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Thursday, December 01, 2005

L'amour fait Le Monde tourner

We all are seemingly self-sufficient..but we all need an emotional anchor.
Amidst all those major crushes,short flings and torrid affairs...we are seeking only one element-Happinesss.

But we are so unsure of our priorities that we end up,most of the times,looking in the wrong places...
It's like chasing the end of a rainbow to find where a treasure is buried...

My take on human relations is something of the philosophy that is reflected in one of my fav. poems-"Porosh pathor" (meaning-The Philosopher's stone) by Tagore

It's the story of a man who gives up wordly pleasure and turns into a sage in the quest of the mythed Philospher's stone which has the Alchemical properties to turn anything into gold....

The man(in the poem) after years of search comes to know that the stone is lying by a sea-shore...he spends another few years of his life testing each stone...touching it with a piece of metal he has in his hand...to see if it can turn it to gold...
Each time it fails he throws the stone away- detested... picks again..tries another...throws it away

It is a long stretch of shore...and there are plenty of pebbles and stones
Years pass in a blurr...he grows a longer beard...his clothes become more ragged..his eyes almost visionless...all his mental faculties engaged in a pursuit which seems endless.

One day while he is mechanically testing the stones that lay in the path stretched ahead...a child playing by the shore says..."Baba,what is it shining in ur hand?"

He looks back and to his exhilaration finds the piece of iron he was clutching in his hand has turned to gold!!
He tests it with the stone he was holding then ...to back test it...but it shows no response...then he picks another he had abandoned before...and another he had thrown away...all prove to be duds..

Then suddenly a piercing realisation dawns on him...in his craze and disappointment with the previous rocks..he had cast away the real thing ... never realising it had the power to transform

And somewhere on the path that lay behind him,there rested what he had valued more than anything in this world...

But he was not to give up...
He turned back to revisit the path he had treaded...to find again...what he had found and ....lost...

The poem ends with those haunting lines

"Ordhek jibon khuji Kon khone chokhhu bujhii
Sporsho lobhechhilo jar ek pol bhor

Baaki ordho bhogno praan Abaar koreche daan
Phiriya khujite sei Porosh pathor
"

Something which very grossly put means-(Sorry Tagore-for my ' lacking in art..but passionate in essence ' translation)

Having searched the half of his life In a moment of closed perceptions(sight)

The touch of which he had felt just for an instance

The remaining half of his now broken existence ,He has dedicated
To turn to look again for that philosopher's stone...

24 comments:

Saurabh said...

HI lara i think that's the way we humnas are...everybody wants to be happy but nobody knows how...
we think that being with somebody will make us happy (by sharing our feelings,emotions giving us a shoulder to cry) but its always the other way round, we are more hurt and more angry with life with each broken relationship but we can never stop making relationships....
i dont understand y do we need "emotionla Anchors"? why cant we be rational enuf and try to understand ourself,our needs,our likings....if u urself cant understand what u want how can somebody else do it for u??
And believe me its not tough to be tough.....

Aparna Kar said...

Have u ever wondered when u looked around on an autumn evening...the leaves with a golden hue make u wish there were someone to share it with u?
If u have ...probably u know why...

I agree it's not tough to be tough...
But sometimes u just wish...

Aparna Kar said...

And anyways my fovcus ofa ttention is not WHY we feel we need a relation...but about being in a relation with the right person..

Being single is definately better than being in a relation just for the heck of it...but that's a different story altogether...and a blog is hardly a place to discuss it..will talk about it later..

BTW thanks..it was while talking to u the other day .I came up with this idea...wanted to write something like this for a long time now..

jasjiv said...

hi, i also think that ppl want to be in a relationship but still want the freedom of being single. they want to do whatever they used to do while being single. according to me, we need to lose some to gain some, only then we'd be able to truly appreciate the relationship.

Saurabh said...

hmmm thats correct..there are occassions that we wish if someone was there.....
my moment is watching the reflection of the moon sitting on the beach.....just the moonlit beach and a good company...

Aparna Kar said...

@Jasjiv...
Not always...u stray in a relation only when there's something terribly wrong...
An apparently perfect relation might have loopholes which u or me are completely unaware of...

And anyways...it requires some effort from the other person as well to make u feel wanted...
U "act" like u r single only when u "feel" u r...

Isn't it?

Aparna Kar said...

@Saurabh

See! There u r!

If we can say "I am hungry" or "I am sleepy"

Why can we say..."I could do with some more love"?

Saket said...

Hi Aparna!

My first visit to your blog. Excellent post. Keep blogging!

Saket

Saurabh said...

we cant say i depend on u or i need u cos there is one BIG EGO...which we cant let go...we can compromise it with evrybody except the one we love,...

Aparna Kar said...

@Saket
Thanks:)
Keep posting ur comments..
They are valueable...

Aparna Kar said...

@Saurabh
Hmmm..difficult..isn't it?
We don't know what we actually want until we have lost it...
And the search continues...even if u think...somewhere ...while groping blindly..we might have chanced upon the real thing..

Probably coz we are always looking for the perfect person..
not an imperfect person whom we can love perfectly..
Now Before things become too mushy..I 'll stop here...
C Ya...
keep posting

Saurabh said...

dont know yar...its all too complicated chemistry...this love....i doubt even if such a thing exists....its alll too much hyped and talked off but nobody knows what it actually is....
at least i couldn't make it out....
i personally feel that its all for the satisfaction of our emotional ego..
if ppl dont have a lover(?) we start finding faults in their own self...god knows whats all this crap...
but i have rarely seen ppl happy in love....in the beginning its all a beautiful dream but soon u strike hard on the ground of reality and feel that now u have woken up n the dream is over....i say 6 months or 1 year is the max time ppl r happy together n then.....loads of expectations,fights...accusations..then the daily battles where each one becomes the judge and decides on who's wrong....the beauty is that both dont want to understand the actual matter..just want to prove the other one wrong.....

Aparna Kar said...

@Saurabh

I don't agree.6 months might be the Honeymoon time for any relation but the more time u spend together,the more it matures..the foundation gets stronger..
anyways..no one is perfect..n u knew it in the beginning

I have seen my parents...been married for 27 years..courted 3 yrs b4 that..n they are still very much in love with each other..

Rather more than the time they saw each other for the first time...What would u say to that?

Saurabh said...

you are talking of the time which is Quarter of an century ago....all those things are null and void today...
in those days there was commitment dedication...now these terms are obsolete...

Aparna Kar said...

@Saurabh

Honestly?
I don't think Love can be obsolete ever...

It's only a matter of realisation...

Just like I said before..if we stop looking for the perfect person..we might actually come across someone who is not so perfect..but whom we can love perfectly well

Abhi! said...

Hi,
Happened to chance upon your blog!
Personally, there are two types of relationships, one in which both the partners know that they are having fun/committed long term in which there are not many problems. Atleast, nothing of having someone as an "emotional anchor" because they have each other or they can just talk to any close friend (in case of having fun). The other kind is when one of them is serious and the other is having fun! This is where all problems arise.
Personally, I would remain single 'cos I feel that it gives one more freedom, not having to adjust schedules to coincide with your partner, not having to call someone ten times a day etc..

I don't know how much of what I said made sense but what I am trying to say is that an "emotional anchor" can be any person and not necessarily a girlfriend/boyfriend.

Saurabh said...

i said commitment and dedication r obsolete not love!!
if u ready to love an imperfect man perfectly then life becomes easy..:) no problem left....

Aparna Kar said...

@ Abhi
I never said it ahs to be a GF/BF too

Anybody can be an emotional anchor...n if u ask me..frns are beter at it

Aparna Kar said...

@ Saurabh....

Let's hope so...

Rony Ghosh said...

your first line says," but we all need an emotional anchor". do we ever stop to think, do we deserve one? is the ground good enuf to hold even the strongest anchor? is the ship better off in the ocean. if the anchor slips due to loose ground and fails to anchor the ship, no point looking for a better metal. but that's what people often do and the search for the philosopher's stone begins.

Aparna Kar said...

@Rony
U got me thinking...hmmmm

arun choudhary said...

hi appu...
i m just mesmerized by this post and aftermath@series of discussions...gr8 to be cognizant of a wonderful lady who even possess this sweet ability to define the realtionships too beautifully tht even shobha dey and freud wuld hav been forced to look the other way..if they get over their alter-egos...and robert burn wuld be more thn happy..he nearly found a companion....
still reading betwn the lines of gr8 tagore...so wuld be able to post significant reply only next time.......by then u keep ur peckers up....gud job done

Aparna Kar said...

@Arun
Thanks..:)
Needless to say..coming from YOU..
Someone who thinks I am extremely supercilious with my sole raison d'etre to accomplish a couple of mass homicidal missions..it came as a pleasant surprise...[:P]

Wud be looking forward to seeing more to ur registering ur presence in my little space here..
[:)]

And yes..don't forget to read between the lines..sometimes I dnt understand what I scribble..maybe U cud say...(I am serious)

Am Not Who U Think I Am said...

wow...supereb....its tough to find happiness...it just happens....sometimes we just miss the chances...sometimes..we