An exercise in vulnerability

Share your vulnerability. No games.

We feel so misunderstood so many times that we feel scared to share even a bit of ourselves with the world. Why don’t you write something on a piece of paper or in your diary and share it with me? In return, I will send something I have written. Could be a past entry.

No judgements. No comments. No editing grammar. Just two people being real with each other.

Send me a picture of your writing (this has to be handwritten) on messenger, WhatsApp or to thevariegatedsky@gmail.com. Looking forward to reading your entries. Thanks for playing along 😊

Letter from a Leaf

I attended a writing workshop yesterday at The Arsenal by Lita Kurth, the co-founder of Flash Fiction Forum, San Jose. We did several exercises, one of which was to pen down either an autobiography of a leaf or a letter from a leaf. I chose the later. I would like to share the first draft with you.

Dear Ma,

It has been a while since I last saw you. After the gardener had pruned some of our sisters with his gigantic shears, we lay on the ground for hours in the scorching heat. Some of us crumbled and gave up. But Tessa and I kept hoping for a spot of rain.

A young woman with purple hair picked us up and took us home. She put us on her writing desk and started sketching details of our anatomy. Occasionally, she touched or smelled us. We were delighted to be there.

But soon her art project ended, and she threw Tessa away. I did not see her after that. The woman put me in one of her notebooks, and now I live across one of the poems she wrote about love. One day, I saw her weep. Her teardrops fell on a few lines of my neighboring poem and smudged a few words. When she closed the notebook, I got a black stain. But I don't mind. I had seen the woman when she was most vulnerable, and I think it is a privilege.

Don't worry about me. I'm living beyond the lifespan of my other siblings who fell to the ground the day we were pruned. Sometimes, it makes me feel guilty. But I think you'll be happy to know that I survived.

Your loving daughter,

Gina

*

Version 2 (edited to add more details)

Dear Mom,

It has been a while since I last felt your warmth and strength that comforted me during dark stormy nights. After the gardener had pruned some of our sisters with his gigantic shears, we lay on the ground for hours in the scorching heat. Some of us crumbled and gave up. But Tessa and I kept hoping for a spot of rain.

A young woman with purple hair picked us up and took us home. She put us on her writing desk and started sketching details of our anatomy. Occasionally, she touched or smelled us. We were delighted to be there. Everything in the room was purple- the lampshades, the curtains, even little yarn balls that hung from the ceiling.

But soon her art project ended, and she threw Tessa away. I did not see her after that. The woman put me in one of her notebooks, and now I live across one of the poems she wrote about love. One day, I saw her weep. Her teardrops fell on a few lines of my neighboring poem and smudged a few words. When she closed the notebook, I got a black stain. But I don't mind. I had seen the woman when she was most vulnerable, and I think it is a privilege.

Don't worry about me. I'm living beyond the lifespan of my other siblings who fell to the ground the day we were pruned. Sometimes, it makes me feel guilty. But I think you'll be happy to know that I survived.

Your loving daughter,

Patia

Living in the moment, creative visualization, and some Jedi advice

Problems
One of the biggest challenges I face every day is over thinking. This uses up my mental energy and leaves very little to pursue creative channels that should otherwise be my primary focus. I am working for two anchor clients presently, and I need considerable time just to think about design elements that can make my final product better. When stray thoughts break out into a flash mob, I have to hold the reins of my thoughts and guide myself towards the task at hand.

It helps to have a job that you love. But for people like me, who like to indulge in daydreams, the Jedi have a word of advice: Live in the present moment.

Recurrent challenges of everyday life
Usually, I take advantage of my focus in the morning, when the mind is relatively clear. As soon as I wake up, I make myself a cup of coffee and get to work. This is the most productive part of my day. As the day progresses, the distractions begin to appear- making a phone call, checking my email, stealing a peep into my FB, maybe even replying to Whatsapp messages. I have it under control now because I don't allow myself to pick up my phone that often. All notifications are silent, and my phone is set not to ring.

Lunch time is always a challenge because I end up taking the longest break during that time. I work from home mostly, so I have to cook too. Though there are no elaborate feasts, I need a couple of hours to prepare lunch and dinner for the day. That means my work day extends well beyond regular 9-5 routine. I find myself working until before dinner time, especially if the challenge is particularly interesting.

Suggested solutions
A few hours outdoors is essential for the mind to reanimate itself, enabling you to think of an alternative and often a more creative solution.

Let's be realistic. We will never stop day-dreaming. But we can guide our unstructured daydreaming into structured creative visualizations and build new neural pathways. In essence, we will be reprogramming our brains.

Another way to conserve mental energy is to minimize negative thoughts about yourself and others. You may not realize this, but when you think or speak negatively about someone, it sends negative messages to your unconscious.  In the long run, it makes you feel a lot worse than the dark, fleeting joy of gossiping. We have a rule in our house- we do not discuss people until necessary.

In times of self-doubt, list your accomplishments. I am sure that every one of us has done something we can be proud of. In your darkest despair, borrow the light from your most glorious moments.

And lastly, a word from Jedi Master Yoda: “Always pass on what you have learned.”