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Sunday, July 24, 2005

Love Actually...

Statutory warning

All characters in the following pieces are fictitious.
Any resemblance to any body living or dead(or half-dead)
is purely coincidental.

Story I

It was his birthday.
After a purfunctory lunch with their common friends , he took them to her favourite coffeehouse,ordered her favourite pastry,played her favourite song and knelt down beside her with a bunch of her favourite roses in oblation.

She knew it was coming & she was determined to get over with it as soon as she could or was possible.
But she could not..it was not possible.
It was his birthday after all!
She sat motionless on her chair while her hand hung limply with the flowers.

He knew the answer-but he still wanted to hear it..hoping against all hope that she might...

Her silent tears told it all..
Some things are not meant to be..
He put on his social mask and turned back to the jovial being he is..
only she could see through the pretense..she knew he was putting up an act.
She even believed that probably no one would ever love her the way he did.
During the years of togetherness-laughter without reason is what brought them close..
He would crack silly jokes or pass comments just to see her smile.
She would let go off all reason, her air of sobriety and giggle like a child.
She felt so alive at those times!

Maybe this was the selfish reason why she could not let go even when she knew it was coming.Even when she felt the tension in their relation increasing with his growing desire to possess the object of his affection.

That night he did not sleep.
Neither did she.


Story II

She could see him sleeping beside her in total submission.
He had a faint smile on his face which accentuated his handsome features.
His sculptured body gave the impression of a Greek God.
In spite of herself she had worshipped it many a times-subconsciously.

At first,it was a raw primal attraction that had brought them together.
An instant of explosion and two bodies intertwined as one...
Gradually they discovered the joys of companionship.

She remembered the times when he would prepare breakfast for her and feed her while she lazed about in the bed.
The soft music playing and their dancing together to the audience of celestial bodies under a starry night sky on the terrace...



She never expected more than what was.
She never thought what it ought to be.
Maybe she was too tired of waiting...

Then one day-he popped the question.
She smiled and kissed his forehead.
He thought it to be her assurance and went off to a peaceful slumber...
While she sat there beside him...
Watching him ..
Thinking...
Some things are just not meant to be...

13 comments:

Arsalan said...

Ok ... nobody's commenting ... so I will go ahead and blabber :)

But I am not even sure what you are talking about ... how possession adversely affects love ?

U know there is a lady on Orkut who sometimes asks for my advice (I don't know why me). She did not marry the man he loved because she felt that marriage will kill the love.

Now she is not too happy .. her husband is very nice though much older than her (these people are from Iran) ... and she feels like she should be back with her old boyfriend ... it's difficult now that she has a kid ... and the old boyfriend is not too sure about the lady's vacillating nature ...

Ok ... enuf blabbering :) .. reply ... we can discuss ...

Rainbow Warrior said...

this stuff is too heavy for me

Aparna Kar said...

@Samik
They say "Who cares for beauty that has been in house for more than 3 days?"

Familiarity doesn't necessarily breed contempt but once you are in possession of the object of your desire...u tend to forget the endeavours u had made to possess it..
Something which once what appeared impossible..when u get in reality..u don't understand the value..(most of the times)

And somehow the charm of the relation which gave both of u a high once- diminishes.. that change is very painful.
This mostly results in adultery...when u see a system of happiness collapsing..u try to find another..after all-everybody needs love to go on...

And if she/he looks for it somewhere else and most preferably an old flame...it's not her/his fault.

A couple married happily for 30/40 years doesn't have some extra terrestrial features or an antennae to recieve signals from the spouse to understand each other..all it requires is some sensitivity...

But in our present fast paced lives and a world of protean values..it is very difficult to see around us..and specially the person beside us.

Look at him/her today..she is the same person u once believed is the most beautiful thing that happened to u...
who made u feel complete..

who gave a new meaning to ur life...

Where is the charm today?

Why did u let it fade?

When was the last time u said u love her/him?

And even if u had made a compromise(claim that u married without love)
then why did the compromise seem better at that point of time...

what has been done can't be undone..
and now since ur well being is associated with the happiness of others..
She has a kid..what will he/she grow up to believe.

If the feeling is mutual-it is better to breap -up..but the consequences will be the worst for the blameless child.

No woman expects her better half to worship her(trust me on that)..until she/he is completely egomaniacal and expects to dominate always...


A healthy relation with a few arguements followed by patch ups is the best way to be..

We,women,have a strange way to show our affection.
We might truly care for a person,cook for him clean for him,raise his kids,submit the totality of our existence to that person and yet NOT love him.

You might find it strange..but it is the way it is...

As for that Lady...my humble advice is..forget the old flame..if he had been so perfect..u wouldn't have left him to marry a more mature(biologically at least)person

Try to remember why did u leave him in the first place ..one unkind word..one breach of trust..try to go back in time and introspect..there was something lacking in the relation that intimidated u..that made u cringe & refrain from making a legal commitment to him.

You will discover u had made a wise decision...

Arsalan said...

They say "Who cares for beauty that has been in house for more than 3 days?"

Agree ... unless you realize that everyone ... absolutely everyone is beautiful ... the beauty is in your ability to see more than them ...

Familiarity doesn't necessarily breed contempt but once you are in possession of the object of your desire...u tend to forget the endeavours u had made to possess it..

Absolutely agree ... I think the trick is to keep "chasing" and "not take things for granted" ... play a fantasy game of seducing each other throughout life.

Why did u let it fade?

Yes, the problem is with us - again "taking things for granted"

We,women,have a strange way to show our affection.
We might truly care for a person,cook for him clean for him,raise his kids,submit the totality of our existence to that person and yet NOT love him.

You might find it strange..but it is the way it is...


Would you care to explain more ? Can you analyze it or is it too much like some "emergent phenomenon" ...

As for that Lady...my humble advice is..forget the old flame..if he had been so perfect..u wouldn't have left him to marry a more mature(biologically at least)person

Try to remember why did u leave him in the first place ..one unkind word..one breach of trust..try to go back in time and introspect..there was something lacking in the relation that intimidated u..that made u cringe & refrain from making a legal commitment to him.

You will discover u had made a wise decision...


Will try to pass it on :) I would think a woman can advise a woman better than a man.

Aparna Kar said...

LOL..Ok.
Excuse my vehement speech.
Samik,u deserve to be flogged :)
for having brought up a topic of conversation so close to my heart.
Going back to my protagonist(s)
There can be 101 equally valid reasons why she thought it ought NOT to be.
u can contribute ur own analysis.
I'll be more than glad to have them...

#1 she is a commitmentphobic,probably a misogamist.
A psychiatric counselling may make her own up memories of childhood when she witnessed an unhappy,constanly bickering (n in
all possibilities altercation followed by domestic violence) couple or a broken marriage.
That might have influenced her judgement and made her believe..marriage kills love...

#2 she is intuitive
and she doesn't know what she knows subconsciously.
Maybe a moment of anger,maybe his sudden outburst on a rare occasion,the dropping of his polished ,civilised mask to show the real beast he is..
That scared her when she thought-if he doesn't take care now,what guarantee is it he'll take care to maintain composure after he has signed a mere document?

#3She is tired of waiting
note the rhetorical statment when she is pondering over things
"She never expected...'
while in truth..she ALWAYS expected and when she didn't get it when she was ready for it...she's finding it difficult to accept it when she is not

#4She is an Idealist
Who believes in WHAT IT OUGHT TO BE than WHAT IT IS..
Probably she is in love with a person who doesn't even exist in reality.Imposing characters on him which she deems as virtues.
she is still waiting for her man of dreams and doesn't know when her wait will be over...

Aparna Kar said...

BTW the 4th reason could be the initial stages of schizophrenia or the beginning long lonely years...

Arsalan said...

Ok.

I thought the first guy was ditched because she does not want to possess the one she loves.

And the second guy ... she is unsatisfied now because she realizes it was never about possession .. that was a lack of understanding that made her ditch the first guy .... and once ditched she couldn't build it up again ... and when the second guy approached she was wise enough to say yes (your concept - the strange way to show affection) ... but the wistful feelings for the first one true love remains ..

Totally tangential I went to you, I guess ... same words, diametrically opposite meanings made ... :)

Aparna Kar said...

As a matter of fact..she did NOT accept the second guy either..she just kissed him..will talk about "womanly affection" later...

Ram said...

@ story 1: heart-breaking!
women! :-/

Aparna Kar said...

@Ram
Hmmm prima facie it is...
But it is better this way..if she thinks he is not the one..she has a right to reject..isn't it?
No point being too fantastic about love...

Aparna Kar said...

@Ram
Btw..haven't u heard the song....
"You ask me if I love u..and I choke on my reply...
I'd rather hurt u honestly than misllead u with a lie"

Maybe she did..

AakASH!!! said...

SUPERB.. i am reading from the latest to the oldest posts, and so you may find a lot of repetition, but then there are so few adjectives!

sam said...

nice stories!! and now i understand what u meant by qouting u!! :P