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Sunday, November 11, 2007

Amour propre


I did something after a long time today.
I looked into the mirror, pronounced :"Hey Gorgeous, you look beautiful", smiled at myself , blew a kiss and said "I love you".

I don't know how many of you will find it weird and how many actually practice it, but I'm feeling great right now. It is an integral element of my happiness that I was overlooking for a while.( Past continuous and not present perfect continuous - deliberately )
Will take better care from now on.
As they say, "To love oneself is the beginning of a life long romance".
Cheers to the reviving of an honest relationship.
Care to join in?
Start kissing your mirrors right away.
And if you don't feel good- sue me!

*****

Random thought:

I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived..

-Henry David Thoreau ,"Walden", 1854

32 comments:

Da Rodent said...

"Love yourself" is awesome.. but "kiss yourself" is.. er.. umm.. :-S Anywayz, nice dogs :)

Abhinav said...

Is that weird? Dinno that ;-)
Thanks for some Thoreau...

Swaroop said...

I can only Like myself. I woudn't say love and kiss words and be categorized differently :)

saikat said...

i looked at the mirror and said - " hey handsome you look great"

the reflection replied - "here too sales; stop lying" :P

tc..

Aparna Kar said...

@da rodent
I don't want to sound like the creature whose Mom covers its face before she kisses it coz she's so ugly. Or like the guy whose GF always finds an excuse not to kiss him and says "I got a headache today, so my lips are effected " :D
No matter how desirable you are for others, you still need one very important person to love you- yourself. If you can't, you'll be seeking affirmation at the wrong places and still feel unwanted at the end of the day. On the other hand, if others find you repulsively ugly, it's even more important that you learn to love yourself. Because you are the only person who knows your true self and can see the beauty within.

Btw, you really don't have to go to the length of kissing yourself all over. There are other ways of showing admiration for yourself. I have seen guys checking out their muscles in mirrors or combing their hair in front of any damn thing that reflects light. ( I for example, secretly enjoy watching my image on shop windows, car panes, screen in a train etc) It gets a boring for your company, so it's best done in private or while traveling by yourself.

And it's not about pulchritude either - it is what you are. A lover, a survivor, a child, or a father that makes you feel beautiful. Do what u may- just keep loving yourself coz self love prevents us from doing a lot of "wrong" things we would do if we hated ourselves. The silent pride you have in your self would often act as your guiding star.

Aparna Kar said...

Thanks Abhinav
:) I loved your Gustave Flaubert."The one way of tolerating existence is to lose oneself in literature as in a perpetual orgy" Looking forward to seeing more from you:)

Aparna Kar said...

@swaroop
No matter what words you choose, as long as the essence is the same as that what I meant to convey here

Aparna Kar said...

@saikat
Lol.. good one.
But you do look great Saiki. When you close your eyes and smile and lift your neck and stick your head like a child, you look awesome :D

Abhinav said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
zoxcleb said...

hmmm... seems like xkcd is having an influence on u... ;-)

on a more serious note.. its the missing piece of any puzzle, the piece that stays hidden right in front of u leaving the perfect image tarnished by the absence of one thing.

and you found it. So your puzzle is now complete :-)

Aparna Kar said...

@zoxcleb
Liked the way you put it. But you know what? The puzzle is never complete. The impetus for progress is discontentment. It's about being happy with what you have but NEVER with what you are. Doesn't mean you can not love yourself in the meantime. Just don't afford the luxury of complacence- that's what
I say to myself.

Oh yeah, you deserve the credits for introducing me to the xkcd thing. Thanks.

Abhinav said...

Hey Aparna. Removed a post containing a solicitous link. Don't mind ;-)

Aparna Kar said...

@abhinav
Dnt worry, I have that comment and the link saved in my gmail inbox ;P

Abhinav said...

Your blog is so much of simple life like an unpretentious diary laid bare, not more not less, just perfect... That's what draws me to it!!!
Well, I delved into my inbox and retrieved this ;-)

Aparna Kar said...

Lol.. Thanks again for those pearl string of words :D Btw, do u have an orkut account (what a lame question) add me on gtalk- u will find the id there. Better to chat on gtalk than in my comment box

Prasoon said...

@zoxcleb did not know that xkcd was the source :P - wondering what will happen when she has a fight next : boot sectors hmmm :S :P

@aparna am scared - the mirror will get all wet sheesh - that won't look good. i need a life or may be someone who tells me that i look 'handsome' :P ;-)

Aparna Kar said...

@prasoon
All the best for the later :) Life seems a lot more beautiful when you have someone else to indulge you. If nothing works, get a puppy :D
If you ask me why, I will refer to an old debate here

backpakker said...

I agree with the thought .....liking and appreciating yourself is very important..as it leads to self esteem and a positive attitude .you have a very nice blog..good music as well ..thanks for visiting mine..hope you dont mind me adding you in my list ..

saikat said...

@ appu:

followed your advise..did that infront of the mirror..repeated the sales pitch...

result: when i opened the eyes..reflection had ran away :P :D

ciao..tc

Munmun said...

Hehe, that's an interesting thing to do to feel good! Worth to be tried...
However, I guess everyone has his/her ways to express self-love and subsequently feel 'good'. For example, I do some photography/cooking/writing when I am not in my best happy times.
I guess the act of appreciating oneself (whatever may be the manner) is extremely important in life. When I look at the mirror, probably other than thinking I look gorgeous (?) I might find a pimple which I need to address immediately! :P
Jokes apart, the essence I am trying to convey is that self-revelation is the first and last thing which makes a human being: we appreciate ourselves, we rectify and we learn...

Shantanu said...

Do it all the time :-D

Reggie (from the Archie comics) made a deeper impression on me than I had thought.... :-)

Da Rodent said...

@aparna: yeah, I get the point :)

Aparna Kar said...

@shantanu
Yeah . Reggie Mantle beats them all except probably Nick St. Clair who's the nastiest character I have come across in Riverdale.
Sometimes I wonder how Reg can be consistent in his self obsession. Even the greatest feel humble st times! But the best part is that everyone knows his first and only true love is himself. He doesn't make a pretense and that is why I adore his character.

Aparna Kar said...

@ Munmun
I agree. Cooking or any activity which requires constant attention is the best way to sooth my senses. Next only to browsing a word list- which is still my most preferred way of organizing my thoughts. Going for a walk is the second best thing. But with the temperatures touching 1 degree C, I don't think I will be doing it for a while now. Free style dancing also works, so does listening to instrumental music. Or even getting groomed! Anything to take my mind off an idée fixe. Maybe that is why versatile people live healthier, happier and longer.

Aparna Kar said...

@saikat
LMAO. Use Fevicol next time

Aparna Kar said...

@backpakker
My pleasure:) Go ahead. The more, the merrier.

Abhinav said...

Talking of soothing one's senses, a fellow blogger reminded me of Paulo. His 'The Alchemist' can sooth like nothing can. Bought two of his books today in the hope of getting some good time off...

Aparna Kar said...

@abhinav
I am so glad that you reminded me of one of my most favorite books. Though I don't have the hard copy right now, I remember reading it and being transfered to a different plane of thinking. Reading does soothe my senses. How could I have missed mentioning that! Maybe because I don't read books so frequently now. It's mostly case studies or other articles I stick to. Am thinking of picking up the #1 New York Bestseller titled "Your Best Life Now" by Noel Osteen. And I am yet to finish Shantaram and the Road Less Traveled.

Aparna Kar said...

@ all
It's pertinent that I mention the flip side too. We know of malignant self love and the fate of Narcissus who was entranced by his reflection in a pool. We have heard of Hubris in Greek tragedies, where the hero brings about his nemesis by committing the moral crime. Achilles' treatment of Hector's corpse in Homer's Iliad was exemplary.
Swami Vivekananda said that a balance of attachment and detachment has to be achieved to attain happiness. Whether it's self love or love for an external being you consider the manifestation of beauty or a source of joy- that equipoise has to be reached. Or else the results can be calamitous.

Aparna Kar said...

p.s @prasoon
You have Windex for that why waste your saliva! Sheesh! I didn't know you drool. Keep to one peck! Keep to one peck ! * gets compulsive *

Munmun said...

Yeah! I love(!) to get groomed! One of my most interesting ways to be happy. Even on simple occasions!!

Cyberpunk said...

perhaps i should try this self-affirmation thing you've mentioned...well, not exactly the kiss part, but the self-praise part...

i've heard that it seems silly at first, but it works...