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Friday, October 24, 2008

Home

I'm sure every culture has a code for that one (following up on my post on 'The Culture Code' :D)

It brings to my mind a mosaic of images- Mom and Dad cooking for me, Grandma's caresses, lying on the grass lawn with my parents and watching shooting stars in the sky, Beena Didi, Ashu Kaku, my pet dog which lives no more, the treasured suitcase full of Tintin and Asterix comics under my bed, the cupboard that has all my soft toys and Barbies, the book shelves and movie collection, pictures on the wall and a myriad of other things. People and possessions.

But most of all - it means 'security'. In my childhood, however, I detested the idea of being driven around everywhere I wanted to go or have a home guard trail me everytime I stepped out of my house. Probably, an aftermath of a kidnapping attempt on me and my elder bro when we were kids. I wanted to explore the world on my own. See the colors and sights, try to sense what's good or bad myself.

When my parents came to drop me off at my hostel for my undergrads, I was excited. But then my cousin brother (Misti Da), who was residing in Delhi at that time, said: 'Don't worry, we'll be there if you need us.' It was antithetical. I knew I wouldn't be seeing my parents for a while. I had not taken this into account ! It was a beginning and an end.

Sometimes, kids start living outside their homes earlier or later than I had. Nothing new. My point is - most of you know how it feels to be away from home and probably attach a different meaning to 'home' now. It might not mean what it meant before. For better or for worse.

Growing up the way I am, being 'homesick' is considered a repugnant weakness or the aftermath of illness or inability. My mother always told me success stories which inevitably ended : '...and then he went to live there* (variable) and is doing great professionally.' Fairy tales were my own vicious indulgence. I don't remember my parents ever buying me Cinderella or Snow-white. Little Red Riding Hood - maybe.

So, when your ├ęclat is judged on the magnitude of your well-being away from your home, it becomes a little embarrassing to admit how much you miss 'home' at times. Or the home you had as a child (contrasted with the possibility of your owning one yourself )

Anyways, all that rambling spurred from the likelihood of my going home this December. A toast everyone, to home, sweet home.

10 comments:

Mampi said...

Enjoyed the Post.

sejuti said...

tats such a gr8 post..aparna i love it and u should def'ly go visit home however busy you are, its our lifeline, will make u more productive after the break im sure.. i didn't know yours is so similar to my experience.. i was 18 when decided to go away to study. Still i spent one day crying before my parents left me in chennai back to kol.. at 22 again i left no stones unturned to prepare for studiz in US, once everything worked out the fact dawned upon me, i refused to come, got a job.. but cudn't say no finally cos my parents were so happy, n i knew tat was best for me. also, certain changes forced me to kinda escape. After 1 and half yrs tat ill visit home now im scared, partly of the changes, stepping into the house w/o my grandma to greet me(who passed away recently).im afraid the equation is gonna change.. i'm this pampered li'l kid used to fight wit ma parents for pocketmoney n shopping, etc.. n now its so different, its me who will get gifts for people bak home.. n i cant decide how to feel about it, good or bad, cos its jus different..al i know is i don like growing up so soon (not so soon, 23 :p) but when i miss home i cant call at home and cry, cos i don want them to feel bad or get worried.. ive learnt it the hard way.. once when i got impulsive and did it at 18, everyone at home started crying lol.. n i ended up laughing at them

kiran said...

Thats heavenly! You know one of the best aspects of this write up is that it is UNIVERSAL. I was able to identify with the write up as much as you. Every human being has this 'longing for his/her roots' and this is best demonstrated by the feeling of loneliness that assails us when we are far away from home.The most endearing quality of your write up was the innocence and simplicity that seeped through it...I loved your post.Keep posting!

Anonymous said...

Hummmm my post was not published, I had to re-write!
Great post Parna...
In few words, you describe what people from any culture feel when living far from home!
I do agree with Sejuti (miss or Mr)... You definitly should visit home. It helps giving you "new blood" or great energy/confidence/force to acomplish successfully what (or whatever) you do! So, make every effort to go home and see your loved ones! Sometimes in life we ignore the importance of doing it and regreat later the missed opportunity of spending enough time with family! things happen and life is short as they say....lol
Cheers,

Sam said...

defn a toast!! i understand it is after quite sometime that you'd be flying home... have a nice time there...
you wudn't be stopping by at London by any chance wud you?? :P

Saurabh Kukreti said...

kidnapping.. hmmm.

-Saurabh

Aparna Kar said...

@Sam
Should stop by Heathrow if I take British Airways; I have not decided yet. I definitely am not going to fly Air India. One of my friends is visiting home now and he had a harrowing experience at JFK Airport. They didn't even bother to notify the customers when a flight was canceled.

And it isn't much - would be just about one and a half years in Dec 2008. I have stayed about two and a half years without visiting home when I was in North India - though my parents visited me often then.

zoxcleb said...

home is where the heart is :-)

saikat said...

Home is where Life is :)

gr8 to hear that you are coming back home :) ... kaku kakima should be overjoyed :)

lemme prepare for kick boxing lest we meet and you beat the shit out of me :P

Cheers and stay well

Sam said...

oh... just as well..
shud u be stopping over at london city lemme knw... wud like to say hello to one of my fav bloggers!! :)