The Weird Barbie

Last evening, I watched the Barbie movie with a few friends. I was expecting it to be a pure comedy, but the themes were, surprisingly,  gender equality and patriarchy. And some hard-hitting truths.

*** Spoilers ahead***

It is naive when the Barbies in the Barbieland think that by creating several templates of professionally successful women like doctors, astronauts, Novel laureates, and Presidents, the brand "Barbie" has managed to inspire women to reach out for their dreams. Unfortunately, a Barbie is considered a symbol of bimboism. In the real world, the stereotypical Barbie would be a super fake-looking woman with fake boobs and a push-up bra, thick layers of pink make-up, hair dyed in some horrendous colors, and someone never seen without high heels. So much so that her feet can not rest flat on the ground.

You would also conclude that someone as obsessed with their looks and keeping up with fashion trends would have minimal intellect. Someone who can't talk about anything other than themselves. Who needs things to be explained to them, spelled forward and backward, to get them to understand what is happening. Someone incapable of feelings, thoughts, or even reflecting on existential questions like - what is the meaning of life or death.

Wrong.

Barbie is not about making us feel bad about being unavailable to achieve unrealistic beauty standards but also about giving us a dream and chasing it. If Barbie didn't exist, women would find something else to compare ourselves to because we like to suffer. And people take advantage of that insecurity and petty jealousies and make us clash while they can keep doing what is essential. Grow ourselves in every possible way.

When talented women fight for the attention of mediocre men. When the competition is not about who can deliver the most value but who can grab the most attention, we lose. The "sisterhood" loses.

There is a running joke about Mattel churning out friends of Barbie every year, "If Barbie is so popular, then why do you have to buy her friends? " My business mind says that it is an exercise in getting a customized doll for every child. As a kindergartener, I identified myself more as Skipper, the lesser-known sister of a more successful sibling. Having a more mathematically gifted sibling did that for me. Someone like Mackenzie Keene, the younger sister of Katy Keene in the limited 2000s series that appeared in Archie's Comics. 

But now, the world is a little more my own, and I know that even Skipper has a purpose. Not only to complement Barbie, she can grow up to be her own person. Even if not brilliant, she can succeed in her chosen field if she applies herself. In fact, with time, she can do better than her more gifted family members by sheer grit. And a bit of luck.

She doesn't even have to feel bad if she has exceeded her expectations about her place in the world, not in someone else's shadow, but as a shining example herself.

Boss by day, Barbie by night

Created using Barbie Selfie generator

The Weird Barbie

Though there were different references to pop culture and several guffawable (I made up this word right now) moments, one character really stood out for me - Weird Barbie. She embodies the persona of an outsider whose unique qualities are not entirely embraced by the other inhabitants of Barbieland.

She is the doll we played with too hard. Everyone had one of those- the one we shampooed the hair of, and it turned frizzy. Then we decided to give it a haircut but found out that we cut it too short, and now we can not tie it to hide the irregularity of the hairline. The one someone painted the eyes on, or you decided to add eyeshadow with your favorite glitter pen. The outcome was a grotesque-looking doll that made Annabelle look positively angelic. 

Apparently, the "Weird Barbie" character was inspired by the YA sci-fi novel "The Giver," where the main character is the only one with memories and emotions in a society where everyone else is the same.

The world is full of those weird Barbies who speak the truth, but in a language nobody understands. Whose weirdness or quirkiness gets in the way of communicating their sanity. Or at least, clarity of thought, The village madman is pronounced a prophet when everything has burned down.

Even I sometimes feel like the "weird" one when I shout my premonition from the top of the roof, which is nothing but a pattern observed from historical events. Yet, people decide I am raining on their parade. Then they come back to apologize, eventually. But we need these witches, these weirdos, these soothsayers. What is in a label? 

The Monologue 
One particular monologue by America Ferrera as Gloria in 'Barbie' stood out for me; even if it smells of vacuous victimhood at first, there is some truth to it.

It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful and so smart, and it kills me that you don’t think you’re good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we’re always doing it wrong.

You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can’t ask for money because that’s crass. You have to be a boss, but you can’t be mean. You have to lead, but you can’t squash other people’s ideas. You’re supposed to love being a mother, but don’t talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman, but also always be looking out for other people. You have to answer for men’s bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you’re accused of complaining.

You’re supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you’re supposed to be a part of the sisterhood. But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful. You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It’s too hard! It’s too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.

I’m just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don’t even know.

It is hard being a woman in a man's world already. Don't make it harder by implying to each other that we are not enough. Men can be our allies too. But when have you seen the powerful sharing their power deliberately? Very few understand the balance required for the world to function. Women are walking out of their stereotypical roles, and more and more men support women to earn, chase their dreams,  and be the best version of themselves, even when it is inconvenient. Even when they have to participate in domestic chores, child-raising duties, or other roles that have been traditionally gender-stereotyped. Such limitations hinder women and men from fully realizing their potential, pursuing their professional ambitions, and making autonomous choices that shape their lives. Who is to say that a man can't be a better nurturer than a woman? Or would a woman not add more value in a boardroom with her ideas?

Let people choose who they want to be and what roles they want to play in pursuing their happiness. 

The heart of the movie was in one *scene, though. When Stereotypical Barbie (Margot Robbie) meets an elderly woman at a bus stop, she says to her," You are beautiful !" And the elderly woman ( played by Ann Roth, an Oscar-winning costume designer) replies with conviction," I know!" with a slaying expression. 

Age can't wither your beauty or diminish it. You just have to embrace the changes in your body as you gain experience. We are all filled with anxiety about aging and death. We want to stay young forever and inject toxins so our muscles will freeze and will give us a more youthful appearance. But Death (or aging) is nothing to be feared. There is beauty in every phase of life. I may not have the supple skin or thick hair I had in my twenties. But I have the confidence of a woman who has earned a few accolades with determination. I will be 40 soon, but this doesn't scare me.

I am looking forward to it.  And all the adventures life will bring to me. 

(*This scene was almost. cut from the movie, read here why.)