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Wednesday, May 21, 2025

The Eligible Bachelor

There once was a man past his prime,

Who thought therapy’s just a scam, a crime.

With podcasts galore,

He preached, “I want more,”

But ghosted each girlfriend before dinnertime.


He claimed that he felt very deep,

Yet his chats were as woke as sleep. 💤

A “guru” in his jeans,

To girls in their teens,

His wisdom? Just red flags on repeat.


He’d sip from his weird-looking brew,

Say, “Commitment? I’ve paid all my dues.”

Though his age neared forty,

He dated only the sporty—

Fresh grads with no bills and no clues.


“I’m old-school,” he’d proudly declare,

While brushing his graying chest hair.

Yet somehow forgot,

While dodging the growth he sought—

That’s why grown women just wouldn’t care.

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