Joie de vivre

I have this strange superstition to wake up in the morning and look into the mirror.It is not vanity,it is a belief that if I wake up seeing myself..during the course of day I will be responsible for my own actions.

I have not been perfect..nobody can..I have erred,I have learnt.

I have been in pain...
cried without reason..laughed at my own follies
But at the end of everything I have been glad and grateful to be alive...
it is just like the protagonist of a computer game named "Captain Claw"-I used to dig as a kid.
"There's got to be a way out!!!!"

And I have always tried to look for that way.
There have been times when I found my convictions fail me...my beliefs turned to fallacy..
Disillusionment is no joy..it hurts.It hurts a lot

But then again this (almost eerie) love for life...
My desire to keep dreaming..be true to them...

When asked.."Something U can't live without"..
I reply.."My faith in me"
I wonder if I am an Idealist who lives in a world that "ought to be" and not that"is" .


But then who cares...as long as I live I am going to try to be happy
I will sit and sulk..for a while maybe ..n then I will get back to work all right
Anyways I will always have the mirror to talk to...look into the eyes and say"See-it was ur fault.If u were foolish enough to commit it...be brave enough to confront and rectify it"

AAH! Life is still beautiful..
(refer to my previous blog with the title"Life is beautiful"June 2005)
I can still smell the flowers,hear the birds sing,feel the breeze blow...smile on seeing the cute puppy wag its tail...
the colours of the butterfly still bring delight.
Newly blossomed flowers and clouds making patterns in the sky..and birds flying in a V..

Oh it's wonderful world..and I am so blessed to be a part of it!!