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Sunday, February 10, 2008

Girls' Night Out-II


I

In the past 24 hours, I had the most well deserved break of my life. On Saturday morning, I woke up still trying to figure what would be my best plan of action to deal with my week ahead. Then, I did what works best: nose-dive into what comes to mind first. By the time I was through with my Microeconomics chapters, it was time to go out for a dinner at Bombay Club that we had planned almost a week ahead. There were nine of us. Seated clockwise from my left were: SG1 from BU, SS1 and SS2 from Tufts, IB and GP from MIT, SG2 from Tufts again, and RC & ADB working in PWC. It was quite a mixed crowd with different personality profiles- the kind I find interesting. The occasion was RC and ADB's visit to Boston from NYC.

You tend to talk and listen more to people seated immediately next to you. And I was having an effective range till SG1 to my left and RC to my right. And I can admit that RC has quite a big circle of influence when it comes to communication, while SS2 mostly kept quiet during the evening, except to support me once and at another time to disagree with me, to effect my reaction: Eki? Tui o party badlu? ( What! You too change parties? ) in 'Et tu, Brute?' style.

IB and GP tried to talk to me diagonally from the opposite end of the rectangular table but they were hardly audible. Anyways, it was a pleasant evening except for a li'l hassle when RC asked the spelling of IB's surname and he opined that it is not an illogical question but an indecent one. I couldn't figure out what I had missed but I could sure feel the heat. Then we got distracted when the waiter refused to serve me a glass of Chardonnay (white wine from Napa), because I wasn't carrying an age proof and he thought aloud: 'You look too young !' Damn it! I look quite my age! Why am I the only one who needs to carry an age proof to get liquor served? Come on ! SS1 (who's younger to me !) bailed me out when she ordered two glasses for herself and I knew that SG1 has now yet another reason to boss over me and say: Ae baccha, bacchar moto thaak ! (Kid, be like the kid you are) or Chup! Mukhe angool! ( Quiet! Finger on your lips!), like I were in some Kindergarten school.

We had a cozy table talk during dinner and parted at the Harvard Square red line T-station. GP requested me to sing a song (His reason: 'Bengali girls can sing well'). I promised I will. Maybe on SS1's birthday next week. Hmm. And I still don't know what to give her. Wish she would tell me!

IB and GP had to take an inbound train to Kendall/MIT and SG1 had to take the inbound to Central Square. The rest of us were taking the outbound to Davis Square. I would have taken the inbound too if I didn't happen to decide to stay at SS1's place for the night instead of going back all the way to JFK/UMASS.

SG1 and I never say goodbye without hugging each other and when he bid me a very distant goodnight with others, I felt weird. I asked SS1 and the others to go ahead towards the outbound, 'I'll join you guys in a moment' I said. But the inbound train had already arrived at the platform and SG1 was running towards it. I decided to let go and when I returned, I saw RC trying to peek below to see what was happening. I made sure I slapped him hard on the back and asked: 'Ae ! Ki dekhar chesta korchilis re?' (What were you trying to see, huh?) in a mock chiding voice.

I was unhappy too to disappoint RC but I understood why SG1 hadn't hugged me goodbye. :D

My revenge consummated when RC had to wear a backless shocking pink dress of SS1 while playing 'Truth or dare' that night. And you should have seen ADB dance to the tunes of Kajra Re. He looked like he has been subjected to some kind of medieval form of torture. ( I actually had hot iron rods in mind :D) SS1 had to do a pole dance and act like a newly hatched bird. I had to pretend that I have an upset stomach. While they applauded my natural talent at acting, I refrained from saying that I actually did suffer a lot from untimely calls from nature as a kid :D

Sunday morning rolled on to Sunday afternoon and after checking the time on my cell at 7:00 am and 9:42 am, I finally stretched myself at around 12:26 pm. We played football on the snow in the afternoon with RC and me teamed against ADB and SS1. Any guesses who won and by how much ? :)
Caught in red pajamas by RC's candid camera @ Sejuti's place, Medford, MA, when it had just begun to snow again.



II

SG2 (SS1's roommate :refer to Girls' Night Out) was watching a movie when I woke up and I decided to give her company. It was a 1971 Basu Bhattacharya movie titled 'Anubhav' where Sanjeev Kumar is an editor named Amar Sen and Tanuja plays his wife Meeta Sen. Dinesh Thakur is the ex-flame of Tanuja , who gets recruited by Sanjeev to work for the same organization. Things get ugly when Sanjeev discovers this truth about her past and finds it difficult to accept it. The beauty of the movie is the absence of redundant dialogs and the subtle change in facial expressions and body language of the actors, including A.K. Hangal, who plays the servant Hari and smiles shyly and contently when finally the husband and wife get intimate after years of a loveless marriage. A must-watch for committed couples or at least for those who intend to get committed. :D

Many a times, some of us in a relation might feel resigned to the person we have decided to spend our life with or we might find ourselves complaining that the passion that was there is ebbing. (Unlike the film, where there was no passion to begin with, they learned they were in love with each other much later.)

Why does the certainty of a relation steal its charm instead of adding grace to it? Is it because in friendship, we build on what we have - trying to make it something better, but in certain other relations, we start taking things for granted and make zero efforts to improve them ? Probably.

I saw a forward mail from the BF of a friend where he wrote : 'I am proud of you' in reply to a comment published by her in indiatimes on an article. And I wondered how long it has been since I had said something like this to my guy? Even for the most trifle of matter? That 'I am proud of you'? Or simply: 'I treasure you'?

We have been so busy with our lives lately that the subtleties have reduced considerably. For instance, I used to call him up once in the afternoon for a minute or so, just to hear his voice. Lately, I have been under too much pressure to perform even that little ceremony. Obviously, there can be innumerable ways to show that you care, as long as you are in love.

Yesterday was one such occasion when we were together, socializing as a couple. And we did well. It would be tragic to see two people who get along with other people so well, not getting along with each other. In fact, I wouldn't let it happen to us. Neither would he.

P.S. My best friend Raikishori Ganguly is getting married around 6 pm IST on 11th February, 2008. You can leave a wish for her here if you please. Thanks in advance.

23 comments:

Saurabh said...

interesting montage... not quite vintage stuff. but some where close to it

sangram said...

this keeps on going :D... i munched on a few peanuts and drank two glasses of coke, and finally popped in a chewing gum reading your "thesis" of saturday night "fever"...
hehe

Aparna Kar said...

@sangram
Peanuts and coke? And you? Am I reading it right? :O Anyways, even the thesis does no justice to the kaleidoscope I experienced :D

Aparna Kar said...

@saurabh
Hope I mature like wine as a writer. I can wait to be vintage :)

arnab said...

i don't understand what is it about constant reminders of affection that is considered vital for a relationship - are couples supposed to be so unsure? of course, in america you always see that in popular culture. i wonder why. is it just another necessity for commercializing love? i, for once, is relived to be living in a place where nobody constantly bombards you with v-day ads. you won't even know it's coming up unless you are looking for it.

btw, there are people in our generation with the name raikishori? awesome!!!

Sam said...

Quite liked the way you went about etching out your Saturday night blast... it was really nice. made me feel like going out there and joining you guys!! :P

Now, in case of relationships, when certainty settles in i guess we tend to take it as a fruit of all our labour and relax. At that point of time we tend to overlook or miss the small things that made things special. Soon this becomes a habit. As the euphoria of certainty ebbs, we suddenly start grapling with the fact that things aren't as rosy as it was before.. and that's when we say stuff like "The magic is lost." Whereas al that it takes is a little travel back in time, a time when you were dating, trying to woo each other.

Munmun said...

Yeah I know. The moment you start not cherishing a relationship, you know it's faltering. Been through this :)

But nice time you had. I love girls' night outs. Don't get to do many of late though...

Aparna Kar said...

@arnab
It is not about insecurity, it is too much of security I am talking about. The 'constant reminders of affection that is considered vital for a relationship' needn't necessarily be public display of affection. It can be something as momentary as an exchange of glances across a crowded room or holding hands beneath the dining table or simply laughing on a private joke. It can be any little moment that enriches the relation. You got the premise wrong. It is just valuing those little moments. And I believe that romantic love, like any other relation, isn't one big thing- it is a number of small things.

Btw, her name has been an onus to her many a times. And I have seen very people in our generation who can appreciate the name raikishori .

Aparna Kar said...

@Sam
You bet! We had a blast :D

And just as they say: 'Don't rest on your laurels', I'd like to say "Don't rest on your roses either' :D

Aparna Kar said...

@munmun
Hmm. Surely, we can do something about it someday ? I'm glad you could empathize with what I was trying to script in here. :)

Dolby said...

my wishes to ur friend "Raikishori Ganguly" for joining the elite band wagon of family men. btw wht does "Raikishori" means?

Aparna Kar said...

@dolby
Umm. Family women you mean? It is another name for 'Radha' I guess.

Aparna Kar said...

I dunno who this guy is but he sure does have his fundas clear :D Have a look here:
Love is...not looking to the next table , and And what is Love but a captivating illusion in a forbidding reality

Munmun said...

Yeah sure why not! I am up for a girls' night out sometime with you. :D

By the way on a different context, found this really nice quote. Thought would share it with you :)

"Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. "
- Corinthians, The New Testament.

candid diary said...
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candid diary said...
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candid diary said...

Anubhav reminded me of Charulata (story by Tagore called Nastaneed, filmed by Ray in 1964, and titled The Lonely Wife in English title) in many ways. In Charulata, Bhupati, the protagonist and Charu’s husband is a news paper editor too and Charu is the lonely wife. Amal, Bhupati’s brother, is not Charu’s old flame but lonely Charu quickly finds solace in Amal’s company. The similarities actually stop at the endings. In Charulata, Bhupati and Charu fail to cement the broken conjugal relationship whereas Amar and Meeta recharge their batteries (:D) after the close encounter between the two old flames. Yes, Harihar Zariwala aka Sanjeev Kumar, Tanuja and AK Hangal were great in their roles.
Our gizmos improve every day but a conjugal relationship is, to my mind, like bullock cart wheels which, unless oiled regularly, will only create noisy ambiance and break down, finally. Yes, problems start when either or both the partners start taking things for granted and make zero efforts to improve the relation or maintain it at its best possible level.
All the very best for your best friend Raikishori Ganguly and her hubby for a long happily married life. They may not have time to watch either Anubhav or Charulata as both of them will be very busy with themselves and their professional lives in Mumbai now.

Aparna Kar said...

@candid
Thanks for the reference, I'm yet to watch Charulata, but I guess I saw the video tape back home some long years ago. The metaphor of bullock cart explains it well, I'd also like to add that the effort has to be from both the wheels to get ahead in life. And there has to be some kind of similarity inspite of apparent differences, so both the partners can move in the same direction. The common goal could be quest for happiness.

When I was in Noida, I'd often see two donkeys tied at the feet together so that they do not graze too far away from the owner's land. And I 'd think to myself, if I am ever in a relation, this is the last thing I'd want to happen to me !

Recharging batteries (:D) is essential. I could even do a few tips on that from a veteran like you :)

Yeah, I too hope that she finds all the happiness in life. And I guess both of them will be busy making films themselves :) Am really looking forward to her next film. In fact, she wanted to do a short film on one of my posts, 'The Sea' . The only trouble was that we couldn't find a sea to shoot back then. Maybe next time if I go to India, I will get it shot in Mumbai :)

Aparna Kar said...

@munmun
Thanks for sharing it :)
'..it keeps no record of wrongs" made the most sense to me. Life will have it ups and downs. It is choosing to be happy that truly can make you happy. Also, I have come to realize that there's a never a wrong person, only an incorrect perspective. When I choose to be happy with someone, there's no reason why it shouldn't work out well if we both have the inherent quest for happiness and not for discontentment. Little differences can always be sorted out and as you rightly quoted 'love is not easily angered'. Life is too short for love, why waste time in anger?

Shantanu said...

It was the diagram that drew me in. :-)

Great post, though. Reminded me of forgotten times...

Bubbles of FireWhisky said...

lovely post... threw me into nostalgia 2... b congrats 2 r friend... i wish her gr8 joy...

Anonymous said...

Raikishori means young Radha before she reached womanhood i.e. Radha in Kishori stage.
To some people Radha or Rai or Raikishori is symbol of eternal love and will never be out of date.
Btw, etymologically, Arnab (=ship) is a Sanskrit word older than Raikishori which started being used from the days of Bangla Vaishnab Sahitya. What is so awesome abt Raikishori? Is a lengthy name out of fashion? About evolution of names and people's misconception there is a beautiful chapter in Freakonomics.

Aparna Kar said...

@anonymous
Wow! There seems to be a battle raging here. Btw, Arnab is also a synonym for sea, as far as I remember.