I saw a blog where the author asks men to choose between "an outspoken-intelligent-independent girl and a beautiful-dumb-dependent one"
The Feminist(or rather the Equalist) in me doesn't think it's fair. The poll should be open to both gentlemen and gentle (or not so gentle) ladies.
So here's your plate to choose from: Imagine you can assemble and customize your life partner ( If I make it sound like I am selling a product, no apologies :P) What are the top 3-5 qualities you would like to have in him/her? (Have to limit your choice. Can't let you get greedy. Get real pal. You might not even have the three!........Kidding :D)
You can use any adjective/noun adjunct/phrase that comes to your mind. This list is just a reference:
Intelligence
Power
Wealth
Singing/dancing/other fine arts skills
Culinary expertise
Technical expertise
Social Behavior How he/she behaves with elders/ kids/ the less fortunate (**very important criterion as far as my choice is concerned)
Beauty - list 2/3 sub elements like long hair/ smooth skin/ broad shoulders/slim waist/long legs/expressive eyes etc
Thrills ( by that I mean the kind of guy/gal who would take you out on bungee jumping on a date or a long drive from Boston to New York or go camping by the woods. The outdoors types)
Well read and knowledgeable about most subjects (Caution: Constant blabbing might put you to sleep)
Well traveled
Courteous and polite (opens the door for you, takes care of the small things, doesn't raise his/her voice even while in a rage, seldom utters swear words etc)
Martial Arts - Japanese Judo or Karate, Korean Tae Kwan Do, Burmese Lethwei, Muay Thai, Jeet Kune Do etc
I already have some standard prototypes (the elements might vary or change in individual samples):
The King Kong/Amazon type: Dominative, Professionally successful, Unshaven armpits
The Goody two shoes/Take home to your parents type: Submissive, Well read, Fine Arts
The Geeky type: One who chooses latest gadgets over you, Has a wild assortment of software you don't know half the names of, Thinks coding is the best thing to do on a honeymoon
The Business Tycoon/ Rich Bitch type: Filthy rich, Overtly assertive(almost to the edge of being bossy), over indulgent in self-love/self-praise
I'm sure your choice will be better :D Happy assembling!
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36 comments:
As long as there could not be any attitude clash through out the life (well u can say that as ego factor also) from both the side i am open for what ever the category you can think of. But damn it, i have kept my calendar so open for such an date for almost past 3 years and it seems i still have to keep it open. I too searched for tht ONE gentle lady in the initial phase, then got fed up and now here i am in the waiting phase. If the coming 2 years are going to be the same un-fruitful, i would better plan then for the rest of my so called "I AM SINGLE & HAPPY BACHELOR" life. I know i am too late with you. Why cant you help me by introducing me to some of your friends?...Let me see did i get that spark in the head :-P
@arun
*blink *
*blank *
*still blinking tubelight*
*now searching under torch *
Beep beep.. Found Female sample 1: Living with her boyfriend. Cross :X
Beep beep.. Sample 2: About to get married in Feb'08. Cross :X
Beeeeeeeep.. Sample 3 : Will sleep with anything that walks. Very Cross :X
be..e..p...Sample 4: 56 year old PMS effected spinster female..but very nice and homely.. ummm.. not sure. Care to get introduced?
mine would be the real shrewd, opportunist realistic type who would use me as much as i use her, as near as far, i would love to know her more than others but would hate to know her all..
as my nice old punjabi said
"its only empty headed nymphomaniacs that go behind handsome gigolos, I have no use for the likes of them and they have none for the likes of me"
@passer by
I love the way you put it. You can put an ugly truth without any pretense or make -up. Is it of late or had u been always like the "not a nice man to know" old Sard?
what about skills? nunchuk skills?
@arnab
Oh yeah! Absolutely.
Korean Tae Kwan Do, Japanese Judo or Karate,Burmese Lethwei , or any other form of martial arts is a very desirable trait. Not only he/she can butt-kick the baddies if need be, both of you can have a very productive time practicing it on each other :D Thanks for reminding. I'm adding it to my list.
I have been with almost all types of females
dumb belles,
Intelligent geeks
Shrewd seductress
Homely and Caring
Overly Ambitious
But I believe in the end it boils down to how you feel for her.
It does not matter whether she is fat, thin, stupid, smart as long as you have true feelings for her and that is the most important criteria.
@saurabh
"True feelings"? :O That's kind of vague. We are trying to be more objective. Anyways, seeing that you already "have been" with all kinds and have true expert knowledge on dating, we'll put down your opinion in the veteran list. But my take is that it takes only one man/woman to make you fall in love over and over and over again. And he/she is the one who can play all the roles with equal ease and flair. Kapish?
P.S @ saurabh
Hate to do it all the time . But the singular form of criteria is "criterion", just as alumnus is the singular for alumni. I hate it when people make the wrong usage. Specially after repeatedly being told not to.
hmmm i wonder wt the business tycoon types r lk...
@FireWhisky
Not as benevolent looking as Priyangshu Chatterjee or Richard Gere all the time if you ask me.:D Being an entrepreneur can be taxing on your personal life. So if you're planning to customize your boy toy who comes with luxury yachts and private aeroplanes as accessories, be sure to accept the fact that he'll have a big organization to look after too. And the Tiffany ring he gave you for the proposal might be the only thing left of your love life. Because - Hey, he has got an empire to watch over!
Just kidding. Business tycoons are not the only workaholics around.
@Saurabh
So true... When one falls in love, all goes down well. All foibles, all mistakes, all shortcomings seem so small. But if you don't like the person, even small things get sooooooooo annoying.
>> Would like her to be a classical singer.
>> Must speak with her silences.
>> Must be independent, frank and ruthless with me. (I am enuf fr deceiving myself and I don't like dependent types).
>> Must like necking (as in kissing the neck). Nt getting any more explicit ; )
>> Must love books.
Not much to ask fr except the frst thing I hope??
I think what we're trying to do is build up an image. Like when I mentioned 'wud like her to be a classical singer,' I assumed that would come with the mannerisms of a classical house. It's hard to keep free of unsaid (but nevertheless implied) expectations.
I had my options open and the requirement as well expectation minimal so that tomo i shall accept with no regrets wht comes my way...It seems being so I may end up with "56 year old PMS effected spinster female..but very nice and homely"...If so Destiny Inevitable! :-P
oh, i was just referring to napoleon dynamite - but it's not a bad quality to have in a partner, as you pointed out. i am wondering why it is only guys who are replying!
btw, your reply to saurabh reminded me of this: http://xkcd.com/326/
and tell me again why you put "Technical expertise" as a criterion?
@arun
You are a great sport :D But yeah, never lower your standards (or your pants) for someone not really worth it. It's good to have a plan sometimes. Coz most people can't recognize love when they see it. Watched "Hitch"? You will know what I'm talking about.
@abhinav
Lol. Wow great! If you ever find that girl, introduce me to her elder brother;)
Naaah.. kidding. But yeah, I always wanted a mix of strength and finesse too. Someone who has the courage to say the truth and is not insecure to lose me if he does. Can express his love though poetry or music or merely exchanging a look in a crowded room.
@arnab
Oh, I thought it's nunchaku or nunchucks u r referring to. Didn't know about napoleon dynamite. Thanks for expanding my GK. Somehow I like physical combat more than use of artilleries or explosives. Am medieval that way. Can't imagine blowing up the head of my partner just for the fun of it. Till breaking bones, it's ok though. Specially when I have those kickboxing fits :D
I discovered that site recently and liked the one where the girl tries to rob the angular momentum of the earth ( http://xkcd.com/162/) I found her myopic wisdom is like mine when I tend to ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future. But then I am learning too !
Grammar Nazi! Huhaahaa. I got a new nick for Saurabh now. And don't worry about him, sometimes he does that just to piss me off.
The technical expertise is because I consider myself technically handicapped. Though, some beg to differ. I specifically meant someone with intermediate to advanced level of web development skills so that when I own my personal website or finally work on http://www.aparnakar.com/, I don't have to pay a 100 grand annual salary to someone else.
P.S @ arnab
FireWhisky is a girl!
FireWhisky is a girl!
And me too :D
i like few candid facets of the surd's persona..i hope i am not like him or anyone else..:)
me sucks at spehaalings....
@saurabh
I know that even w/o your public declaration. You suck at grammar too, Grammar Nazi !
@passer by
Hee hee. Don't worry. Am sure about that:D You are unique. Just like everyone else :)
apun bhi ayela hain...how abt a cave woman :P
well going by all the choices you gave..if i had to pick and choose..i would then be enjoying the axe effect i guess..
but then what i seek is someone...who is fircely independent..but still has that passion to make the relationship work...someone who is out and out crazy (u'll know what i mean by it)...but still will love *OUR* family as much as i do....someone who doesnot beleive in living a life...but a building your own life...and yeah someone..who after reading this can give me a call and say yeah i am the one ;)
P.S. - waise if any of u are dating an amazon type do let me know..will get your life insured :P
hahaha ... and just the last day i was thinking how people have relegated the choice of a partner to shopping !!!
i'm sorry honey, if some quality (cd be one of those in ur list or outside, that appeal to me) in a girl hits me hard enough, i'll make the effort to hold on to her ...
ok, let me get back to the point ... my type is
1. Pretty (the appeal ...) which includes
a) bright eyes and
b) nice smile
c) good skin
2. Intelligent -- so she knows when to smile, and can learn stuff
3. Fun loving and mischievous
@aparna
robbing the earth of angular momentum ... good one !!
btw, if superman could do it, so can u ;)
@saurabh
let's try spelling in deutsche or dansk or smth ... we'll all be on a similar platform for speehlings and granmah then ... wat say?
@saikat
Cave woman!
Huhahaha! U r getting greedy. Do u think the guy really survived this? Lol. Couldn't have thought of a better way to commit suicide though!
Btw, "I am the one" kehne k liye tera number bhi to unko chahiye dumbo! Ya phir you want them to flood my mailbox requesting it :D "Saikat Bose is up for grabs. Women interested in bidding can place mail orders at foreverinsanityforever@gmail.com " :D
Aur ha, the Amazon types are not lethal. They just need someone to feed their ego. As long as you do that, she won't turn into a black widow * spooked out*
@abir
Pretty basic but pretty essential stuff. By mischievous, you don't mean one who climbs up trees or ties crackers to her father-in-law's dhoti , do u ? :D
About holding on to someone- virtue and vice are very relative. What you might treasure today might be an irritant tomorrow. I agree with Saurabh eventually. If you choose to love someone, everything he/she does appears beautiful. But the same things become appalling when you choose to hate that very person. So, no matter what you look for and find- make sure it's some innate quality -a source of joy forever and not a mask. Coz it is not about meeting someone for a few hours over a cup of coffee. It's about waking up lying next to someone- day in and day out - and still feeling lucky. Still feeling like it's the first time together.. Too mushy? Hajmola Sir :D
Saikat Bose is up for grabs lol :P ...reminded me of fevicol ad..pakde rena...choorna nahii :D
yeah righly said..no better way to commit suicide :D...but must say..in its category...axe campaigns are unbeatable
tc..
wow.. interesting options,
A combo of, "Intelligence", "Technical Expertise" and "Beauty" would be awesome, but well.. in the real world a girl with that three is not happening :P
@da rodent
What a sexist! Seek and thous shall find.. and find what you seek, nothing more, nothing less. Let go off your prejudices or u will be in for a rude shock. For example: U might find that girl but she might be engaged to someone else coz u didn't look sooner. Reason: u didn't believe she existed!
@saikat
Yeah they are commendable in their own way.. absurd.. but they do the trick. I for instance know- u use an Axe deo.. if I am not wrong :D
Hands down to the ads /\()/\ who titillate the imagination of the Y chromosomes. But yeah, yesterday I saw a dreamy creature in the elevator of Prudential Center and all I could think of was an Axe ad :D
@all
Btw, here's something which reminded me of how I imagined my ideal match to be a few years back. A matrimonial ad by an "almost" 20 year old fellow blogger. Refreshing !
hmmm.. "seek" I did.. "find" I did not :P However, I think its not with only women. I guess beauty+brains is a hard to find combo even in men. I would never know :P
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