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Sunday, January 21, 2007

What's your secret?

When I was going through a tough time, I had a friend I could talk to..or rather a stranger. Whether it was compassion or indifference - I do not know, but I found a patient listener. And I think it helped me overcome the situation. Today I can look back in gratitude and sometimes I think I still need that stranger to talk to.. except that he has become my friend now and I really can't talk about anything and everything coz I fear being judged.
Have a secret? Or a confession to make..here's a very convenient way to let it out.
All you have to do is post a secret as a comment under the name anonymous.


For more secrets, visit Post a Secret

66 comments:

Anonymous said...

I contemplated suicide when you left me but I realised I love my parents more than I hate myself for letting you break my heart.

Anonymous said...

I love you. Will you marry me?

Anonymous said...

I am a commitmentphobic because I am scared of getting hurt.

make sure about girl said...

If you dont detele my message then i'll tell the secret....

Aparna Kar said...

@make sure about girl
If u do not to make any lewd comment or insinuation , u r most welcome to use this space... otherwise I'll have to delete it.. like the previous one..

Anonymous said...

I miss talking to my late grandfather.

Anonymous said...

i feel over-rated all the time. i'm just not as smart as ppl think i am.

Aparna Kar said...

@over-rated

Interesting secret.. I identify with it.. but I promise no funda no gyaan as long as I can help it...
It's getting interesting now...

Anonymous said...

i feel like i never fit in wherever i go.

Anonymous said...

I liked lesbian porn and beastiality more than "normal" sex. But I love my boyfriend and I think he's wonderful

Anonymous said...

i dream of waking up with you day in and day out of my life, i know its not possible now, but i still have that dream

Anonymous said...

i dream of waking up with you day in and day out of my life, i know its not possible now, but i still have that dream....
I can tell you who is this guy....

Aparna Kar said...

@I can tell you

Lolz.. y wud u want to do tht? n who r u who wants to do me a favor?

Ok thn... tell me his name, address, phn number, birthday, blood group, fav color, His response to the question :wht makes him happy & wht is the meaning of life...

n if possible wht kind of visa(F1/H1B/ others) he has if he is in US..lolz..
I think this shud suffice..

Thanks in advance Sherlock Holmes :)

But I'd rather know who posted the second comment

Anonymous said...

i love my present beau more than i hate my ex.
and i wish i can tell that to my ex

Anonymous said...

i miss my past love..now iam feeling very sad for not marrying her..i think iam looser....now i dont have strenght to be in love as iam afraid to loose n hurt the person

{V}

Aparna Kar said...

@v
"the one" is an over-hyped concept..
there are plenty more where she came from.. keep looking..

Vikas said...

i think i can flow out my all naughty secrets here ;)

Aparna Kar said...

@vikas
u r most welcome to share ur secrets here.. naughty or otherwise.. keep posting

Anonymous said...

My boss is a complete jerk. I hate the way he oogles at me when I walk past him. Makes me want to hit him hard.

Anonymous said...

every time i need to cry,i think of my Chhoto Mama.he passed away very suddenly 2 years ago...n i miss him like crazy even now...but then at times i can't help thinking m using him only to get my tears out.

Aparna Kar said...

@ chhoto mama
Really compelling.
U rnt disrespecting his memories or anything. We all need a shoulder to cry... sometimes. And then we think of the places where we found comfort, security.

As kids we can't wait to grow up but as adults we realize there are worse pains than scrapped knees and broken joints.. and during those times of excruciating pain, we can't even shed as much as a tear.

It's all a part of growing up, attaining emotional maturity..
Harrowing experiences.. nevertheless each with a lesson

Take some time off and remember what u decided today.

My opinion is- it's pointless to lay too much emphasis on personal relations

Rediscover yourself. Make a fresh start. Keep urself busy . Don't let urself be unhappy.

Once you find the "you" in you- the rest will fall in place.
Bhalo theko

Anonymous said...

lady... whts so special about August 18th :D... and yeah..man i would be so happy to have my girl watch gory movies with me. yehoooo...

Aparna Kar said...

@aug 18th
Sports, Fitness & Active Leisure (SFAL) Expo2007 begins on Aug 18 2007 at Pragati maidan , New Delhi.. if tht's imp for u :P

As for me, I discovered something I never thought I'd. A vision. A dream which made me want life to happen

And btw, if ur girl is scared of gory movies, dnt force her into warching them.. neither draw comparisions.. it's unwise..

Try to value her virtues n respect her limitations.

Aparna Kar said...

Aaha I'm curious to know.
I know the visitors from BU and CMU..but who's from CSU,LB?

Leave a comment whoever it is :)

Anonymous said...

haha..as if i dont value her virtues..how do u know..cunning goddess? nd respect her limitations..she aint gt any ..she thinks she has..bt yeah as per my conscience, she doesnt. aami aami..o o . :D...

i hate uppercase said...

things i love abt ur blog

1.what u write..
2.ur presence on the right..would rate that as one of the most soothing pics ever..
4.the background and title(not the case)


things i hate..
1.the red colored maple leaf accompanying the titles.
2.the irritating ads.
3.the map..(better than the counter though)
4.ur tunes..which at times automatically get played.

now i know these are no secrets..but i've been longing to tell them

Aparna Kar said...

@cunning goddess
I ain't any goddess- cunning or not.. but 'princess' for some :P
n " Bella Principessa " for one :)

btw, glad to know tht u value her so..
I would want to know how u define "limitations" though

aar "aami aami .. o o" ta abaar ki? :O

Aparna Kar said...

@uppercase
u missed the 3rd point in "things i love abt ur blog" :)

Rohit Kumar said...

:)

Anonymous said...

So to share something...I liked a girl very much, but did not know if she liked me. I happened to hack her email account and feeling a guilt I also asked her to change her password anonymously. Now we are friends but I still cant understand if she likes me more than a friend. I want to be honest with her, but do you think telling her that it was I who hacked her account is prudent??
I have less of sixth sense and find it hard to understand the emotions of a girl, especially if it goes to deeper levels than just being a hi-hello friend. I dont want to loose her as a friend. Help me with an advice plz...

i hate upper case said...

well thats because i could not find 4 things i liked about.. but did not wanna screw up the count

Anonymous said...

Chandi jaisa rang hai tera
Sone jaise baal
ek tuhi dhanwaan o' gori
baki sab kanggaal

Jis raste se tu gujare
woh phool se bharjaye
teri komal kaya mere sote bhaag jagaye
chel chabili rani tu
ghoonghat to khol

ek tuhi dhanwaan o' gori
baki sab kangaal


JSK

Aparna Kar said...

@jsk
whoa! How did u know tht's the lyrics of one of my fav Ghazals by Pankaj Udhas
I guess every girl wants to believe it was written for her.. just like Afreen .
I liked another one by him though, lyrics are by Nooh Narvi.

Aap jinke kareeb hote hai
woh bade khush-naseeb hote hai

Jab tabiyat kisi pe aati hai
maut ke din kareeb hote hai

Mujhse milna phir aapka milna
Aap kisko naseeb hote hai

Zulm seh kar jo oouf nahi kare
unke dil bhi ajeeb hote hai


Heard it..?

Aparna Kar said...

@upper case
how cruel!! Lolz..

@hacker
She'd feel scandalized .. but if u want to own up to it.. it'd be proper when u r surer of her feelings...

It's something u hv to decide urself.. coz I've no clue about the kind of understanding u share right now..

Anonymous said...

@ aparna---

to be honest iam not that found of ghazals...but this one is very close to my heart..because the one who is admired in this ghazal is the picture of my dream love...

no i never heard of that ghazal but its really good one



Har yado me usi ki yad rehti hai.
Meri ankho ko usi ki talash rhti hai.
kuch tum b dua kro yaro.
Suna hai dosto ki dua me farishto ki fariyad hoti hai…

JSK

Anonymous said...

i look for perfection in everything and everyone ... now i hate others for being less than perfect and myself for not accepting them ...

i wish to die but drowned in self-pity, i can't even move my arse to do it ...

misfit said...

i wish i cd fall in love ...

Aparna Kar said...

@misfit
Awwwwwww! Don't we all?
But I guess you just have to wait for the right time and the right person. Unless you believe there's no harm in fooling about with the wrong ones, which I don't think would be your attitude.. if u r really a perfectionist, u r bound to be fussy...

And about perfection- we are all seeking it in our own ways.. but it gets a little difficult for others if you become obsessed with it.
Nevertheless, there's no reason why you should compromise with your own set standards.
However, keep in mind.. no one is perfect.. not even you..

As for me, I'm a spelling freak..though I am susceptible to making errors as well.. maybe because your job leaves its mark on you...

And there's no need to want to die just because you think you are a perfectionist

If you are brave enough to admit something, things aren't that gloomy yet.. cheer up n get urself a mug of coffee.. things will brighten up soon enough

my confession said...

Aditi, I loved you but it wouldn't have worked!!!

Anonymous said...

altho i'm happy for a great friend of mine, who just started seeing someone, i cant help but feel jealous, that she doesnt spend as much time with me...

Anonymous said...

i bombed my last semester.. letting my parents down.. and more importantly leting myself down..

and now i dont know if i can ever recover to pick up my pieces...

i'm just too scared..

Anonymous said...

I want to break something, mostly myself. I hate myself for never being enough, no matter how hard I try. If I was a drama queen I'd say I want to die, and you'd be within your rights to tell me to get on and do it, then. I don't. I just want to stop feeling like sh*t all the time.

Anonymous said...

Day after day, night after night nothing changes for me. The world sees sunshine and rain and fog and breeze. But nothing changes for me.... or rather I choose not to see it.

I just wait for the day when I can see him again... touch him, feel him.. so that I can feel alive with him.

It's the thought that keeps me going - all through this. And I live for this, I live on this..

Anonymous said...

sometimes i cry all alone for no reason. And when i do that i keep on looking myself through a mirror.. that makes me all the more sad... i cry for hours.. but when its over i feel so relieved..

Ramona Anderson said...

People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within

Anonymous said...

thanks Aparna. I better not disclose the truth now. I'm afraid of loosing her...

and... I hate being called hacker! Its something which has brought me down in my own sight.

Anonymous said...

i just feel alone in a world full of people

Anonymous said...

I am in love... The gal I love is from an other comunnity and other caste... She shows no hints in sharing some moments from me... She is too professional and sophisticated... The fact is that she used to throw hints which I never caught until one fine day I was drunk and she actually handled my diction online with a great maturity and Loo! Though I have stopped drinking after that incident, and I feel that I can be fully devoted to her, she seems to play cat-n-mouse game with me... What to do next ? I am in late twenties, and have an year to go before I decide on my life in perosnal matters...

Aparna Kar said...

@alone
We are all for ourselves in the jungle of strangers with familiar faces.
In the end, we are all alone.

@in love
She might be genuinely affectionate towards you for the kind of person you are, but making a commitment might not be what she has in mind right now.. because no matter what the modernists say, when it comes to marriage people tend to be conformists.
You don't just marry a person, you marry the traditions, the culture, the food habits, even the style of attire.
And for a girl, the things assume a greater importance because in most of the traditions the girl gets married "into" the family of the groom and not vice versa. Even in days where a nucleus family is du jour, it might be difficult for her to embrace a different culture altogether.. let alone the prejudices she might have been brought up with.

You stopped drinking after the incident, shows devotion towards her. You awe her for the professionalism and sophistication she possesses. Perfect.
But is she ready for a relationship?
I mean she might be some years younger to you and her career might be topping her list of priorities right now and not her personal life. What are her romantic ambitions? Have you ever tried to find them out?
And are you sure she doesn't have them with parameters entirely different from the ones you excel at?

Communication is the only way to know the person you value so much. Talk to her. Get to know her a little more.
And you might know what to do next.

Anonymous said...

I am scared to buy gifts for my beau because my buying gifts seems to be jinxed. It has always been splitsville after that.
I'm usually not a superstitious woman but the consternation is too great sometimes.
However, this time around, I don't think I'll let myself be scared.
If it's a curse, I don't think anything else can lift it if the love I feel for him can not.

Aparna Kar said...

Apprehension, consternation, dismay, terror, fright, panic, horror, trepidation, dread... The names of fear are many, but the solution is only one... faith

Rahul Dasgupta said...

well, had a similar experience like urs... the only difference, in my case, it was not a stranger, it was a friend.. a very close friend

Anonymous said...

I don't know if it was love or softcorner for a best friend until he fell in love with somebody else. I then realised that I was in love with him and could not express it to him and I cried a lot. I no longer wish to see him nor feel like talking to him. Now I feel like I have lost a part of me and even then I don't have the courage to go infront of him.

Aparna Kar said...

@ in love wth best frnd

Thr's no reason y u shud shun his company. Are u afraid he'll read ur eyes or u might give out any othr such signal tht might convey ur true feelings towards him?

That cud be untoward.
U obviously don't want to let him know that.. not now at least..

Think this way, you were the best of friends.. and you shared a lot, tht gave u some sort of emotional dependence on each other.

Now thr's another woman involved n u think ur exclusive right is being trespassed. He's being "shared"...
You cud either (a) make a clean breast of everythng n risk losing his frnship, or
(b) keep quiet abt ur feelings until they fade away or u get engaged wth someone else too( as I 'm supposing , u r single n tht only amplifies the gravity of the situation)

I can't pretend to be wise n give u an absolute solution, but the choice will always lie with u.

Just a gentle reminder: things don't make us happy or sad because they hv the power to, but because we give them the authority to. An event by itself has no more significance than we ascribe to it.

Your best frnd is in love wth someone, n he's presumably happy.
Now u cud either be happy or sad abt it.. not both.


U can either be a bitch n determine no one has the right to tk ur man away or be a quiet lamb n suffer in silence

Either way.. ur happiness wil be the result of ur choice. N u shud hv the strength to face the consequences too

But be sure to try the waters first before u jump in..
if he never had any sort of romantic inclination towards u .. u might be just making vain efforts..
it'd be better to wait for the right person to come along n give ur story a happy ending.

n as far as I know.. it always has a happy ending, if it isn't happy yet, it's isn't the end yet..

Anonymous said...

Just 10 days before V-day, when I had already ordered the gift for my guy, I wanted to call off our relation because I thought he was not giving me enough time deliberately.
But I wanted to talk about it before making a rash decision and so I called him up.
56 minutes later when we were through, I realized I had not made a mistake in accepting this guy. From anger to tears and finally to laughter, I don't think anybody else could have made me experience the plethora of emotions that he could.

Honey, if you are reading this I want you to know that I love you and that I believe in "us".

Truly, madly, deeply

Anonymous said...

hey.. i had been feeling terrible past the past 3 months. this is because of a girl whom i thought was my friend. i had never had any close friends in my life before. i never used to tell what i felt to anyone, not even to my folks. but i felt so much close to this one that i shared with her, the darkest corners of my heart. for the past 3 months, she had been friends with someone else. it's not jealosy or possessiveness that i feel for her. honestly speaking, it's disgust. for i have now realised that she has this disgusting habit of keep on changing friends. it's not bad, but what she does is, whenever she befriends someone, just to get close to them, she says all things about her previous friends, in such a way that that this new friend thinks that she s an angel or something who had been tormented by a devil of a friend!
but i am trying to get over it,for i realise now that i am only the second in the list. and she has already found the 4th...
she is a bitch. but what is troubling me is, this no.4 was a reallly good friend of mine until this bitch poked in. no. 4 is ingoring me completely these days.. a typical symptom again. i cant understand what i must do. coz, if i try to warn her now, she will not listen to me. i just feel so sorry for her! :(

Aparna Kar said...

Y do u feel sorry for her? She's havin a good time.. it's u who's suffering..
n ppl can be fickle.. more fickle thn tht. Maybe she believes in exploring n gets bored after a while or uncomfortable after a certain level of proximity..
only thing is -it's really bad tht the 4th chap was ur frnd.. but wht mkes u think it was her who turned him against u ?
And wht makes u certain tht u did nothing to annoy her? I cud be wrong.. but thn agn thr r always 2 sides of a coin.. I'd like to hear wht she has to say too..

Anonymous said...

I wish my ex would call me less so that I didn't have to think how to react. I hate him for having caused me the pain he had but I don't want to tell him how hurt I was. So that he'll never know how much authority I had given him over my life... and all for nothing.

sirohi said...

My secret is that I don't have a secret. Everything in my life is own by one or the other and open like a book. So there are no secrets. I will try to keep some secrets from now onwards at least once a year to put in some one's blog. But by the way who is going to get the best secret prize. I think it mst go to me because my secret is unique.

Anonymous said...

I know my boyfriend loves me a lot but I wish I could get him closer more often at occasions that are important to me.
We have a long distance relation and I just hope I can be near to him soon. I long for his presence... though he's always with me- in my mind.
I know there have been times where he could have hugged me and said "Honey, I'm so proud of you". But we missed out on those coz it's not possible right now.

And that in a way makes our relationship so so precious.
I hope that we will remember how much we yearned for each other's company and finally when we are together we'll share the most beautiful relation. Till then I can only wait

Anonymous said...

I was scared I'll never find love until I found you.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes I'm not really sure if it is going to work out for us. But then I don't think I ever wanted anyone to be beside me like I want you.

Anonymous said...

I have begin to think that I have waited for a life that might not even happen the way I wanted it. But then I feel- I have seen worse than this and honestly? It's going to be a lot better than I ever expected.

Anonymous said...

I love you more than I can ever say

Anonymous said...

They say I deserve better than him. I don't want to believe them. Because I know that he loved me even when I had almost nothing.

Anonymous said...

She told me I am lucky. I believe her. :)