Emotional Hara-kiri

First, a little rambling about my own life. I had my mid-semester last week and that kept me fairly busy. We have our Spring break this week, but I have continued to update my task-list. Reading WSJ everyday tops the lineup, as usual. There are several other things I need to take care of, but let me spare you the pain of having to delve into the many woes and ecstasies of a Graduate student, and share with you the sense of déjà vu I experienced as a passive observer.

Last Sunday, I had dozed off in the afternoon still holding my Economics textbook in my hand, when I woke up suddenly with my room mate's cell phone's incessant ringing. She picked up and said "Hell...o" drowsily. Apparently, she too had fallen asleep while studying for the exams.

I knew instinctively who had called and what it was all about. It was a friend of hers I had met some days ago. Mentioning the names or describing the situation is superfluous here and it should more than suffice to say that she had a break up recently.

Heart-aches. How many of us are really fortunate or wise enough not to let those happen to us? And how many of us can really own up to the fact that we had said "forever" a little too soon? For most people, it is easier to admit that they are in a wrong job than it is to admit that they are in a wrong relation. Why do we shy away from the fact that we have been mistaken?

In Economics, there is a term 'sunken cost' - a cost that has already been paid and cannot be recovered; the failure to ignore which causes people to make irrational decisions. Is it then the sunken cost, the time and emotion we have invested in a certain relation, that manacles us from letting go? Even when we know it is time to?

I am not advocating aggressive egocentrism where you tend to believe that you are the center of the universe and the sun goes around to please your senses and bow to your existence. But I think it is important to have a nominal sense of dignity. You should know when the other person is treating you like a piece of shit (Excuse my French) and have the courage to admit it to yourself.

On occasions such as these, thinking is a waste of time. Excessive contemplation does nothing to protect your self-esteem. On the contrary, it spirals you down to the dungeons of depression. You can't always know why the other person is behaving so strangely. (lack of more socially acceptable word) You might, at the most, ask for a rational explanation. If he or she is verbally challenged and has an emotional quotient in negative integers, then he/she might not oblige. But then why should you care for someone who doesn't give a twopence worth damn to your feelings?

I agree that it is very difficult to let go. And more often than not, it is owing to the silly superstition that you secretly nurture: you will never find someone better/ bigger/richer.. whatever. Nonsense! Nothing is sillier than having self-imposed limitations. Not only your deserve a better companion but you deserve a better 'you' too. Why exist as an emotional wreck? Why live to die every day?

It's time to rediscover yourself after a break-up. More so, if the fault lies in you. Life is too short for happiness and love. No point wasting it being sad about the indifference served to you by someone. And now, I will say the much clichéd one-liner: What you seek might be just around the corner. Just give yourself a chance to live a better life. Stop the emotional hara-kiri. Trust me, life gives you what you want from it.



The Broken Heart Syndrome is a real clinical condition, also known as stress cardiomyopathy, stress-induced cardiomyopathy or apical ballooning syndrome.

First described by Japanese doctors in 1991, the condition was originally called takotsubo cardiomyopathy. Takotsubo is a type of pot used by Japanese fishermen to capture octopuses. When doctors take images of a person who’s experiencing broken heart syndrome, part of his or her heart resembles the pot, and hence the name.

There is a sudden temporary weakening of the myocardium (the muscle of the heart). Because this weakening can be triggered by emotional stress, such as the death of a loved one, the condition is also known as broken heart syndrome.