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Sunday, April 22, 2007

Together Forever?

Some things in life can't be replaced, fortunately- some things need not be...

I met a old friend of mine online today. I had logged into Orkut for some reason and saw her name on the list of people who were online on Gtalk. Now, I had refrained from linking my orkut account with Google Talk for several reasons. I don't want random people to know when I am online on Gtalk for one . And I script really weird status messages which the world need not decipher.
But adding her on my list was too good a bait.
So when I sent her an invite and she pinged I was more than happy. But she had her grudges. Why didn't I contact her for so long? Where had I been all these days?
I told her I had lost my phone and her contact number. My yahoo account which had her contact details was hacked. And I had been busy with my job, my GMAT and my book...
But she wouldn't listen. She said that "You know how much you mean to me. You were the closest friend I ever had. The best days of my life I have spent are with you. I'm talking to you after so long time and I'm crying like anything. I' m sitting in the computer lab and everyone is watching me. "

"Purely professional" and "artificial" were some of the milder terms she used to reproach me.

Now, my best friend from school - Raikishori Ganguly and I hardly get to talk to each other for months but when we meet it's like old times everytime. Ditto Samayita Chowdhuri whom I call Sam. I haven't seen her for years now but if there's something happening in my life worth knowing, she'll be one of the first ones to know.
And Saiki - how can I forget the kick-boxing fits I have when we go out for a movie or to the shopping mall :) But we seldom meet!

Why do we need to prove ourselves to the people we love?
I must not be saying this since I'm the kind of person who needs to be told "I love you" every day. It's like short-term memory loss.

But this incident really taught me something. Maybe we need to give space to others too. Some of whom are mature enough to handle our demands but maybe not really happy about it .

Found a lost friend today.. and lost again.. I guess.


passer by said...

interesting..apropos ur title i'm reminded of the simple lines from an old song

utna hee upkaar smajah jo jitna saath nibhade,
janm maran ka mel hai sapna , yeh sa[na bikrade,
koi na sang mare

Aparna Kar said...

Mann re tu kaahe na dheer dhare
Woh nirmohi moh na jaane jinka moh kare
... ?
Now, who's the nirmohi here?

It's just that priorities change. And someone who really loves you and trusts you ought to understand that!

Garam Bheja Fry said...

...And life moves on. just keep smiling all the way and give enuf reasons for people to smile..:P

thats why i blog!! :)

pc said...

Take light!
When did you start taking life so seriously? It's not the Appu I know !

saikat said...

@ appu: u tried ur best to get the relationship with ur frnd back on the be happy for that..u have done ur bit...

life main mast rehne ka..mast jeene ka :) ... aur yeah kick boxing karte rehne ka :D


Saurabh said...

so many people know u .... so many people r ur friends...
so many people crib if they cant talk to u... but people who matter.. who know u inside out , who know that u do care..and it does not need to be shown by a call or a buzz every day... are the one's we call true friends.
I have only 2 friends like that... i used to call us the tripod.. or the 3 investigators .. all grown up now..and working in different streams of professional life.. but to each other we will still be the fatso, muscles and the brain

Saurabh said...

Space, Professionalism, Commitment are nothing but overhyped words which just take you away from reality. The Reality is You and the world around you which is formed purely by your gestures and thoughts.
You have the power to change it any day. Yes sometimes we can be demanding with others but then... that will only be 1 or 2 selected people. not every one..
As for someone saying its been so long.... they have not spoken to you .. well maybe they really miss you, maybe you have been too quick to pass a judgement... you dont know the otherside of the story. Just cos' u dont shed a tear if you meet someone after a long time does not mean that the person who does for u is over enthusiastic. So many people are loud.. and open in their feelings.. if you feel that you are let down by that or that is a turn off well then its your life as i said before... u make the rules and ur the only one who breaks them " No Strings Attached" !!!

Aparna Kar said...

Yeah man! Life mein serious hoy-ing to life dofa-rofa hoy-ing . Chill marne ka aur bindaas rehne ka..
Loving without expectation is tough but we can always have an approach-ing value :D

Btw, tune us din Eragon dekhne jaane k time popcorn wale ki shakal dekhi thi jab main tere jabre pe laath marr rahi thi.. usne darr k maare jyada butter topping de diya tha! :))

Aparna Kar said...

Thanks for showing me the other end of the spectrum, but honestly I was not passing any judgment here.
In fact your were making assumptions when you said : Just cos' u dont shed a tear if you meet someone...

When I saw my mother after almost an year in Delhi airport, I was crying like a baby- and so did I when she was about to leave after her visit. A similar outburst happened when someone really close to me had to bid me goodbye- but he never knew it because I did not cry in his presence.

But such occasions are for my SET A people. ( Refer to Child's Play )

I can't end up being emotionally involved with just anyone and everyone. And as you put it- "we can be demanding with others but then... that will only be 1 or 2 selected people."

My friend was an important part of my graduation life, and will always remain so- but her inability to comprehend my predicament has only hurt me.

And about "No Strings Attached" philosophy- nothing can be better than this.
A wise old saying in Bangla advises to live like a drop of water on an arum leaf ( Kochu patar opor jol er moto)- unattached. Now, that's something really difficult to achieve coz we tend to expect things from those who are dear to us.

I am not taking undue credit for anything but there's not a single person in this world for whom I can dramatically declare- "Main tumhare bina marr jayungi Prannath!" (I'll die without you darling ). I think I am past that mental age and level of immaturity.
But yes- there are a few precious people who I'd be more than happy to have in my life- and would love to grow old with.
Now does that make sense to you?

Saurabh said...

:) well said

arun said...

First of all i think "Good Bye" is too much for me to take...I prefer "Meet you soon" over this "good bye"...and i too hav used "good bye" but tht was the final adieu...may be in your case its jus a outburst of affection wht ur friend hav on u...u hav been not in touch with her for so long and all of a sudden its jus scrap...may be this is the way she want to express her closeness to happens...sometime people tell me "the more we are possessive abt someone and more close to them...the probability are more that we fight with them the more"...i am not quiet sure..i leave it to u to judge...and atleast i see one diff in this kinda situation, among boys relation's...i had been in college i too have grt friends...may be some are tht close during my college days...but in the final year i hope we are whole bunch who dint even had a slam book and never filled for anyone..bcos we thought..."come on is too small for good people and we will keep meeting in either corner of the world"...(and as per the above said now almost all in each continent and still we keep meeting))and i never thought tht writing abt someone on the slam book gives tht grt feel rather than without any writing, still remembering those sweet old days gives much more better feel...atleast for me my friends are jus a call away...though for few i am not a frequent caller...atleast i have few people whom i get in touch even for day to day basis...bcos i understand they are tht kinda emotional people...may be i can rgt away stop calling or do it other way...but i know well tht hurts them...since i created a kinda centimental dependency i take care to full fill as long as i can...may be ur friend is also of tht kind...on ther other hand i have few friends..whom even if i call after 3 3 seconds we will be on same old rappo...these kinda people are bit matured i shld the saying goes.."dont explain...ur friend does'nt need it..either way ur enemy is not going to listen"...but there are few emotionally attached people like ur friend who need constant rappo and may be sometime a explanation for ur action..its does'nt mean their friendship is undermined..but rather wht i shld say "thts her a friend u shld accept for wht she is"...someone has to adjust someway...even if it is u who has to adjust always, better dont take it as an ego...u r doing it for ur the end after all "Relations are to make...not to break"...hope ur friend will get back again..if no hope u will!


Aparna Kar said...

@garam bheja fry
Yeah.. life moves on.. coz it has to.. and stagnancy means death.. As they say- no point taking life too seriously, you won't come out of it alive anyways
I loved your post on Sallu n Viviek's reaction to Abhi-Aish's marriage :D
Hilarious. You are blogrolled

Anonymous said...

btw, mujhe orkut se yad aaya..

Kya Mujhe Pyar Hain - Remix Version

kyun aajkal homework kam orkut zyada hai
lagta fail hone ka pura-pura iraada hain
kal tha topper aaj 40 bhi zyada hain
lagta fail hone ka pura-pura iraada hain
kya mujhe pyar hain aah
orkut se pyar hain aah

kya mujhe pyar hain aah
orkut se pyar hain aah
oh ohooooooooo...

Engineering ki in classes mey,
boring si ek teacher hai
jabse mila hai orkut, badla har ek manzar hain
dekho jahaan mein neeli neeli iss screen tale
dost naye naye hain jaise milte hue
tu mere khwaabon mein, jawaabon mein, sawaalon mein
har din chura tumhen main laata hoon khayalon mein
kya mujhe pyar hain aah
orkut se pyar hain aah
kya mujhe pyar hain aah
orkut se pyar hain aah
oh ohooooooooo...