation I had last night.
I always find myself at a loss of words when confronted with the question "Aur batao"

It's not that I always talk a lot..
for a girl who writes so such,I am rather reticent..and rather infamous for ending conversations abruptly and apparently for no reason..specially when I am in office

But even I have those "talking fits" and then I can blab for hours together..about the most incoherent things ..
I mean.. I might be discussing movies with you..and then hatch a plan to get myself kidnapped..imagine the situation ..giggle mindlessly..and the very next moment reflect deeply on the philosophy of life..

Someone once described me as both "an intellectual braniac and absolutely stupid"
I couldn't agree more :P

P.S.@"I was feeling happy that I am the first one to write a comment on this post."
yeah..there's always a next time:)

Aparna Kar said...

@sushant

I'm glad u agree:)
Most of us are either the victim or the vector of the disease :D

Aparna Kar said...

@anandable

Sheesh...
Aur kya batau? :P
I am getting Aurbatao-phobic

Btw, Thanks sir :)
Keep visiting...

Praveen said...

aur batao :P

Rohit Arondekar said...

true very true ...
it works in english too, like "what else ?" :(
As usuall a very interesting/nice post!

zoxcleb said...

....and what else?

:-)
waiting for the continuation!

Slave said...

She isn't my Mistress...but i have to admit that i feel like nothing but Her slave when She commands.
Please dont ask me now, 'Aur Batao'...for i would be able to do so only when She commands me further, and i am all set, "Aur batao" :)

Aparna Kar said...

@Slave
if u r RKG..then better start behaving urself :P
U said u r addicted to mah blogs..dint ya..:D

Now u say..I command you!! Hee Hee

Btw..proceed slave..
Your master ( or mistress?..whatever) commands !

Aparna Kar said...

@zoxcleb

aha!!

Long time no see
The assignments are taking their toll eh?

will continue once I decide what I want to write further..

Aparna Kar said...

@rohit

so what do u do when someone asks u "what else?"

Aparna Kar said...

@praveen
kya batau?
aap puccho to sahi..

see the whole thread of conversation gets lost because we don't make specific queries...

saikat said...

hehehe koi humse bhi puche aur batao...tab tak bataenge jab tak woh khud ape sar ke bal pakadke ye na cheekhe plzzz aur kuch na batao :D

on a serious note....appu if u listen to bangla bands...listen to a song called prithibita naki chhoto hote hote by Mohiner Ghoraguli ...i think the song very well expresses what u wanted to say in ur posts

keep smiliN :)

P.S. - am leaving for cal next week for 3 months

candid diary said...

In my profession conversation starts with 'Kya Khabar?' and ends with the same question. In reply, you are expected to tell all types of fabricated stories about your colleagues. If you do not play the game you are not liked by many people.
I like your posts coz you do not write things about your office colleagues.

Aparna Kar said...

@saikat
will do..
kintu...hotath kolkata?
se ki rey?
kaaj naki..

I read ur comment in Candid' post..
U were in hospital..??
ki hoyechey tor?
call me in the evening n let me know..

till then tc..
and happy batao-fying

Aparna Kar said...

@candid
I don't like discussing people...
events or ideas are better subjects.

saikat said...

sharir kharap chalche koyek din dhare...a mixture of BP n insomnia...

cal kaje jaachi...phone korbo take...tc..

raunak said...

why this aur batao syndrome...

alrite it happens and it happens wid all of us who r comin online everyday either frm their workplace or frm their college.The bottomeline is tht it is happening and most of d time it is just tooo intriguing to know as per why this syndrome is takin place and tht too frequently?

Well, being an avid net user I hv personally felt tht this syndrome coming into the play only whn I really wanted to talk to the other person till eternity but I or s/he are fallin short of the topics on which we can talk. It is those times whn we pratise this aur batao syndrome in a hope tht while undergoin thru this syndrome we MAY find something interesting to talk on.Don't ask me d success rate but yeah I can tell u tht it's worth trying. :D
On the other hand if thr is someone(applicable to both d genders, I am not a male chauvinist neither I am a feminist :P) buggin me thn this syndrome will not even last for a second and the talk will b ephemeral and nothin more thn tht...

to cut if short this syndrome is creepin into d life of every person but it has its own reasons and psycologies.So d nxt time u feel this syndrome, atleast pay some heed to tht person coz tht person really wants to talk to u and it's just a matter of fact tht s/he is short of topics worth chatting and tht's why s/he is practising this aur bata syndrome :)

ciao

Slave said...

She called me...and i had to come again.

For me, it has always been someone else asking, 'What else'?. And i keep telling them about things...After sometime, they would ask again, 'What else'? But the bright side is i dont have a girlfriend :)

This is indeed a very good point. Why do such things happen??? Is it just to end the conversation, or make a new begining? or...Do you people remember the times spend in labs..when profies used to ask, "What else"?

many incidences..of which i remember this one:

"I was trying to describe myself..." but this question, "What else"? :))

Aparna Kar said...

How does "not having a gf" ease things for u? :O
I found it a bit off-track
Would you care to explain?
Did u mean that not being in a relation helps in not making people unnecessary curious in ur personal affairs?

Slave said...

I didnt expect you to find it off-track!!

But..i would care to explain ;)

Girlfriend might keep on asking what else do you like about me, what else you have brought for me...What else..what else..what else..

But,one more reason because of which i said that is:

If she asks me what else do you want? Or Any of the "what else's" mentioned above..i would just feel 'what else' i could have given in my relationship!

ZM4 said...

k: bolo bolo tell tell..... What about the rest of the conversation......?
A: dint u see... it is to be continued...
k: oo.. maine dhyan nehi dia....
A: did you write any comment..?

k: i ll write it later...
A: ok..

k: aur bata....
A: tu bata......

k: are tu bata na....
A: mey kya batau.... to bata...

k: Fine...Its over.. i am feeling
sleep... bye
A: byeee...
KHATTACKKKKK....!!(Kept the phone)
2 min later
Ring! Ring!
A: Hello
DSS: Hey.. whats up... how are u..?

A: I am fine .....
................................................................................................................. AUR BATAOOO...?????

zmw said...

@zm4
A, K, D, S and S sound eeriely familar...

BTW, r u accusing me of being mean to u :P

what can I do if I find nothing to say to u?
U always make me sleepy... lolzzz

Aparna Kar said...

@slave
Then I presume u have never been in a fulfilling relation.
Girl friends are not old hags who keep demanding things all the time..

and if u ask me..most of the time..the girl puts in more efforts than the guy does to keep a relation alive (if she is serious, that is)

But when things don't work out...
no one should blame the other..

It's like Tevya says in the movie ""Fiddler on the roof":

"A bird might fall in love with a fish..but where do they build their home together?"

When there are more differences than u can bridge,
and when two people don't undertand each other..the conversation ends there..

Aparna Kar said...

I know this is crazy..but it's fun too..
well..most things which are crazy..are fun too I guess :P

Googlism for: Aparna

Not that all the results are cheerful or make sense..

This Aparna will NEVER be a housewife,

Aparna is not in Pittsburgh, (her brother is)

Aparna does NOT intend to marry any guy named Gaurav

This Aparna is not a Capricorn, she's a Virgo

Aparna "wants" to be a management professional

PHEW!!

Type out your names..and have fun :P

Aparna Kar said...

But yes,

Aparna is a lot more mature now

Aparna was a member of the renowned Holy Cross school choir

Aparna is totally sold out to the concept of simplicity

Aparna is inherently driven to seek truth and to connect with people in a way that is beneficial to both herself and others

Aparna is both passionate and vocal about her love for semantics

Aparna is involved with some projects

Aparna is already in the 20's

and yeah...
positively
affirmatively
certainly
without doubts...

Aparna is very nice
:D (Grinning from ear to ear)

Aparna Kar said...

@raunak
Interesting perspective u have there..

U might be right as well..
It's usually during those marathon chat/phone sessions that happens..when the query is so posed..

Maybe I should get kinder now :)

ZM4 said...

k said that he feels sleepy.... not A..!

yes....
K for Kolkata
A for Agartala
D for Deccan Plateau
S for Sunset District
S for South End Historic District

get it........

zmw said...

I guess it's somniferous for both..that is why A doesn't pick up K's calls in the first place...

anyways...
u deserve applause for the embedded meanings.. :D

saikat said...

appu having with googlism eeh :P ... my tryst with it ended in disaster..as u must have seen in one of my posts :D

tc..keep smiliN :)

diabolic preacher said...

i hav met the 'aur batao' types already and am yet to get into any profession. a part of the blank mind of mine comes from me pouring out a lot of details on my journal and wondering whether http://pintooo15.livejournal.com will be a good reply. i mean it tends to be a problem for my friends n all who don't have internet access. dara site ta khule bolchhi. one more reason i'm at a loss for words for that 'aur batao' serve is my limited mindset focussed on my interests only...unless someone speaks of their own and i get a bit wiser about that stuff as well.
i like the 'aur batao' types coz conversation seems to end much quickly...less phone costs and more friends to chat with without gettin' too busy :P

ab batane ke liye baki hi kya rah gaya?? :)

Rohit Arondekar said...

@aparna
when somebody says 'what else' I say you tell :P

Anonymous said...

hmmm....

to aparna madame 'aur bataiye'...kaisan hai aap??

laloo

(hope u remember the 'Ol orkut days }

Aparna Kar said...

@anonymous
Lolzz
yeah..how can I forget, Jijaji :P
How's Rabri Didi? :)
but why do u prefer to be anonymous I will never figure out..welcome to my blogspace

But I'd prefer if u post ur comment using the OTHER option and then using name as as "Laloo" instead of posting as anonymous..from now on :)

Looking forward to seeing more of u
Bonjour Monsieur

Aparna Kar said...

@rohit

Lolzzz
And it's an infinite loop... :D

Aparna Kar said...

@saikat

Saw that ..got the idea from ur post

Others can check Saikat's post and Candid's post
where they are having fun with googlism

Aparna Kar said...

@diabolic
Lolzzz I do the same when someone has too many queries..I forward the link to my blog :)
some people who know me close enough do it themselves, first update themselves with what's going on in my blog and then strike a conversation..this way we can avoid redundant questions and talk about more stuff...:)

Though, off-late, I have been silent about my personal life and been focussing on other things..

Simply coz, if I start scribbling about "What's going on" right now..I'll probably have to script down a novel..

Life!! Aaha! And its wonders!

Anshuman Ghosh said...

yes, these kindof conversations are quite often (although not with me, cause I always have truckloads to share 'gyan' about :-D )

btw, why put a site counter after every post ? was that unintentional, or being intentionally haughty ? :-P

Aparna Kar said...

@anshuman

Not after every post :P
The site meter keeps track of visits on my page :)

Good to know someone has so much to talk about...

btw how many truck loads of "gyan" do u have ?

Aparna Kar said...

@anshuman
P.S. Where did u get that profile pic?
it's kinda cute...

and where is the figure heading towards?
The journey seems endless..
A path of self discovery?
eh?

diabolic preacher said...

hmm...there's just to much of news and events and stuff to share with everyone that i wonder whether i'm silent about my personal life or the personal life is silenced by the overload of these impersonal posts.
i still try to put in some stuff that's related to my life but then that's just to take an obligatory break from the nerd image that is wrapped around me...bringin in all the wrong reactions.
sometimes it's difficult to decide who am i writing for...given that the blog is public.
Simply coz, if I start scribbling about "What's going on" right now..I'll probably have to script down a novel..
maybe u shud scribble "what's not going on" ;)

Anonymous said...

and the again you might be light years away and yet feel ur rite next to your loved ones :) aint it

Aparna Kar said...

@anonymous

"All you who sleep tonight
Far from the ones you love,
No hand to left or right
And emptiness above -

Know that you aren't alone
The whole world shares your tears,
Some for two nights or one,
And some for all their years"

"then again you might be light years away and yet feel u r right next to your loved ones"
True :)


"Willow in your April gown
Delicate and gleaming,
Do you mind in years gone by
All my dreaming?

Spring was like a call to me
That I could not answer,
I was chained to loneliness,
I, the dancer.

Willow, twinkling in the sun,
Still your leaves and hear me,
I can answer spring at last,
Love is near me! "

mahant said...

Aparna,

Seems words are just a ruse to have some time together. Instead of inaction, you call someone to hear their voice and then all the words you had practised vanish. So instead of "I love you" you say "Aur Batao".

Aur Batao!

Mahant

rahul said...

Tell somehting abt u......means or batao....

Aparna Kar said...

@rahul
???
Oh really!!

Aparna Kar said...

@mahant
Confusing...
:?

Aparna Kar said...

When Thomas Edison invented the light bulb,

He tried over 2000 experiments before he got it to work.
A young reporter asked him how it felt to fail so many times.
He said, " I never failed once. I invented the light bulb.
It just happened to be a 2000-step process".

mahant said...

Aparna,

Sorry about confusing you. When two people meet in person, most time is spent in silence, because very few can be creative all the time. It is awkward on a phone, so we fill it with words. One way is to look at the why of the conversation rather than what of it.

Mahant

Pratik Chowdhury said...

nice one Aparna....

this reminds me of an instance near a std booth in kolkata, a pathan had just entered the cubicle and spent 20 minutes just saying ' isko mera salaam....usko mera salaam'....he ended up saying 'salaam' to the entire village I guess'....and then all of a sudden banged the phone down when he noticed the phone bill :D

I guess technology has taken away our ability to express ourselves as much as it has narrowed down our virtual distances !!

tc

Ruchika said...

Yeah, I really dislike it when I've raved and ranted for half and hr and then the person turns around and says 'what else' or 'aur batao' in reply! Its like they are not really interested in the conversation, but just have to speak for some time, so trying to fill the time with 'aur kyas'!! It happens mostly when speaking to guys... if a girl doesnt have anything else to talk about, she doesnt pretend to drag on with the conversation!!

praval said...

Rightly said ! And yeah.. a nice blog !

prasoon said...

my aur batao's never end quicker - i simply dont let them end quicker.. am actually on a diggin spree when I say "aur batao" !! :P

Tyler_Durden said...

One would be tempted to go with the flow and say yes, people don't care about each other any more... but that's not necessarily true... maybe it just seems that way because the things that once were special occasions, like speaking to a friend you haven't met in a year, are now not such a big deal, because everyone's just a phone call or a mouse click away... and not having news to deliver or new things to share every time is not too astonishing either... but at least people have more frequent 'aur batao' sessions with the people they care about... then of course there's the element of greater choice... you don't have to speak to the jerk sitting next to you, you can feel light years away from him or her... you can be with the people you want to be with...

Devashish said...

I have a different perspective/opinion on the topic. Letme share it with you:

'aur batayo', although cliche, seems to me to be a necessity in any conversation... a necessary component of any general/informal timepass talk. If it weren't there then many ppl would never put some pressure on their brains to say something & continue the conversation & will cause the conversation to cease abruptly. It is in a way a conjunction, a balancing tool, or an adhesive which can keep a conversation together & going. Neither side may be wanting to end the converstation as yet, but both of them running out of (the immediate) stuff they had to speak, temporarily.. what to do now?? here's when, what else/aur batayo, comes to rescue..! :) and pulls or prods the conversation forward.
One thing that we can do (or 1 ting tat can be suggested imho,) is not to use the same word(s)/phrase repetitively, in the same conversation atleast.. This would prevent the conversation from turning moronish/dumbish.

To aparna: nevertheless, point well taken (& well put). Your post is articulate and touches a sensitive (though obscure) topic in our daily lives!:)

Athul said...

happy Birthday

mahant said...

Happy Birthday, Aparna.
Mahant

Anonymous said...

ok i will say something different, I just called to say I lOVE Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Anonymous said...

oh an happy bday to u tooo :)

diabolic preacher said...

is it possible to disable autoplay of your jukebox? load hote shuru korle aamar slow connection e baki aar kichhu load hoye na. but then perhaps shudhu aami ei problem face kori.

Aparna Kar said...

@dp
use the stop button....
while I see what can be done...

diabolic preacher said...

your player looks similar to the XSPF web music player http://musicplayer.sourceforge.net/

there's an example below to toggle autoplay. see if that is the thing

candid diary said...

What else?
Busy?
Has time come for something else, a new post?

Aparna Kar said...

@candid
wondering wht to write about...
any clue ? :)
maybe abt my b'day :D

saurabh said...

hi how r u doing long time no talk

saurabh said...

aint no sunshine when she's gone

saurabh said...

check out my blog

Aparna Kar said...

The Vande Mataram controversy seems to be over- a very brief, self-contained fire that died out without many embers left behind.

Because for some political parties it was all about singing the song on a particular day. Because for many others it was all about not singing it that day or any other- and they had their way. For even others it was about singing it but supporting the right not to sing it too. Maybe for the rest- it was just about - huh? Vande what? Well, never mind.

Read the rest..
Here

Aparna Kar said...

NEWS STICKER

Why do I see the world I believed in..fast disappearing?

Girl raped for wanting to study

Anonymous said...

to ur thomas edison story ..it was actually what he said was that.....
it was what he learnt was 2000 way of not making a genine bulb..
so it always about learning ur weaknesses before u pull up the suceess key right from the bottom....variagated sky is a lovely blog to seek upon ones life experiences that can be well proven by the words one may choose.....i know u never repeat but besides ur self motivatin i believ u can..as far as how ...there lies the rub...and guys beleive be u need to reaaly rub ur hands strong to get an edge over her..so keep bogging!!!!

Aparna Kar said...

@anonymous
Whoa! Seems like u know me quite closely..why do u post under anonymous :)
anyways..next time dnt be in a hurry.or at least get a spell check done :D
TC

sumoleh said...

My dear Aparna the problem wid u is dat u know more than ur experience but u r not able 2 put urself in position 2 deal WID URSELF.I cant help u. But I can tell u dat whatever u put on ur words practice it. U WIL FIND DIFFICULT. U wil find my blog blank b'coz till now i coudn't find myself on terms what can i say.