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Monday, May 08, 2006

Change

Bro is leaving tonight.
But I don't think I'll go to the airport to see him off.
I don't like saying goodbyes...am bad at them...

Today is the last day I'll be seeing him at home after office
It is feeling strange.
A certain emptiness has crept in.

And a pang of guilt.
In recent months I have been so involved with myself..I don't think I have given the best I could ...


When I wonder what is it that is choking me from inside..what is it that is making me so uncomfortable... other than the evident feeling that the shoulder I could lean on and cry everytime I needed to..and everytime I didn't -will be miles away from me.

I will remember everything about him so fondly...

His inventing lyrics while singing Hindi film songs and if I pointed it out , his reasoning with me.."It's Remix Sis!!"
His literally pulling my legs if I talked to someone for more than 10 mins over the phone...asking me to hang up and talk to him instead.

His guarding me like I were the most precious jewel on earth...

His strange ways of showing that he cared.

Sharing that last ice cream cone in summer...
Watching crappy movies with friends..and laughing for having wasted time and money.

His explaining Quantitative Aptitude fundas..my taking his vocab tests before his GRE

I know these days are never gonna be back..

25 comments:

Shashi Rajasekaran said...

buddy distances exist only between ur ears... think of him and he'll be around..wish him bon voyage..

markiv said...

i know zit bout u or ur bro.. but nice flow of thot.. realy cld kinda feel de emotion n relate...

zoxcleb said...

hey...
i know things will change.. but he is only a ping on gtalk away.. :-)
thats how i have been in touch with my sis for 2 yrs now.... and sure.. its different.. and the visits home are fun.. but times change..

and i'm sure he is thinking the same abt u...

Aparna Kar said...

@Shashi

Right buddy..and who knows better than u..
and sometimes I think distance strengthens a bond even more...
:)

Aparna Kar said...

@markiv

Nice to know...welcome to my space...

Aparna Kar said...

@zoxcleb

Yes ..I guess so too... :)
poor fellow..if he is alright after that 25 hr flight..

He feels so scared of turbulences..:(

Anirudh said...

I Like ur Style of writing! Keep it up!

Nitesh said...

yes ur right past days never come back. but atleast thnk that you had a shoulder to laugh,cry some one was there for you when u needed the most. you are lucky indeed. some people dont even have their closed ones or friends also near them when they need them the most.

raven said...

two excellent posts. nice work... senti kar diya!

zoxcleb said...

i remember.. even my sis would take up my vocab before my GRE. (shje actually leanred more words than i did!!)

days in the past are just that. many more wonderful days will approach u in the future. its just great that u have such a wonderful past to look back to and smile at.

so cheer up.. am sure, like i said earlier, he misses his little sis like crazy too... what good elder brother wont!

saurabh said...

Umm... The Good ol' Days i Had with my Bro......... those were the dayzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz :)
But tell you what, people who are forever in our heart can not be seperated by geographical distances from us

Aparna Kar said...

@anirudh

Thanks :)

Aparna Kar said...

@nitesh

yes...
I have been more than lucky in that matter..
TOUCHWOOD!!

Aparna Kar said...

@raven

Lol..solly..
Didn't mean to make anyone senti..but it's only because u can empathise...

keep visiting... :)

Aparna Kar said...

@zoxcleb
:)
I am sure he does...

Aparna Kar said...

@saurabh

Right u r...
:)

candid diary said...

Change is the only constant in life. Why not to embrace it and look for the best?
I wish ur bro continues to remain as near to as he was earlier.

ultimateamit said...

nice..biraha ek madhur bishad

Shumit said...

My sister did the same when I left...she refused to see me go away. Now, after I am back things are almost the same expect that we talk a lot less these days....

Aparna Kar said...

@ candid diary

I hope so...

Aparna Kar said...

@ultimateamit

well..nicely put..

Aparna Kar said...

@shumit
Ever pondered why?

anandable said...

hmmm...u are a sentimental girl. Girls are sentimental by nature..while we guys are emotionally dry..i have not called my sister for a long time.Your post has inspired me to call her right now :) thanks

Naresh said...

Brothers r the best thing in the world :D (am a bro to two sisters)

Anshul Agrawal said...

I've become senti after reading this...

It's always bad when someone so dear and close leave us but at the same it's also necessary for their growth too...