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Tuesday, September 25, 2018

Pushing yourself: Is it really worth it?

We often find ourselves wondering when things get uncomfortable - is it really worth it? However, nothing of value can be achieved if we don't feel the heat- both physically and mentally.

I am highly diabetic. Good diet and exercise keep me alive and kicking for another day. Eating out leaves me feeling groggy with elevated blood sugar and affects my energy levels even the following day. Ever since I was diagnosed, I have cooked meals for myself every single day. This takes time and so I preferred to work-from-home for my employees. Recently, a role change has required me to go to work every day and eat out occasionally. I try my best to pack a lunch from home. But some days, when clients visit, the day starts early and ends late with no energy or enthusiasm left for cooking.

Longer work days also mean that the propensity to relax on weekends is more than the inclination to socialize. I like to have my friends over and have them enjoy my cooking. But SG and I also want to catch up on chores and have relaxed conversations without feeling the rush to accomplish anything on Saturdays and Sundays. Sometimes, I find myself preparing for the following week at work and with joy. This has been a tremendous learning experience for me. And I am grateful for it.

I like to voice my thoughts over a mic and feel connected to an audience. I have missed out on attending Live Lit on Thursdays for the past two months. Something I had been committed to for over a year. These are trade-offs of things I value.  I don't like saying that 'I am busy.' That is abstract. I like to define that I can have consecutive 10-hours days and since it is a start-up, everyone has to pull their weight. Also, this is more than just a 'job' for me, so I want to do my best.

I had two options:
  1. Stay in a comfortable job and learn marginally. 
  2. Push myself to the limit and see how far I can grow.
The seed would never grow if it were comfortable in the warmth of the earth, It decides to push against the dirt to become self-sufficient. Similarly, you have to step out of your comfort zone and expose yourselves to different energies. Allow yourself to feel the discomfort. Allow yourself to fail even. But focus on the growth. Only the growth.

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