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Saturday, May 03, 2008

You don't need to say it

It's strange how two people can communicate without understanding each other's spoken language. KM's mother had been visiting us for a while and she is not functional in any language other than Telugu. And my knowledge in Telugu encompasses Manchi= good and Banti = ball, that too, after interacting with her.

Last weekend, KM's maternal aunt and her family came over. They had a beautiful kid who was a real smartypants. I told his Mom that he'll be one lady-killer someday." He speaks with his eyes !" She laughed and said, "People often say he'll grow to be a big flirt." Dunno what the kid understood, but he gave me a shy smile, hid his face behind a chair and peeked at me from there.

I love kids. It felt so good watching him while I took a tea break. I had hardly come out of my room in two days, busy with some end-sem submissions. Though I have this temptation too and I admit it often, I never resort to pulling the cheeks of children because I think they deserve to be treated like adults and with some respect. Also, I believe I never liked my cheeks getting pulled when I was a kid. It was humiliating.

When they were gone, I hugged aunt saying that "I'm so glad to have you here. This house feels like home now." She comprehended the essence and she hugged me back with affection.

On Wednesdays, I don't have classes this semester. So, when she asked "U.. me.. sea" I understood she wanted to go by the bay for a walk. She even suggested I take my beach ball with us. Though, when she said "Baal" I thought something is wrong with my hair (which I am usually fussy about) and touched my hair and looked at the mirror. Then, I realized that she probably wanted to take the ball I had bought the other day when we had gone shopping.

We went out to the bay, chit chatted for a while. She told me how she had been married after her 10th Standard and was pregnant in a year's time. She began reading again after her kids started going to school. It was nice trying to figure out what she said, and I felt - everyone has a story; it's so fascinating to listen!

She had mentioned it to KM that I am very good at expressing without even speaking. Probably one of the best of the better kind ( read : Chemical properties vs physical properties) of compliments I ever received. I opined- "It's not enough to be able to express. You need someone to understand you too." It wouldn't have been effective if she didn't make an equal effort.

Sometimes, we don't wish to speak. Sometimes, we can not. But each time we hope that someone will understand us. Humans are strange creatures, eh?

15 comments:

passer by said...

its unfair when someone is blessed with expressive eyes and is also verbose when there are other as dumb as yours faithfully..

don't know about you..but KM's aunt is right for sure..

on a lighter note..why would you just limit your self to manchi banti

Saurabh said...

and yet, we still seek people to hear us out...

Emotions and expressions don't need a language to bound them.
I was watching Nayagan it's a tamil movie by Kamal Hassan. I do not know Tamil but I was watching it quite intently :D

sejuti said...

I know what you mean aparna..i have come across so many situations like this during my undegrads in chennai since i dont know much of Tamil. Be it Tamil/Telegu/Malayalam movies or jokes i've enjoyed them all at times, while feeling left out and missing my mother tongue at times. Also, my mom is more comfortable conversing with my brother's and my friends (hindi-speaking) in Bengali while they converse in Hindi and it sure works. I also wonder how people can pick different languages for the sake of their loved ones, like my sister (Bengali) is now fluent in Telegu, while my aunt (Telegu) is fluent in Bengali.

sejuti said...

i can surely imagine that you are good at expressing. i do remember your acting skill, remember truth and dare with ratno and gang tat day and ur role in it ;).. twas hilarious...

Sam said...

do u remember the movie pushpak??

anywyz, eyes are said be the window to your soul.. and believe me they are!! i don't think am too expressive... but then i do find understanding someone's thoughts and intentions clearly... if there is corresponding body language!!

though at times you don't need body language... all u need is purity of thought and the ability to express without saing much!! :)

Aparna Kar said...

@sejuti
Lol. It's strange that you mentioned it 'cause I was thinking about it a while ago. RC said he'll never forget it. I bet :D

Btw, it's nice to see you on my blog after a while. Sem end blues I believe? Same here. Thought I will go to sleep. But decided better. :D And am going back to a case study now.

"...people can pick different languages for the sake of their loved ones" I can understand what you mean. Spoken language is just a medium to express our feelings. Remember Colin Firth learning Portuguese to be able to propose the girl in her language? And her learning English while he was away?

I never thought culture or language can be an inhibition. It's the difference in perception that makes people grow apart :)

Aparna Kar said...

@saurabh
You are not wasting your time if it's a Kamal Hassan movie. He's good at emoting without words. Watch Pushpak if you haven't yet and you will know what I mean. Not a dialog in the whole movie and the story unfurls so beautifully.

Aparna Kar said...

@sam
Hey! Just what I was thinking ! Lol. But yeah, they say you can't lie with your eyes. And it's true. I have seen cruel eyes, compassionate eyes, vivacious eyes, dead eyes. Eyes without dreams, eyes without direction. Eyes with hope for a better future, eyes with a vision. Eyes rimmed with tears in ecstasy, eyes burning with malice, eyes hurt by unkindness, eyes expressing gratitude. But the best of all would be a pair of eyes which when look into mine, I would see in them my own reflection :)

Aparna Kar said...

@passer by
LOL. Thanks. But I can be reticent too. And extremely curt at the best:P

Picked Manchi and Banti while playing beach ball with her. I could explore the beauty of the language more but first, I think I should do justice to the five functional languages I already know - Bengali, Hindi, English, German and Body :D

Sam said...

ah!!! isn't dat a wonderful desire?? i don't know.. if ever iw ud see such eyes!!
btw, was wondering if eyes could emote so much why can't they conduct interviews through eyes?? :P

Aparna Kar said...

@sam
Aah ! Dunno about eyes, but don't you think they study your body language? Ask the recruiters. Or my program director :P The first thing he said when he saw my animation was- 'You are a Marketing personality' :D

Sam said...

uhh.. i dunno!! its telephonic for me!!

Bubbles of FireWhiskey said...

i like the silences that i have with him. i like them because they arent uncomfortable. and somehow, he silences end up speaking so much louder than words though i dont know why that is...

Aparna Kar said...

@Bubbles
Yeah, you can have some of the best conversations by just keeping quiet. And sometimes, you can say something just to ruin it. I wonder if the spoken language has evolved well enough to let humans speak their minds. We speak often to hide, to conceal our true feelings. Think about it.

Aparna Kar said...

@sam
I know how it is :D