Pushing yourself: Is it really worth it?

We often find ourselves wondering when things get uncomfortable - is it really worth it? However, nothing of value can be achieved if we don't feel the heat- both physically and mentally.

I am highly diabetic. Good diet and exercise keep me alive and kicking for another day. Eating out leaves me feeling groggy with elevated blood sugar and affects my energy levels even the following day. Ever since I was diagnosed, I have cooked meals for myself every single day. This takes time and so I preferred to work-from-home for my employees. Recently, a role change has required me to go to work every day and eat out occasionally. I try my best to pack a lunch from home. But some days, when clients visit, the day starts early and ends late with no energy or enthusiasm left for cooking.

Longer work days also mean that the propensity to relax on weekends is more than the inclination to socialize. I like to have my friends over and have them enjoy my cooking. But SG and I also want to catch up on chores and have relaxed conversations without feeling the rush to accomplish anything on Saturdays and Sundays. Sometimes, I find myself preparing for the following week at work and with joy. This has been a tremendous learning experience for me. And I am grateful for it.

I like to voice my thoughts over a mic and feel connected to an audience. I have missed out on attending Live Lit on Thursdays for the past two months. Something I had been committed to for over a year. These are trade-offs of things I value.  I don't like saying that 'I am busy.' That is abstract. I like to define that I can have consecutive 10-hours days and since it is a start-up, everyone has to pull their weight. Also, this is more than just a 'job' for me, so I want to do my best.

I had two options:

1. Stay in a comfortable job and learn marginally. 
2. Push myself to the limit and see how far I can grow.

The seed would never grow if it were comfortable in the warmth of the earth, It decides to push against the dirt to become self-sufficient. Similarly, you have to step out of your comfort zone and expose yourselves to different energies. Allow yourself to feel the discomfort. Allow yourself to fail even. But focus on the growth. Only the growth.

Living in the moment, creative visualization, and some Jedi advice

Problems
One of the biggest challenges I face every day is over thinking. This uses up my mental energy and leaves very little to pursue creative channels that should otherwise be my primary focus. I am working for two anchor clients presently, and I need considerable time just to think about design elements that can make my final product better. When stray thoughts break out into a flash mob, I have to hold the reins of my thoughts and guide myself towards the task at hand.

It helps to have a job that you love. But for people like me, who like to indulge in daydreams, the Jedi have a word of advice: Live in the present moment.

Recurrent challenges of everyday life
Usually, I take advantage of my focus in the morning, when the mind is relatively clear. As soon as I wake up, I make myself a cup of coffee and get to work. This is the most productive part of my day. As the day progresses, the distractions begin to appear- making a phone call, checking my email, stealing a peep into my FB, maybe even replying to Whatsapp messages. I have it under control now because I don't allow myself to pick up my phone that often. All notifications are silent, and my phone is set not to ring.

Lunch time is always a challenge because I end up taking the longest break during that time. I work from home mostly, so I have to cook too. Though there are no elaborate feasts, I need a couple of hours to prepare lunch and dinner for the day. That means my work day extends well beyond regular 9-5 routine. I find myself working until before dinner time, especially if the challenge is particularly interesting.

Suggested solutions
A few hours outdoors is essential for the mind to reanimate itself, enabling you to think of an alternative and often a more creative solution.

Let's be realistic. We will never stop day-dreaming. But we can guide our unstructured daydreaming into structured creative visualizations and build new neural pathways. In essence, we will be reprogramming our brains.

Another way to conserve mental energy is to minimize negative thoughts about yourself and others. You may not realize this, but when you think or speak negatively about someone, it sends negative messages to your unconscious.  In the long run, it makes you feel a lot worse than the dark, fleeting joy of gossiping. We have a rule in our house- we do not discuss people until necessary.

In times of self-doubt, list your accomplishments. I am sure that every one of us has done something we can be proud of. In your darkest despair, borrow the light from your most glorious moments.

And lastly, a word from Jedi Master Yoda: “Always pass on what you have learned.”

5 positive traits you could develop

Motivation: Most self-help books you read will start with a chapter on motivation and goals. And this is not just a vague idea about your destination. You need to visualize what you want. For example, when I was applying to a B-School I wanted to get into, I put an aerial view of the University as my laptop background. Each day I would see the image and say to myself, 'I will be there soon'. And I did. The trick is to get so engrossed in what you are doing that nothing should distract you. It also works for a relation you want to forge or improve. Your purpose or meaning in life might change with age, but what matters is that you are willing to offer yourself entirely to the cause.

Emotional stability :You have the image in mind; now you have to materialize it. And to do this you need hard work. You also need to have a calm approach to yourself and to others. You acknowledge that there are negative emotions, such as anger and anxiety, but you have to work with them rather than letting them overcome you. Indulgence is easy. There is a certain amount of gratification, but being able to control your extremes is a trait you certainly will find great use for in both your personal and professional lives.

Positive mindset: It is not easy to see the brighter side of everything, especially when nothing seems to go right. But you have to find a way- just one silver lining- in situations and in people. Include yourself in that list.

Self-Awareness: It takes a sagacious person to know his most authentic self. Your capability, who you are to others, who you can become- are all important aspects of your personality. You are not perfect, but as long as you enjoy learning from new experiences, you will become better. However, the learning is not a passive act; it is an active effort to progress, and it works wonder for even the most mediocre person. Politicians learn to speak publicly, arts students learn to code. You analyze your strengths and weakness and work accordingly.

Flexibility in behavior: Adaptation is critical to biological evolution because it provides improved function. Color change to camouflage from predators, a protein that works better with the change of environmental temperature, an anatomical modification that helps forage for resources- these are not very different from the psychological perspective of adaptation. You have a different persona for different people. You will not engage your 5-year old nephew in the same way you'd deliberate with a professional relation. There is no con in it; just an improved function to converse more efficaciously.

Here is a worksheet pdf to reflect on some of the points we discussed in this post: