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Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Don't get mad, get even!

I wonder if cricket is not going to be a major contributing factor in the increased divorce rate of India surpassing all other reasons, namely:

Poor communication
Financial problems
A lack of commitment to the marriage
A dramatic change in priorities

Or at least a few break-ups among the committed ones. Studies show that premarital (or early marital) variables can predict which couples will do well and which will not with accuracies of 80% up to 94%
(e.g., Clements, Stanley, & Markman, 1997; Fowers, Montel, & Olson,1996; Gottman, 1994; Karney & Bradbury, 1995; Kelly & Conley, 1987; and Rogge & Bradbury, in press).

Oh don't worry. This not my Anthropology thesis. Let me put things more simply. Take any random couple from urban India.

He knows I am not well and he did not even care to call and ask how I am doing.
I called up at his office, his phone was busy.
His status icon shows he's online- but he has not even messaged me.
I know he is going back now home now and he still hasn't called me yet.
He does not care what I feel about him.
He makes no effort to fulfill my expectations.
He doesn't love me.
I have wasted three years of my life.
I can't live with such a monster.

Today the deciding match of Bangladesh VS Sri Lanka will influence the position of India a lot in the World Cup and my boss is not even letting me go home early. Shit! I can't even think straight.


candid diary said...

I dunno if you saw the ad where the husband watching TV puts on a headphone, wife announces arrival plan of her mother and all sorts of wrong communication start. The wife declares her decision to desert him.
During world cup football some house wives from Europe decided not to be left behind by their husbands going to watch world cup matches (why should boys have all the fun?) and went out on tour to have some real masti. Fighting between couples during NBL or soccer matches is very common in US.
Unless !ncredible team India bows out of B group in WC an average Indian male will now prefer sitting before TV than going to bed early. Indian team’s disastrous performance may save many marriages in India.
Nice observation in ur post.

he said...

He knows I am not well and he did not even care to call and ask how I am doing.
What can he do when u r not well 360 days a year and the other 5 days r when u two don't get to talk. So he is not sure how u r doing on those 5 days.. May be he can set his caller tune as "How r u?" or may be "Get Well Soon". that whenever u call, u know he is concerned about u

I called up at his office, his phone was busy.
He can not afford to have an secretary in office so romping with her is out of window..Unless he is working with a BPO, probability that he will be having an affair in office is very low ..Moreover after having one affair he realizes its not his game. So he wud be avoiding any (chances r low thatz why I used any) pretty thing giving him right signals

His status icon shows he's online- but he has not even messaged me.
If the guy can get on net in office than the first thing he will do on reaching office is get online..After that he will be online till he is in office but that window wont be the one he is working on. So he will take time to realize that u r online or u have pinged him..i think google cud add the feature of "ur sick GF is about to be hospitalized" flashing on his screen..whenever she comes online..any takers for this idea?

I know he is going back now home now and he still hasn't called me yet.
Recently Delhi police had hiked the fine to 5000 bucks for talking on mobile while driving. Its not about the 500 he wud need to shell out as bribe. He is afraid of having to deal with that constable who wud act as the smartest thing under the sun..but since u never read a newspaper..never knew about hassles of dealing with a police constable can you knw..oops his fault again

He does not care what I feel about him.
He wud care once he realizes what u feel about him..its simple a guy can never and I mean NEVER ever understand what a gal feels about him..Though he pretends that he does and always prays that something happens to him and he knows What Women (Plural, but does not mean GF, its every women he met) Want ?

He makes no effort to fulfill my expectations.
Same as previous one..ur expectations depend on the mood ur in at that instant of time and guys r still struggling hard to find a way to know ur expectations. Its like guys have binary thinking its 1 or 0. Gals go till 10th place of decimal so u have millions of variations from 0 to 1.

He doesn't love me.
Now what is love and why does everything start with love and end with "He doesn't love me"

I have wasted three years of my life.
Maybe yes ...but on second thoughts how wud u have made ur life more meaningful in those 3 yrs..I dont think u wud have got a call for NASA to go to Mars or be a secret agent with CIA. I don't even see Bush/Brad/Bill having an affair with u.............

I can't live with such a monster.
He is a monster thatz why u wasted 3 years of ur life with him and called him ur BF. If he was not a monster u wud have called him a Guy Pal ( Just referring to one of ur old posts)

Finally Him
Today the deciding match of Bangladesh VS Sri Lanka will influence the position of India a lot in the World Cup and my boss is not even letting me go home early. Shit! I can't even think straight..

For Heaven's sake stop watching "Pyar ke side effects" ..He has stopped caring about Indian cricket team since hardly matters to him who wins...

mahant said...

There is a concept of 'football widows' in US and UK, which is a similar phenomenon. Football in the two countries referes to different games. Read the definition and the survival guide.
Survival guide :

Another fact in US is that the water pressure in the pipelines takes a dip at the half time because everyone watching the game goes for a break.

Quentin Crisp said...

The formula for a successful relationship is simple: Treat all disasters as if they were trivialities, but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster

No Name said...

behind every infidel man there is a woman...and this vice goes on..

what purpose does marriage serve when the gully and short mid wicket do not need that institution..

no problem if u can't think straight..healthy cricket demands it..

sudipto said...

@Quentin Crisp....
u can treat a disaster as a triviality if and only if that is really trivial...! its pity that often triviality ends up in disaster..!! but i dont think a real disaster can be forgot as triviality.....!!!

now a serious equation.....
1.if indian wins today they are through to 2nd round
2.if india loses....
A.india will come back to india if banladesh wins against bermuda
B.bermuda can do unthinkable to help india to 2nd round(????????)

Aparna Kar said...

Wow! A plethora of reactions. And I thought it was a post majorly about cricket!
Can't miss the match today.. will reply to individual comments later..

I still remember the last world cup that I happened to watch in my hostel with my friends.. it was great fun to holler our lungs out to cheer our teams-
much to the dismay of our hostel administrator who asked the guys and gals to separate out. But the boys had gotten us a B-I-G screen TV instead of the usual ones we had in our common rooms and they argued since we contributed equally, we couldn't be asked to leave after 11 PM ( the usual time for girls to go back to their rooms)

The next best thing about any game ( other than the game itself ) is probably the crowd and the mass reaction...

I really miss my family during the matches..

The Phosgene Kid said...

Here it is hockey or football. The only difference between those and cricket is football and hockey games eventually end.

sangram said...

oh...sigh....indian, publicity, propaganda, love life, married life disastor, showcasing, style, growing long hair, eating burgers and french fries, pre-marital affairs, pride, --- a multitude of traits linked to indian cricketers. they need to come out of the shell. they are physically unfit, mentally weak, lacks motivation in all possible manner, almost negative killer instinct and never heard of the word "challenge". A serious input to all players: achieving glory temporalily is good, but its not the pill to take you into self-satisfaction and in turn preparing yourself to diminishing returns. workout more, dedicate yourself completely to the sport, make yourself strong rather than being cocky or stylish, and lead the life of a true sportsman with the right amount of spirit, will power and determination. nothing can stop you. a wise man once said:
a true fighter will always remain a fighter and thts wht he is destined for.

Aparna Kar said...


The Videocon Cordless Commercial you mean.
I watched it on 23rd.
Oh btw, Team India just decided to save the remaining marriages.
Never mind the alleged 150-crore loss of advertisers' money because India failed to make it to the Super 8.

Aparna Kar said...

Interesting bit about the water pressure.
But I am in sync with Candid's info about the European football widows going out on a tour to have fun on their own. And it's not only about cricket or football or hockey.
It could be fishing, trekking, bowling, pool.. anything at all. It's when people forget the limits of entertainment and let it encroach in the domain of duties and the resultant abrupt change of priorities that makes it difficult to accept.

Some things can get worse. Most which have seasons are safer.
I read an excerpt in my mail from A.Word.A.Day, which I found interesting:

"I am having an affair. My wife knows about it. How could she not, considering all the afternoons I'm away from home, working at satisfying my extracurricular passion? From all this I experience emotions quite omnifarious, from joy to anger to frustration to deep love. And it's been going on for 30 years. It's golf I'm talking about."

Hubert Mizell; Only One Sport is Worthy of Undying Love; St. Petersburg Times (Florida); Aug 16, 1988.

roamingpanda said...

Incidently there are more serious concerns... How about the husband being addicted to computer gaming, or online gambling, or pornography?

True, cricket addiction could cause conflict and difference of opinion between soulmates. However not to the extent of shaking the foundations of a serious relationship or a marriage. Well, if it does, one would perhaps question the stability of the relationship itself.

Personally, I believe that one of the foundations of a meaningful relationship is the ability to give each other space and the ability to realize when the other person wants her/his space.

Now, I am not a cricket lover myself and am not trying to defend the sport...

I've come across far too many cricket-loving Dravid-drooling women to be convinced that only men could harm relationships this way....

Harm is perhaps a strong word to use. It'll probably end up in a small fight and a kiss-and-makeup scene later.... :)

Aparna Kar said...

computer gaming, or online gambling, or pornography?
Hmmm. Grave concerns. How about a divorce then?
No seriously, would the SC grant any kind of "addiction" as a ground for divorce?

Unilateral refusal to have a child has been listed under mental cruelty ( The case of Samar Ghosh vs Jaya Ghosh)
But what about cases where the home is run by just one partner and the husband (usually in the Indian scenario) thinks all he has to do is bring home the bacon and spend rest of the evening in front of the sofa watching the idiot box?
Most progressive males nowadays don't subscribe to the idea anymore and they believe they can equally contribute into making a house into a "home", just like their better halves are juggling between their careers and their role as homemakers.

I don't deem "cricket-loving Dravid-drooling women "as serious threats. Not after a girl is 15+.
It is born more from the necessity of celebrity worship when most teens can be found putting wallpapers of their idols all around.
Moreover, evolutionary biologists say it is natural for humans to look up to individuals who receive attention because they have succeeded in a society.

In prehistoric times, this would have meant respecting good hunters and elders.

Cricket or anything at all- as long as it a shared interest - it is a positive binding force. It is when people go out of their way- it should be dealt with more maturely.
I was edging only on the humorous side of the affair. But your comment made me think about the "other" things as well.
Thanks for sharing your views :)

Btw, where is the link to your blog in your home page?