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Saturday, March 14, 2009

Happiness

is not a state; it is a process. It is not in being; it is in becoming.

No wonder my blog has started reading like a Twitter feed. When you are juggling your studies and trying to improve a current GPA of 3.8/4.0. And you are doing your own groceries, cooking, cleaning, laundrying, squeezing some time to write the articles you have committed to, updating events, attending socials - you'll probably have very little time to do what you love doing the most in your free time. Because you hardly have any 'free time'.

I fear that I'll become an emotional Spartan, sensing a vacuosness inside me sometimes, not knowing anymore what makes me really happy. However, the feeling is temporal. In fact, I am learning to suck the marrow out of life now, and trying to live it to the greatest depth and breadth I possibly can.

Am I complaining? Hell, no ! There is something about this country. It gives you a chance to perform your best, and it expects nothing but the best from you. I often wonder how many like me have left behind their comfort zones and dared to start from scratch. And I don't mean just the international student population here. Even a guy from the east coast who has to relocate to the west coast or vice versa would face the same issues.

Making a fresh start. Where no one knows who you are. The accomplishments of my precedents burdened me as a kid. Here, no one asks me what my father or grandfather achieved in their lifetimes. Sometimes, I miss the recognition associated with my family name. Though, living away from home for a while before I left my country got me acquainted with that.

Someone said: I envy you. You manage things so well.
I thought to myself: It is all about priorities.

Dad says : 'The hero of every day mundane life is the ultimate hero.' I believe that. That is why I try to micromanage my task list. Shuffling and reshuffling. Trying to get the best possible combination of priorities and executing them as I go.

Sometimes, you are aggressive. Sometimes, you have to step back. But you have to go on. Everyday, I ask myself what did I learn today? Sometimes, the answer is not so evident. Most of the times, it astonishes me.

6 comments:

sangram said...

Yeah... Its all about freedom, creating your own versatile profile, your own identity and your fight towards reaching the above average. This country has taught a many and for me, it was a new beginning here. I realized that there are so many things to learn and truly it has no end. Every day of life, every hour, you have something to think about. At the end, you become so involved (and at times creative) that your mind is never idle, far from being the devil's workshop :). Your energy and passion for everything increases and that is all that matters. Ultimately, you can restrict your life within boundary conditions and the limits can be set by your own will and your own mental/physical strength. Some prefer very narrow limits, while others prefer a wider band. If you say, whats the use of doing all this? Well, every little event in your life and every little action that you perform and partake makes you rich in terms of knowledge and wisdom. The richness, henceforth, gives you an immense level of satisfaction that is manifested in the broader emotional framework of happiness and joy.
You help an old man crossing the street (a small event in your everyday life) - gives you the satisfaction of doing something good and hence you feel happy. You learn ballet dancing and in the next three years, you perform a ritual and the immense satisfaction that you get will reveal itself in terms of those blissful moments, where you will contemplate and think about the times and the hours of hard work you put into learning the art of ballet (lot of sweat and hard hours did go in learning this). But now you know the art, you know the richness in it and you are satisfied. You are a great cook at the end of the day - think back - and you see that its all in the passion that you put into the art of cooking. So, at the end, it boils down to our own individual profile and how we learn in the course of time, to harness the eternal sink of energy within ourselves. I can go on and on with this. Pardon me if I write gibberish :), but yeah I thought I will just pen down a few words as an appreciation of your thoughts...
Keep writing ..ciao ~ sangy

amit said...

Very interesting post Aparna. I was reading a book under the Happionaire series and this reminded me of it.

Anonymous said...

'The hero of every day mundane life is the ultimate hero.'

Very inspiring words!!

Anonymous said...

opps ...last comment was mine.

-sunny

Sam said...

thoughtful!!

Viraaj Shah said...

Very well written.