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Tuesday, November 13, 2007

What Would You Do If You Weren't Afraid?

Or conversely- What is your greatest fear?

Please try not to be anonymous. Owning up to your fear is one way of conquering it. No one is judging you here . And refrain from making direct personal comments if you are posting anonymously.

40 comments:

Saurabh said...

Marry You Probably !!! Even though it might sound far fetched and an ill conceived idea :P

But on a a serious note, I will leave everything behind and go out on a tour of the world, without any burning issues in my head

anon said...

comment with my name for one :-P

tell someone how much harm they've done, and how stupid they've been. and why i despise them.

tell someone else to stop being a lazy S*B and do something helpful.

tell someone else how great they are and what they mean to me.

tell u to stop being so pretentious at times, and not to settle for less that what u can.

tell myself to buck up and face the world. its harsher than i imagine, and dreaming isnt gonna get me anywhere.

zoxcleb said...

get away from the current "junta" and make it on my own, alone.

tell someone how i feel, even if they shudnt hear it.

laugh.

Aparna Kar said...

@anon
And you are still afraid coz u can't be urself here. Nevertheless compelling comment. And remember one thing- I will NEVER settle for anything less than I can. The reason why I do something is because I think it gives me happiness. The day that happiness stops or starts to decay , I will stop doing it. Btw, u have to admit- I am good at guessing identities ;P

Aparna Kar said...

@zoxcleb
Loved that "laugh" part. Why are we so afraid to be ourselves?

Aparna Kar said...

@saurabh
Be a realist. If my Dad doesn't shoot your @$$, someone else will. :P
But yeah,all the best for your world tour :)

Saurabh said...

Oh Yes, absolutely, my dream to travel across the world with nothing but my guitar, my diary, my passport and 2 pair of clothes and ofcourse the trusty camera and a good pair of sneakers

To make money while travelling, stayin in all the exotic places, just live the day I am in.

I might do it someday :D

saikat said...

if i weren't afraid..hmmmm

i would stop telling lies,
dare to say good byes,
the room wont echo with cries,
there will be less rest and more tries :|

now play this

http://totebo.com/mko.php?c=qporqUotsourUorFBoUBopptotqFqoG3NR36M3NouUpB

ciao..

Munmun said...

I guess life loses its meaning and humans their existence when we shrug fear. Even the most fearless people did away with one fear to submit to another. Socrates never lied because he was afraid to reply to his conscience.

I think fear is what maintains an orderly state of the world. Without it, life loses its essence.

Munmun said...

And yes. I over-analyzed! Sorry about that!

abir said...

actually, i'm hardly afraid nowadays ...

but if i were to lose all fear, i wd challenge my supervisor(s) and some superiors, drop my present life and live a life working with village folk, dancing and playing music

... oh, and I'd ask a couple of girls out too

zoxcleb said...

because the world isnt ready....

intelligent_bacteria said...

If I were not afraid I would not have been alive by now !!

Aparna Kar said...

@zoxcleb
See? This is the reason why some people are pretentious. Because it's us who can't take the honest truth. Thanks for saying the truth. And nothing but the truth :)

Aparna Kar said...

@munmun
You are right in a way. Fear makes a society livable or else people would go on succumbing to their darkest desires, go on killing, raping, plundering and the human race would be a decadent lot who'd make themselves extinct by excesses. Then, there is a positive streak of fear : When a teenage decides not to surf porn or take drugs in fear of being caught by his parents, when a girl decides not to elope 'cause she doesn't want to hurt the feelings of her family, a student who stops whiling away time coz he/she is scared to perform poorly in the exams, or a man who doesn't commit adultery becoz he's terrified of upsetting the relationship he shares with his wife. All, complemented with other positive emotions - respect, empathy, desire to succeed or love in the above cases in that order, lead to positive outcomes. And the greatest fear of lying to your conscience is what advances individuals to the path of so called "righteousness", which I like to define from the Utilitarian point of view of "greater good".

However, those who live in constant fear can be or achieve nothing. Because some of the most important decisions of life have to be taken fearlessly and with conviction. Even if the whole world, or say 99.99% of the external environment says it is not going to work. Great discoveries and new travel routes would have never been made otherwise.

What you fear is what defines you. And knowing what it is helps you overcome it. Thanks for encouraging me to "over analyze" the post. I have made clear now why I have chosen this random topic :)

Aparna Kar said...

@intelligent_bacteria
Sounds familiar ! Did you try and jump into a crocodile park too? :D
But I'd rather say- if
I did not have the faith, I'd not have been alive by now. :)
In the croc scenario: the faith that the croc jaws are stronger than my bones :P

raven said...

quit running, start living.

and travel, at leisure!

Aparna Kar said...

@abir
We all have that urge once in a while to stop doing what we are and go to the woods to live a simpler life. :)
All the best with the girls. But I thought you already had one :O Must be miscommunication *confused*

Aparna Kar said...

@raven
Aah! Glad to have you back after a loooooooooong time. :)
Well, what can I say? Take off your sprint shoes buddy and walk on the grass.

raven said...

ahh... when did i leave? have been reading ur rss feed regularly... just didnt comment!

Aparna Kar said...

My greatest fear:
-Having a job I don't enjoy
-Waking up next to a guy I don't love
-Not traveling enough

In short, when I am about to die- discovering that I could have lived life differently.

Aparna Kar said...

@raven
Do it more often then :) That's the whole point of having a public blog. I want to know what u think

zahid said...

every small thing done by us is a result of fear....every thing would have been either worse or better had we not succumbed to it.....

my biggest fear is 'facing a day not being able to write'

arnab said...

i won't call it fear, but my greatest worry is to be stuck with something i don't like, be it job, relationship or geographical location :-)

i am not sure that i completely agree with your reply to munmun, and by extension with her comment about fear being a necessary guiding force. there is no doubt that fear is the standard instrument for imparting morality in most cultures, but there are contrasting views on the evolution of morality. dawkins has been claiming for quite some time now that the fear of an unknown entity, like god, for example, is not necessary for the the development of morality among humans. but i haven't read enough on this to really comment.

what i can say though is that i wish to live in a society where people are not guided by fear of any kind. maybe some societies will implode under such a condition, and i would say, let them be. because the alternative is just not appealing enough :-)

anon said...

looks like u updated ur post after my comment....
sorry for the direct judgement.

Arun Srinivasan said...

I will be doing same wht i am doing now... eventually which means i am not afraid of anything now!... know the noble words? "Fear is death, fear is sin, fear is hell, fear is unrighteousness, fear is wrong life. All the negative thoughts and ideas that are in the world have proceeded from this evil spirit of fear."... It's not the failure in anything which funk the people in their deeds rather it's the fear of failure... so far to the extent i know abt myself i am feared of anything... may be how abt cockroach? :-P

Arun Srinivasan said...

oops i replied directly for ur prev same post... with ur blog i read others comment on the second after commenting first... so jus saw the comment by the anon and then ur post again... anyway the answer is nothing and may be cockroach :-)

Arun Srinivasan said...

ok i missed the word NOT in m y first comment... i always miss this NOT when i type and i donno y...

FireWhisky said...

ummm have quintuplets??? [:P]

Abhinav said...

If I were not afraid, I would accept the fact that giving my life a sense of activity isn't really necessary. Then I would take a pile of my choicest, most-loved books and alternate reading with watching some very good movies - old and new - munching on popcorn or biting into a steamy mouth-watering samosa all the while...
Okay I know I'm going nowhere. But that is what it ought to be. I wish I had a little less focus in life and some more time to smell the roses.
I'm afraid of losing my focus and what may happen if I do. Being too focused is my bitch...

In fact I did something like that. I went and watched Saawariya while my boring exams are on.
@Aparna:- Check out Saawariya if you get the time. It's splendid for its cinematography and for its understanding of fragility of the moment, though the songs and dialogues are sometimes drab. It has even been compared to Puccini's La Bohoeme! What the heck!!!

Aparna Kar said...

@abhinav
"Being too focused is my bitch..."
The other day we were talking about auditors. They are so young (most of them below 25) and they burn themselves out working insane hours. Same holds true for I-bankers who are into trading. Mostly because they are unmarried and have no social life and would rather spend time in office. I came across a postcard in "A Lifetime of secrets " which says "I lost all my friends because I spent too much time at work. Now I spend too much time at work because I lost all my friends." Simple yet painful.
You might argue that they can quit after they have bundled an amount from their high end salaries but it is so difficult to give up a lifestyle you have become so used to. (Forget the catch that you have the money but no time to spend it)

I for example, would like to do full-time blogging as my job. But the average salary for a blogger in Boston is not more 40K. Is it enough? No. Until I figure out how to make real dough with my passion.

Aparna Kar said...

@FireWhisky
hahaha
Very genuine fear! Sends shivers down my spine to think that someday I will have kids too. And after I have one, I can ask my husband to carry the second when he wants it ( like Arnold in "Junior") Tee hee hee. Would be cray too watch. But yeah, I don't know what happened to the pregnant man Lee Mingwei though.

Aparna Kar said...

@ anon
Don't be. I am not. Your comment spelled your name in capital letters. Though a friend would have rather chosen to call me up or mail me to express his concern.

Aparna Kar said...

@arnab

It boils down to the concern of being caught in wrong time and space coordinates. Yet, it's not until several years pass before we realize that which we thought was wrong was actually "right". Coz in the end, it all makes sense. In the end , when the jigsaw is done or the dots are joined and the picture is complete, It all makes bloody sense!

Aparna Kar said...

@zahid
Aah! That is something which I feared sometime back. The more I thought about it, the more I got engulfed in it until I thought of giving up blogging for good. And I did so for a while too. That feels like a long long long time ago. Many have said "keep writing" to me. I am sure that's one of the best wishes I can share with you too. :)

backpakker said...

ive written an entire post on this..pls read when you are free http://hermonologues.blogspot.com/2007/05/fear.html

Aparna Kar said...

@backpakker
Wow! I couldn't have been more honest with myself. Thanks for the link :)

anon said...

so lemme clarify "not to settle for less that what u can" since its colored everything we've said since...


all i was talking abt was ur choice in mba schools.... where u picked a school not as good as u could have got into had u not had other motivations colouring ur application.

Abhinav said...

My greatest fears:
-Having a job I don't enjoy
-Waking up next to a girl I don't love
-Not traveling enough

When I read yours, I realised that if had been in a saner frame of mind I would have listed these exactly as they are instead of ranting about my focus ;-) We fear exactly the same things Appu. You're really my big sis, my Appu di.

Sam said...

Mine would to be a failure at any endeavor of mine and not living upto my words!!

btw that plan of urs.. regarding junior.. how on earth do u girls get such ideas.. i have been bugged by the same for quite sometime now, by my girl!! grrr.... naywyz... does make one wonder though!!