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Monday, December 17, 2018

New Orleans: The cradle of Jazz

(A year ago, we were in New Orleans. Posting what I had submitted to a publication about the trip)

Some say that Jazz was born in 1895 when Charles ‘Buddy’ Bolden started his first band and played an improvised version of rag-time music or ‘jass.’ Others say that modern Jazz was born in 1917 when the Original Dixieland Jazz Band recorded their first Jazz record, ‘Livery Stable Blues.’ The music genre peaked in its popularity in the 1920s when it reached Britain, France and elsewhere around the world. Hence, the Roaring Twenties are also referred to as the Jazz Age.



The Original Dixieland Jazz Band

When we reached New Orleans (often referred to as NOLA), we had two agenda in mind: eat Creole food and listen to traditional New Orleans Jazz. After we tasted some delectable charbroiled-oysters, seafood gumbo, redfish in lemon butter, and beignet bread pudding in a local restaurant, we headed towards Preservation Hall in French Quarter. Also known as the Vieux Carré, French Quarter is the oldest section of the city of NOLA, and famous for its restaurants and live-music venues. There are walking parades through the French Quarter during the famous Mardi Gras or ‘Fat Tuesday,’ carnival that happens on the first day of Lent each year (in February).



We watched the American Jazz trumpeter Wendell Brunious and his band play in a very intimate setting. No photographs or recording was allowed during the show and for a good reason. You can truly feel the power of music when you close your eyes and are transported to a different time. Jazz became a symbol of equality during the Civil Rights Movement in America. Music lovers could enjoy the art form irrespective of their skin tone. Jazz musicians took it upon themselves to promote social justice through their creations.

The famous lyrics by Louis Armstrong come to mind (Black and Blue):
My only sin is in my skin
What did I do to be so black and blue?


Louisiana Wetlands




We booked a Honey Island Swamp tour via Cajun Encounters where we rode a flat-bottomed boat through the swamps. The tour began near Slidell, about 50 mins drive from the city. The swamp alligators usually hibernate from October to March and are difficult to spot under the duckweed, but we saw plenty of birds including great blue herons and swallows, wild boars, raccoons, apple snails, and a rodent called nutria. The bald-cypress, Louisiana’s state tree, that grows in the swamps are related to the California Redwood trees and can grow to 140 feet and be over 1000 years old. The trees produce a vertical growth from the roots for respiration and stability and are called ‘tree knees.’

We saw a lot of floating houses on the swamp that is accessible only with boats. Fishermen often live on the floating houses and fish or set traps for crawfish and crabs. Our guide who did shrimp fishing for a living said that commercial fishing has become less profitable and most of the people living in the swamps were switching to other professions.

Some houses flattened by Hurricane Katrina in 2005 were a testament to the cruelties of Mother Nature. On our way back we saw the Mercedes-Benz Superdome light up in a hallucinogenic display.  The locals probably have bittersweet memories of the stadium when it served as a shelter for 10,000 people during the hurricane.


Crab cages

World War II Museum



Located in the Central Business District of New Orleans on Magazine Street is a military history museum that boasts of one of the most authentic experiences of the World War II. War veterans can visit for free using their military-issued dog tags, and I saw a lot of WWII veterans meeting up in the museum. Some were too old to walk and in wheelchairs. Some probably dead a long time now. My personal view on wars is simple: the human cost of a war far outweighs its benefits. Every single time.

The entire museum has five buildings, but I managed to view only ‘The Road to Berlin’ and ‘The Road to Tokyo’ exhibits in Building 3 in two hours. The artifacts and videos moved me to tears and reminded us why we must remember history. Both the Allies and the Axis powers made strategic moves and mistakes. I read about some forgotten heroes who put the lives of their others before their own. For example, Archer Gammon who stormed a German machine gun nest with grenades and forced a tank to retreat until it fired an 88mm shell that killed him. Whichever side you are one on, you can’t help but wonder what makes ordinary men and women like Gammon rise to occasions like these with immense courage and belief? What makes a man wake up one day and say to himself, ’I got this!’ amid all the terrors of war?

Garden District

The Garden District with its huge mansions, t manicured lawns, and oak canopied streets is a world apart from most of Louisiana. It is famous for housing rich and famous celebrities and for ghost stories.

We started our self-guided tour from the famed 19th century Lafayette Cemetery No. 1, which has 496 wall vaults, built above ground because the city is on a swamp. The cemetery with its unique style is often called the City of the Dead and has been filmed in numerous television shows and movies.

We drove around the neighborhood and ended our day with a walk inside the Audubon Zoo. You can also take an old-fashioned streetcar trip around the city starting in Canal Street for $1.25, walk through Bourbon Street and Frenchmen Street, grab a bite at Café Beignet or Café du Monde, or take a steamboat ride on the Mississippi River.


The only truly dead are those who have been forgotten.

Tuesday, November 13, 2018

My first ring

Every ring has a story.
SG proposed to me on Dec 9, 2006, with this ring from Kay. It cost just $100 back then and was a little loose for my ring finger because he didn’t know my finger size. The sentimental value of this thing is immense. Was talking about it to my friends recently and thought of wearing it for a few days to remember the flutter of heart I felt every time I thought that I was betrothed.



Tuesday, November 06, 2018

I am Kali

I was born of the rage of my mother:
To devour the demons that she fought.

I wore their heads in a necklace
To remind the wrongdoers that no evil deed goes unpunished.

I wage wars against the darkness
Even though my skin is dark.

Blood drips from my lips and the scyther I hold,
My lolling red tongue is the cause of nightmares.

But remember-
I was born because all was not right with the world.
Or else my pacifist sisters would have sufficed.

I was born because there were injustice, hatred, and pillage.
And as long as I see those happening
Another earthly girl will take my form
And bring down her fury upon the world.

If you want a lotus instead of a scyther,
Treat her well.
Your mother, wife, daughter, sister-
She can be Annapurna or Kali.

Sunday, November 04, 2018

A book of scars - 1

Freewriting about pain and betrayal

Don’t make me say it out loud
Because I know
You won’t hear it through the noise.

Read my lips, hear my heartbeat
Across a room full of strangers.
Does it sound familiar?
Do you remember the promises you made?

A mind is a tricky place.
You remember the things you want to.
And conveniently forget the rest.

But I remember-
Every lie you have ever told me.
Every lie I ever believed in
With every inch of my body.

Like a python coils
And squeezes its prey to death,
You drove the life out of me.

How do you live devoid of faith?
Stripped of the ability
To ever trust another human being?

People call me heartbroken
But my friends know better-
There was nothing left to be broken.

Inch by inch,
It decayed beneath my ribs-
One lie at a time.

Sunday, October 21, 2018

ফিরে পাওয়া

কখনো মনে হয় ফেলে আসা দিনগুলো ছিল সোনায় মোড়া?
এক টুকরো গোধূলির সূর্যে রাঙা আকাশটা ছিল আমাদের সবচেয়ে বড় প্রাপ্তি। 
তাও আমরা সন্তুষ্ট ছিলাম ‘এটাই স্বর্গ!’ ভেবে । 

ব্যাংকে রাখা মূলধন সুখের হিসেব দেয় কি?
সবকিছু থেকেও যেন কোথাও একটা অতৃপ্তি-
দুজনের প্রতি দুজনের অনেক নিঃশব্দ অভিযোগ । 

চলো না আজ ফিরে যাই সেই ফেলে আসা গোধূলির মুহূর্তে, 
তেমনি রাঙ্গুক না আকাশ আজ তোমার চুম্বনে । 

Sunday, September 30, 2018

The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro

The Remains of the DayThe Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

''The evening is the best part of the day.'

It was a very well-written book and though I don't agree with the definition of 'dignity' by the protagonist, Stevens, I respect him for the sacrifices he had to make to render his services to his employer, even on the occasion of his father's imminent death. His ideology stopped him from living a different, maybe even more fulfilling life. However, he seems to be representative of the English butler who kept the wheels of many important households running, while himself being invisible behind the scenes.

My bantering skills are at par with Stevens's, so I do understand his struggle to converse light-heartedly. Now, I can't wait to see the movie starring Anthony Hopkins and Emma Thompson that was nominated for eight Academy Awards. I had to wait until I finished reading the book to see how a successful screenplay is adapted. Also, the story arc of Mr. Carson in Downton Abbey was remarkably similar to Stevens. Probably heavily 'inspired' by the book.


View all my reviews

Tuesday, September 25, 2018

Pushing yourself: Is it really worth it?

We often find ourselves wondering when things get uncomfortable - is it really worth it? However, nothing of value can be achieved if we don't feel the heat- both physically and mentally.

I am highly diabetic. Good diet and exercise keep me alive and kicking for another day. Eating out leaves me feeling groggy with elevated blood sugar and affects my energy levels even the following day. Ever since I was diagnosed, I have cooked meals for myself every single day. This takes time and so I preferred to work-from-home for my employees. Recently, a role change has required me to go to work every day and eat out occasionally. I try my best to pack a lunch from home. But some days, when clients visit, the day starts early and ends late with no energy or enthusiasm left for cooking.

Longer work days also mean that the propensity to relax on weekends is more than the inclination to socialize. I like to have my friends over and have them enjoy my cooking. But SG and I also want to catch up on chores and have relaxed conversations without feeling the rush to accomplish anything on Saturdays and Sundays. Sometimes, I find myself preparing for the following week at work and with joy. This has been a tremendous learning experience for me. And I am grateful for it.

I like to voice my thoughts over a mic and feel connected to an audience. I have missed out on attending Live Lit on Thursdays for the past two months. Something I had been committed to for over a year. These are trade-offs of things I value.  I don't like saying that 'I am busy.' That is abstract. I like to define that I can have consecutive 10-hours days and since it is a start-up, everyone has to pull their weight. Also, this is more than just a 'job' for me, so I want to do my best.

I had two options:
  1. Stay in a comfortable job and learn marginally. 
  2. Push myself to the limit and see how far I can grow.
The seed would never grow if it were comfortable in the warmth of the earth, It decides to push against the dirt to become self-sufficient. Similarly, you have to step out of your comfort zone and expose yourselves to different energies. Allow yourself to feel the discomfort. Allow yourself to fail even. But focus on the growth. Only the growth.

Friday, August 10, 2018

What should a woman wear?

Women in Denmark who are found wearing niqab and burqa can now expect to be penalized for the ‘illegal act’ - more than £100 for the first offense and up to £1,200 with a potential jail sentence of up to six months. At the other extreme of the spectrum was what I read in ’I am Malala’ where the Taliban could choose to shoot a woman in the face if she refused to wear a hijab.

Fashion has changed over the years, from corsets that constrained the respiratory system so much that women needed fainting couches to bullets bras with circular stitches that made your boobs a weapon for your defense to the realization that women can wear pants to work too.

The western world appears very modern from a distance because it allows its women to wear whatever they want. But modernity is not a function of what you wear. You can wear a pair of jeans, but you might have Paleolithic ideas about gender roles. You might cover yourself from head to toe and still be championing for women’s right to education. Also, a deep cut blouse or a short skirt doesn’t make you sexually promiscuous.

For years, men thought that women dress up to get their attention. And women think it is for competition. That is a very antediluvian way of thinking. They didn’t get the memo that women (and men and pangender people) can wear whatever they want as long as the occasion is appropriate. You won’t wear shorts to a board meeting or a burqa to a beach (if your belief system is not strictly Islamic). In fact, what you wear should be no one’s business but yours.

Wednesday, August 01, 2018

Lessons from The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

I started watching an Amazon original series (that received 14 Emmy nominations this year) about the life of a 26-year old woman who had a husband, two kids, a posh apartment- everything a woman living in Upper West Side of New York in the 1950s could want for her life to be perfect. Everything.

The pressure of having to look perfect every day
However, I was amused by the fact that she wanted to look so impeccable for her husband that she woke up every day before him, did her makeup- lipstick, fake lashes- the whole shebang and went back to bed to pretend that she had woken up looking flawless. The idea is ridiculous. I am my most vulnerable with my husband. He has seen me cry- bloated and red-nosed and has loved me. I can put up my game face for the world, but at home, I can be myself- whatever I choose to be. And not necessarily perfect. This is exactly when I sensed that things were not going to be kosher for Mrs. Maisley.

Don’t get me wrong. I am a huge fan of make-up. Done in the right amount, it can enhance your natural features. You can also opt to look like the Tin Man of Wizard with over the top highlighting- your choice. I don’t judge because I believe in the freedom of choice. However, the constraint of having to look perfect every day and even on your bed, while you sleep with the person who should accept you as you are- genuinely scares me. This is an unnecessary pressure that no woman should be subjected to.

Earn enough
Living the life of an upper-middle-class housewife with nannies to take care of the babies, a German cook at one’s beck and call, exercise classes, continually obsessing over body measurements and a seemingly infinite disposable income for shopping can appear like living in a dream- with rainbows in the sky every day. But it has no glory. Because you are dependent on the charity of another person to give you affection and financial security. What if someday he decides that he wants something else? Where will you be then?

Every woman should earn enough to be able to afford a place of her own. And if you are not making it, you are not there yet. And it is not just for the extreme case of a marital separation. You might get alimony that can afford you to get a place of your own. Even if you are in a healthy relationship, and you have the talent for anything- use it to build a nest egg and the rent for your nest if you need it. This will give you the confidence you need to waddle through a lot of feculence people throw at you.

Have real friends, instead of many friends
A woman should always have friends of her own. If the mutual friends decide to take sides, which they often have to, in case of a separation, at least, you won’t be left friendless. Mrs. Maisley may have found better friends through her ordeal- people who have similar interests and want to see her succeed, instead of vacuous, superficial people who she was obligated to socialize with because they were the wives of her husband’s friends.

Every woman should have at least one reliable person to lean on. Someone who will take you in on a rainy day and not worry about you messing up the carpet. This might be the hardest asset to find because even if you are a friend to everybody, not everybody is going to be a friend to you. You are only valuable to them as long as you serve a particular purpose. When it ends, your relevance in their life ends too. I have seen it happen often. Women who thought other women were their best friends, moved on with their lives when they didn’t need a free nanny, a friend who cooks and entertains or lends you money.

Ask yourself- if I had nothing- no money, no house, no husband- would they still be friends with me? If not, maybe it is time to make some new friends.

Monday, July 02, 2018

The 4th Annual Poetry festival, San Jose

Please feel free to share with your friends and consider supporting local artists by attending the 4th Annual Poetry festival, San Jose



Sunday, June 17, 2018

Wild child


During one of our family vacations, I saw a huge, gorgeous tree bent at an angle. I wanted to climb it so my father gave me a hand. I was fifteen and it still is one of my fondest memories. An aunty traveling with us said,’ Amitabha da, your daughter is so wild. Who will marry her?’ I think she used the term ‘গেছো’, literally meaning arboreal. He muttered,’ Doesn’t matter.’ For him, climbing trees was more important than learning how to be more marriageable.

I also liked to climb and walk on walls like cats. An elderly neighbor voiced his concern to my mother,’ What if she falls and breaks her legs? Who will marry her then?’ I had to convince Ma that I would be careful and I avoided the front end of the wall so the neighbor could not see me again enjoying my walks on the walls.

They let me grow unpruned.
I might have some disagreeable parts, but I am completely, authentically me. And somewhere, that wild child still lives on and I am grateful for that.

On Father's Day


Most of my life I have seen him in his police uniform. When the front gate cranked and we hear his boots on the concrete passage to our house, we would settle in and become quiet if we were whiling away or chatting with mother. A strict disciplinarian and with very little patience for weakness- that is how we knew him. Now, I get to see the human behind the uniform, who is equally vulnerable like any other. His eyes light up upon receiving the tiniest of gifts. Even though he is not very verbal about his emotions, he emotes through poetry. I get why he wanted us to be strong. The mother nurtures, the father hopes that we can survive on our own. And somehow feels proud to see us do it. Happy Father's Day. This day and every day. My happiness today is a function of everything you did for us. 

Friday, June 08, 2018

Find someone to talk to

We choose our friends. And if from all the people I chose you, I will make sure you feel pampered. I want you to feel good about yourself. Because I hope to be the kind of friend I needed in my hard times. That is why I have the irritating habit of texting my friends to ask how they are doing when I don’t hear from them for too long. Just to make sure they are doing okay.

Sometimes, it won’t be enough, I know. But the world won’t end that day. Don’t give up on life. And if you ever need someone to talk to, I will make sure that I am available for you. I will stand by you. Vent out, crib, have a good cry on my shoulders. Doesn’t matter how long you need to recover, hold my hand. Too much? Okay, let’s dial it down a bit. I can also give you a glass of wine instead of my hand. In extreme cases, seek professional help. Whatever you need. But, please, oh please! Don’t give up on life. There is always someone willing to listen. Someone who cares. Even if you feel alone, you are not.

National Suicide Prevention Lifelines
USA:1-800-273-8255
Canada : 1-800-668-6868
India: +91-22-27546669

Friday, May 11, 2018

Where is my home?

I was discussing with my friend if adapting to the country you live in is bad. Why should it be?

If you are enamored with a place so much that you will accept poor quality of living just to be in it, then you are making a mistake in my humble opinion. But you can be successful in any part of the world. Boundaries are man-made constraints. Even race is a social construct, a weak proxy for genetic diversity.

Then where is my home? Who are my people?
Home is where you feel welcomed and valued. Sometimes, it can be thousands of miles away from the place you were born in. And my people are those who cheer for me, who motivate me to do better, who help me evolve. My home is right here, in my present.

Thursday, May 03, 2018

How to separate editions on Goodreads

I was trying to combine my separate editions of 'Bits and Pieces' on Goodreads into one edition when I checked the box of another book 'Belief'


As a result, two of my works were combined into one. But the Separate Tool was not working for me.
This is because only librarians and staff are able to separate editions.


Solution:
Post a request to separate the editions in the Librarians Group. To do so, first, join the group by clicking on "Join Group" under the group profile photo.  From there, you can simply post a request by starting a new discussion thread here.  

Tuesday, May 01, 2018

The spirit of poetry

One of the reasons I like going to Poetry Center San José (PCSJ) events is because of this. Last night, it was the grand slam final for the SJ Poetry slam team that will travel to Chicago to compete in the Nationals. In the first round, one of the poets froze midway as he lost his words. Not the first time someone froze in front of a mic. It won't be the last time. But the audience kept snapping their fingers to encourage him to keep trying to remember and start over. Even though he ended up with a considerable time penalty, I believe that every person in the room was rooting for him. Even his competitors. Where else would I find people who don't secretly want you to fail so that they can get your spot? Let me know and I would like to be present in the room so that I can snap my fingers again. 

Monday, April 30, 2018

অতিথি

কাউন্ট ড্রাকুলার গল্প যদি বাংলায় লেখা হত তাহলে তা কেমন লাগত? অবশ্যই ট্রানসিলভানিয়ার কাউন্ট তখন হয়ে যেতেন বাংলাদেশের কোন বনেদি জমিদার বংশের বংশধর । আর জনাথন হারকার হয়ে যেতেন কোন ছাপোষা নেহাতই ভালোমানুষ বাঙালি ভদ্রলোক । 

ধারাবাহিকভাবে লেখার চেষ্টা করছি একটা অনুপ্রাণিত গল্প । তার প্রথম ও দ্বিতীয় অধ্যায় আমার ব্লগে প্রকাশ করলাম । ভালো লাগলে মন্তব্য করবেন

প্রথম অধ্যায়
হাওড়া ছেড়ে তখন রেলগাড়ি শিবনারায়ণপুর স্টেশনে পৌঁছেছে । আমি গাড়ি থেকে নেমে একটা টাঙ্গা খুঁজছি । স্টেশন মাস্টার খুব সুহৃদ ব্যক্তি । বললেন, ‘এই সময় তো টাঙ্গা পাওয়া মুশকিল । আপনি বরং আমার অফিস ঘরে কিছুক্ষণ বিশ্রাম করুন।’ আমি ধন্যবাদ জানিয়ে উনাকে বললাম যে আমি ওয়েটিং রুমেই ভালো সময় কাটাতে পারব । শুধু শুধু উনাকে বিব্রত করা উচিত মনে করলাম না ।

ওয়েটিং রুমের দিকে তখন সবে পা বাড়িয়েছি, উনি জিজ্ঞেস করলেন, ‘তা কোথায় যাওয়া হচ্ছে?’ আমি বললাম ‘জমিদার দেবনারায়ণ বাবুর বাড়িতে ।’সেটা শুনে একটা গ্রাম্য গোছের বয়স্ক মহিলা জোরে জোরে হরি নাম জপতে লাগলেন। আমার ব্যাপারটা এতই অদ্ভুত লাগলো যে আমি কিছুক্ষণ নির্বাক হয়ে চেয়ে রইলাম । স্টেশনমাস্টার আমতা আমতা করে আমাকে বললেন, ‘বয়স্ক লোকদের অনেক কুসংস্কার থাকে, আপনি কিছু মনে করবেন না । ওই বাড়ির খুব বদনাম আছে । অনেকেই তাই জমিদার বাড়ির নাম শুনলে ভয় পেয়ে যায়।’

বয়স্ক স্ত্রীলোকটি কিন্তু কোন দিকে ভ্রুক্ষেপ না করে সোজা উঠে এসে আমার হাত ধরে ফেললেন । কাকুতি মিনতি করে বলতে লাগলেন যে, ‘খোকা, এত কম বয়সে বেঘোরে প্রাণটা কেন দিতে চাও? আমাদের তো যাওয়ার আর কোন জায়গা নেই কিন্তু তুমি শহর ছেড়ে এই পাড়াগাঁয়ে কেন মরতে এসেছ?’

বার্ধক্য জনিত ভীমরতি ভেবে আমার তার প্রতি খুব দয়া হল, তাই আমি উনাকে ঠেলে সরিয়ে দিতে পারলাম না । আমার ঠাকুমাও শেষ বয়সে নানা অপ্রাসঙ্গিক কথা বলতেন আর সন্ধ্যা হতে না হতেই কোন শব্দ শুনলে চেঁচিয়ে বলতেন, ‘কে যায়? কে যায় ওখানে?’ প্রথম কয়েক বার অনেক খোঁজাখুঁজির পর যখন কাউকে পাওয়া গেল না তখন আমরা বুঝতে পারলাম যে ঠাকুরমার হয়ত স্মৃতি বিভ্রম হচ্ছে এবং শ্রাবণেন্দ্রিয় সংক্রান্ত হ্যালুসিনেশন হচ্ছে । যখন শব্দ হচ্ছে না উনি শুনতে পাচ্ছেন আর যখন সত্যিকারের শব্দ হচ্ছে উনি সেটা শুনতে পারছেন না । এই বৃদ্ধা হয়ত সমস্ত নব আগন্তুককে সাবধান বাণী শুনিয়ে তার কর্তব্য পালন করেন ।সত্যি বলতে কি পথে-ঘাটে তো বিপদের অভাব নেই । বেঘোরে প্রাণ যাওয়াটা আজকাল কিছুই অস্বাভাবিক নয় ।

বৃদ্ধাকে সরিয়ে নেওয়ার জন্য যখন লোকজন উঠে পড়ে লেগেছে তখন তিনি নিজের হাতের রুদ্রাক্ষের মালাটা আমার হাতে দিয়ে বললেন, ‘ঈশ্বর তোমার মঙ্গল করুন বাছা । দুধের বাছা আমার । আহা! কি সুন্দর মুখখানি! যেন রাজপুত্তুর! ’

লজ্জায় আমার মুখ তখন লাল হয়ে গেল ।

কিছুক্ষণ অপেক্ষা করার পর স্টেশন মাস্টার এসে বললেন যে জমিদার বাড়ি থেকে একটা ঘোড়ার গাড়ি এসেছে । সন্ধ্যা তখন ঘনীভূত । বাইরে পরিষ্কার কিছুই দেখা যাচ্ছে না । দূরের আমবাগানের গাছগুলো অতীন্দ্রিয় প্রহরীর মত নিস্তব্ধ হয়ে দাঁড়িয়ে আছে । যেন কিসের অপেক্ষায় । এখানে কুসংস্কারাচ্ছন্ন হওয়াটা কিছু অস্বাভাবিক নয় । বিজলি বাতি আসে নি । রাস্তাঘাট অন্ধকার । প্রকৃতির প্রভাবই বেশি । ফলে আমাদের পূর্বপুরুষেরা যেসব অলীক ভয় কল্পনা করে জীবন রক্ষা করতেন সেসব কল্পনা এখানে এখনো জীবিত আছে ।


Saturday, April 28, 2018

Writing workshop exercise: Describe a painting

Today, I attended a workshop by Lita Kurth and we had a fun exercise when we had to pick a painting of our choice an describe it.  I think the term associated with it is 'Ekphrasis' ( adjectival form 'ekphrastic') which is a vivid, often dramatic, verbal description of a visual work of art, either real or imagined.

Here is what I chose and what I had to say about it :




Her hair was like flames licking her face and her emerald eyes still like a lake in the mountains on an overcast day. Her lips full and painted brick red. She wore a baggy, mint-green sweater, a woolen cap, and distressed blue jeans. She crossed her arms like she was hugging herself, seeking the comfort she did not find elsewhere. She wanted to remain invisible but she was so conspicuous because of her sadness. It radiated from her like a halo. It did not repel me, it attracted me like a moth is drawn to a candle.  I felt that if I get too close I might singe myself. Is it possible to be attracted and be intimidated at the same time?

I think she is scared of her own thoughts, she seldom speaks. But nonverbal cues say a lot about what she is feeling: raised eyebrows is an interrogation mark, dilated pupils signify surprise and parted lips means that she is receptive to the person she’s talking to.

Beneath her tattoos are buried the marks of abuse. A gift from her mother suffering from drug-induced hallucinations. She was sure she had given birth to the spawn of the Devil. Why else would all her lowlife boyfriends want her daughter instead? The little bitch!

She could’ve given up on life and be dragged into a world of drug abuse and prostitution like her mother. Instead, she educated herself and learn to make music. She spoke through the notes on her violin. 🎻

Sunday, April 22, 2018

Thoughts on Earth Day

Terraforming other planets to resemble earth is a good concept. But if we can’t take care of the home we currently have, what makes us think we will behave better when we find a new home?

My current locus of concern is the Great Pacific garbage patch. The United Nations Ocean Conference estimated that the oceans might contain more weight in plastics than fish by the year 2050. A lot of this plastic ends up in the stomachs of marine animals like sea turtles, dolphins etc. Albatross chicks die because their parents feed them plastic by mistake.

What can we do?
Volunteer for beach cleanups if you are physically able.
If not, at least pledge to ban plastic from your life. Use brown or reusable bags when you go for groceries. Don’t use straws. When you use a face scrub, make sure those don’t contain plastic microbeads that will eventually pollute our ocean.

I had a great day at the beach yesterday. Now imagine instead of the kelp and other flora, if the ocean threw back our garbage at us. The Earth is a forgiving mother, but we have abused this relationship for too long.

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Review of The Handmaid's Tale

The Handmaid's TaleThe Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

The most obvious question after reading the book is whether a Gilead regime is possible in America.
When individuals trade their rights for a false sense of security, totalitarianism like that flourishes. The Handmaid’s Tale is both the history and the future. Both a cautionary tale and a dystopian novel. When the political elites decide what to do with our bodies, enforced pregnancy doesn’t seem too far off a reality. In that regard, we are all Offred.

P.S. I found the text incredibly difficult to read and switched to the Audible version by Claire Danes which made it easier to follow. The writing style is not very reader-friendly.

View all my reviews

Thursday, March 08, 2018

On International Women’s Day

Be a rebel.
Be someone people are afraid to mess with.
Love without limitations,
But know when to draw back if your love is taken for granted.

Give what you have to those in need.
Learn something every day.
Nurture and nourish like Goddess Annapurna.
But acknowledge that you have the power to destroy like Goddess Kali.

This is who you are-
A goddess.
A part of the primordial cosmic energy
That moves the entire universe with Shiva.
Each is incomplete without the other.

You are not a follower.
You are an equal.
You just contribute differently.
Know your worth, but value others.

To all the goddesses I know -
Happy International Women’s Day

Tuesday, March 06, 2018

Review for Bits and Pieces

Thanks to all those who bought the kindle version of Bits and Pieces, and all those who have expressed interest in getting a print copy.

Please take a moment to publish your review and ratings on Amazon and Goodreads. Your purchase of my work is proof of your support, I am just asking to put it down in black and white. Also, if you want, mention your favorite piece from the book and why it appealed to you. I’d love to know how it spoke to you.

Much love ❤️

For your convenience, you may click on the following links
Amazon US
Amazon India
Goodreads

Saturday, March 03, 2018

সম্প্রদান

সম্প্রদান
বিবাহ অনুষ্ঠানে কন্যাকে সম্প্রদান করা ;
নিজের স্বত্ব বিসর্জন দিয়ে দান করা, নিজের মালিকানা দিয়ে দেওয়া। 

আমাদের দেশে অনেক কুপ্রথার মধ্যে একটা হল বিবাহ অনুষ্ঠানে কোনো বিধবাকে অংশগ্রহণ করতে না দেওয়া। ছোঁয়া ছুঁয়ির ব্যাপার তো আছেই, সঙ্গে আছে  কিছু মানুষের মধ্যে বদ্ধমূল ধারণা আছে যে কোন এয়োর কাজে শুধু আয়তিদের উপস্থিতিই আকাঙ্ক্ষিত এবং পতিহীনা নারীর উপস্থিতি অশুভ। এর কোনো যুক্তি আমি জানি না।

সমাজে কিছু লোককে এক ঘরে করার চক্রান্ত ছাড়া কি বলব? যারা পরিস্থিতির শিকার (victims of circumstances ) ওদের বারবার আরো হেনস্থা করার কি মানে? আর বৈধব্য যে ছোঁয়াচে রোগ সেটা কোন চিকিৎসা বিজ্ঞান গ্রন্থে লেখা আছে?

হিন্দু বিবাহ অনুষ্ঠানের মধ্যে একটা অত্যন্ত আবেগপূর্ণ মুহূর্ত কণ্যাদান বা সম্প্রদান।  প্রচলিতভাবে পিতা বা পিতৃস্থানীয় কেউ এই দায়িত্বটি পূরণ করে থাকেন। খুব কমই শোনা যায় যে কারোর মা কণ্যাদান করেছেন। 

মানলাম রীতি।  কিন্তু রীতি তখনি খাটে  যখন আর বাঁকি পাঁচটা পরিস্থিতিও গতানুগতিক। যে কণ্যাসন্তানের পিতৃবিয়োগ হয়েছে ছয় বছর বয়েসে, যার মা তাকে একা হাতে মানুষ করেছে, যার কাকা মামারা অনুপস্থিত বা তার লালনপালনে নির্লিপ্ত, তাদের হঠাৎ একটা সামাজিক অনুষ্ঠানে এত অধিকার কি করে চলে আসে যে তার মালিকানা বিনিময় করবে ? সন্তান বুঝি গরু ছাগল?  আজ এর, কাল ওর। আর মেয়ের মনের কথা জিজ্ঞাসা কয়জন শোনে বা জিজ্ঞাসা করে ?

শুনে খুশি হলাম যে সম্প্রতি আমার পিসি এক বৈবাহিক অনুষ্ঠানে উপস্থিত ছিলেন যেখানে কণ্যাদান করেছে মেয়েটির মা। তাতে কার কি মনোভাব হয়েছে জানি না, কিন্তু আমি ভেবে শান্তি পেয়েছি যে বিয়ের দিনটা মেয়েটার জন্যে অত্যন্ত গুরুত্বপূর্ন; তার ইচ্ছেপূরণ করতে যদি তার বিধবা মা একটা নিয়ম নিষ্টা নিয়ে পূরণ করেন তাহলে তার চেয়ে শুভ কি হতে পারে?

Thursday, March 01, 2018

Don't be a victim

Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you should allow yourself to be treated like a doormat. We try to ignore the bad behavior of people we love or the ones they love because we think it is not worth it. This way we become enablers. They go on to misbehave with everyone and think they can get away with it.

If you don’t get the respect you deserve in a relationship, try to find out why. If you figure those are the fruition of a prejudiced mind and a sense of entitlement, it is time to move camp. Honestly, I have been a loner all my life and have preferred to invest emotions in only those whom I have found to be exceptionally kind. We have all been through a lot to be callous to ourselves. Don’t be a victim. Choose happiness.

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

Job description for a high school teacher in the US

Degree requirements: Bachelors

Key responsibilities: Make lesson plans; give tests; grade student homework and tests; communicate with parents about student progress or problems.  

Bonus: Willing to act as a human shield in case of a mass shooting.

Saturday, February 17, 2018

On Happiness

I have always believed that it is unfair to expect someone else to make us ‘happy’. It has to come from within. We have to find the path that leads us to it. We may love to spend time with someone, but our happiness, our purpose in life has to be defined by us. The achievement of our goals should make us feel more fulfilled, whether someone else validates it or not. If you find someone who travels well with you on your journey, it is great.

But I want you to know that you are enough.

Friday, February 16, 2018

A breakup song

You want to know what is wrong?
Every snide remark you thought did not register with me, accumulated into this huge cascade of disappointment that washed away all the good memories we had together.

I am tired of placing your happiness before mine and finding that everything I did was never enough.
I am tired of you thinking that I held you an emotional hostage when I tried to tell you what was going wrong. You shut me out when the conversation changed from what you wanted to hear to what I had to say.

You want to know what is wrong?
You had your chance, but you blew it.

I hope you find happiness with someone else. Because I can't bring myself to love you the way I used to. And that breaks my heart.

I am not very complicated. I ache to give love. And I love those who are kind to me.

You and yours have disrespected me, hurled words at me when it was completely unnecessary.

And now that I draw back into my shell, you feel surprised. My behavior is not impulsive. It is a rebellion against the years of emotional abuse that you have subjected me to, even though you knew I was vulnerable. This is me not caring for a change.

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Bits and Pieces : Ebook release

I am excited to share that Bits and Pieces is available now on Amazon Kindle at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B079S481K4 in the US
and at
https://www.amazon.in/dp/B079S481K4 in India.
#BitsAndPiecesByAparna


Wednesday, February 07, 2018

It felt love


How
Did the rose
Ever open its heart

And give this world
All its
Beauty?

It felt the encouragement of light
Against its
Being,

Otherwise,
We all remain
Too
Frightened.

~Hafiz, Persian Sufi poet


Tuesday, January 30, 2018

How to read more?

I have been working on my Goodreads challenge this year (a pledge of 24 books). I have to average two books a month to complete my goal, and I have been wondering how to accomplish it. Tania di is my school senior from Holy Cross who has already completed 7 books for her 55 books challenge and I often see her progress on my Goodreads newsfeed. I found it very inspiring and I had to ask her how she does it.

She advised the following:
'I got rid of my TV, cut out my Netflix subscription and spent all my free time reading in some form. Audiobooks is probably another reason I can get through more. Audible/library audiobooks etc. I listened to these for hours during my long drives which I had to do daily for a few years. I also play them while playing games or doing chores. '
To be honest, I never really enjoyed audiobooks much, but those seem to be something to take into account if I want to complete my reading challenge this year. I used to listen to NPR when I cooked meals. I can switch to audiobooks once in a while.

I usually read before going to bed, and I fall asleep by the time I have read about twenty pages. I am working on cutting down TV time. Honestly, it is not much of a challenge because after a while, TV feels boring and I feel like going back to reading.

carry a book everywhere I go. I travel quite frequently, and long flights are ideal for some light reading. I even take my iPad to my manicurist. There is a good 45-mins reading time available when she is working on my feet. You can carry a book if you are expecting a long wait for a doctor's visit. Basically, encourage yourself to use all the hidden minutes in a day.

Also, using the progress tracker in Goodreads make it like a game where I try a little harder to complete one more page before I give up.

She also opined that I could skim non-fiction. A lot of non-fiction is fluff writing to fill a book when the message is rather short. She mentioned speed reading, and though I am someone who likes to take time to devour good writing, it might work for books where comprehension is not the main objective. Whatever your goal is, I hope you take time to enjoy reading some good books this year. Good luck!

You may like some classic audiobooks here

Tuesday, January 02, 2018

Headliner at Caffe Frascati


You are invited to join me at Caffe Frascati at 315 S First Street, Downtown San José around 8 pm on Jan 4, 2018, Thursday. Open mic begins at 7:30 pm. Bring your rants and raves, poetry and stories. 

*
For those who missed the event, here is a video: